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+--- Thread: Fan Fiction BEYBLADE burst solar system (/Thread-Fan-Fiction-BEYBLADE-burst-solar-system)
BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 12, 2021
Toro and his bey superior titan go to Tokyo to join the galaxy wizards the second best team in the BEYBLADE world cause the owner is free toro meets mike and his bey shining Midas And dena her bey Is blooming Death and my meet wonderful people
Episode one:A blossomed supernova. [at the plane] guy one:bumps tartarus out of toros hand. toro: tartarus!(runs around the whole plane trying to catch titan) ???:get back in your seat. Toro:Nani fine (sits down)toro:who are you. ???:willy you? Toro:toro waka (plane lands) Willy:I see you have a bey let’s have a battle.toro seems good to me {smirks} both:3 2 1 go shoot!!! (Warrior scoops down in a flower pattern) Willy: enchanted force! Toro:Rahhh bey half the size shoots out and follows warrior. Toro:superior abyss mini bey smashes warrior to tartarus (warrior hits with all his force)( warrior bounces off warrior glows ) Willy: smirks welded supernova.toro: Nani Titan burst in a second. Toro: .
. That’s the power of a supernova nova! Willy:I have to go now see you around. Toro:Titan if that’s a supernova I wanna learn how to do it to Titan shines
Episode two: damions a demon :Toro:this is the place. ???:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh (runs) hide me hides behind toro. Two guys go in the (opposite direction) toro : who are you why were being chased? ???:mike they don’t believe I was picked to come here you have a bey? Toro:I’m toro and yes I have a bey I’m also going to try for this team. (Both laugh) toro:we better get going it’s gonna start. Mike:there’s only 5 spots left toro good lucks to you. toro:thanks but if we battle you’ll need the good luck (laughs). Tester:Damion vs son and dena vs ten. Damion: hah you won’t last five seconds. Son:(gulps) you better watch your mouth. Both:3 2 1 go shoot. (Demon swoops Down and burst him in 2.6 secs) tester:son Is out. Dena and ten 3 2 1 go shoot.( Both land and circle each other) toro:wow. (Both hit each other repeatedly at light speed) dena:Deathblooming supernova! (burst tens)
I’m gonna make episode 3
Any character ideas? Before is do
Episode three:free appears:Tester:next round mike vs hao and toro vs yip. Mike:Midas we have to perfect this launch. Hao:hades we can’t lose. Both stare at each other. Three two one go shoot! (Midas lands and goes for golden cyclone meanwhile hades is spinning in circles speeding up and goes in the cyclone and flys out hits the wall and rebounds off hell supernova but the cyclone stops it hades spins the opposite way in the cyclone and stops it lands onto Midas Midas flips over and hit wall and loses its spin) mike:I didn’t come this far to loseeeeeeee! Golden supernova goes in one circle ⭕️ and one shots him flying to the other side of the room all:wow. Toro vs yip 3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!! (Titan takes center yens rubber boost him and bey shoots out and takes hit instead Titan hits him from back both big and small bey hit for a angle and circle it yip uses its gimmick and jumps up)he hits yip and cracks the stadium the mini bey pushes him against the wall yip smacks it to Titan ) (titan seems like it lost but it moves out of the way) ( toro:superior dagger 🗡 hits him in the perfect spot tarts glows and stops and burst yip) free drops down. free: did you here about the golden tourney.toro: free a tourney show them vortex faf nir. Preview:( every one launches but free hand spins) (free is a beast and burst everyone)
Episode 4 :the golden boy free: you all will battle me now.all:sounds good to me.everyone 321 go shoot (free spins with his hand) (all of them charge for free) (free steals spin from Death and burst her after two hits)(Midas goes in for the hit but his cyclone does nothing and he burst) (Titan goes for the attack but can’t land one single hit he shoots out the abyss faf nir hits it to him and he burst) (Poseidon uses king trident gets a clean hit but burst anyway) ( demon hits so hard he sends faf nir flying ) free: impressive. Damion:again. Both:Rip rip demon:burnt smash superiornova free:wha. Valt walks in valt:sup hehe. Faf nir hits his tip and demon goes flying out of the stadium. Free wins but wait what’s this.
Kai:forget me go Kronos (Kronos hits faf nir pretty hard but loses) tester:now is pen vs kai begin (Kronos hit Poseidon and knocks him out. Tester: we have are five bladers Damion dena mike toro and kai will battle to be in the three to compete tourney. [the training ground] valt and shu:hey free. free:hey guys valt :wanna battle me and shu. Free:why not. ( comes from the corner ) Lui::don’t forget me
Episode five: the legendary royal:toro runs with mike and dena and see Lui free shu valt. They hide. Let it rip extinction Lui nor and gaurdian Val try ak collide planetary spry zen and vortex faf nir collide all four hit each other and take a side of the stadium Lui goes to free and smash attacks him right to spry zen Valtryek smashes into all of them and they all go flying 1-0-0-0 valt:yes round two rip rip rip rip faf nir (takes center spry zen Valtryek luinor circle faf nir) (they all hit faf nir and burst)1-1-0-0(Lui upper attack’s them all)1-1-1-0 (spry zen uses planetary whip)1-1-1-1 valt makes giant tornado bursting them all valt wins. Valt:gg guys you all did good huh what’s this the battle royal is gonna start let’s go watch. Damion vs dena vs mike vs toro vs kai 3 2 1 go shoot (Kronos goes for demon and they hit each other hard) owner gets call:four get to go ok then . On the mike there’s been a change four people get to go Kurt dropped out now let’s continue.( Death and Midas clash hard as well) they all hit each other and burst “simultaneously “ we cheaked the footage and dena is out next time dena next time.
Episode 6 :the tourney part one :hanami -hello bey fans some have heard about the golden tourney we have
Aiga-Me and Achilles and the best team ever
Valt-we will blow the competition right of there feat (smiles)
Lui-the white tyrant is back
Dante-me and dragon will rise up
Shu-spry zen and I will take this
Free-blading is about you own path
Lain-my flare will burn brighter than anyone
Hikaru-we will burn brighter than the sun
Hyuga-hikaru is a thief he stole my thing. -I didn’t. hyuga-did to both-grr
Mike-we will make a tornado bigger than anyone
Damion-I will bring no mercy
Kai-I will rule the blading kingdom
Toro-my goal is to have the brightest supernova
Daigo-I’m here to win
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 12, 2021
episode 6 :the tourney:Hanami before we do the matches we will have a battle royal.
Toro-Titan why can’t we have a supernova tell me please
Titan- it’s because you haven’t trained your but off,you are a wonderful person and blader we will learn how
Toro-Titan your amazing (finger to fist bump)
Hanami-the battle royal will begin in five minutes
Mike-walks In hey toro let’s have a battle
Toro-your on
Mike-great
Both 3 2 1 go shoootttttttttt!
(Titan goes in for angelic dagger 🗡 Midas in the center makes a tornado angelic dagger strikes a hit and goes in the tornado but uses it to speed up drops down on midas )
Mike-midassssss golden super nova
Toro POV- he’s gonna beat me I can’t do supernovas
Titan- wrong let’s do this
Toro-I’m right here with you Titan
Toro and Titan- godly supernova (it’s purple and gold and white)
(mini abyss shoots out) (both hit Midas)(Midas burst)
Mike-I have to admit you are a amazing blader
Hanami-all bladers come for the battle royal
???-heh they forgot about two spots
Dena-time to go
[at the stadium]
All-three two one go shoot
(Faf nir takes center Midas goes to steal it )(doom cy zer goes for ???) toro-that’s Willy
(Willy burst doom scythe r) (and goes for Damion) (enchanted slash devil superior-nova both collide) (and burst at the same time)
(Midas fails taking the center and burst) (beyond Achilles goes for hikaru and hyuga) (beyond whip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Hikaru-what we burst
Hyuga-awww man I didn’t boom boom kaplamo
( gaurdian Valtryek goes for Achilles and beyond Achilles goes for Valtryek and spry zen gets in between them and gets bursted) (Achilles and Valtryek collide and Achilles gets sent sky high )
Aiga-beyond champion nova( hits faf nir from above and burst him)(Longinus and dragon bursted each other)( Lucifer and kai)(Lucifer bursted)
(Valt goes for kai)( kais circle )( slides Valtryek off)(Titan goes to hit kai) (pushes kai against the wall) (mini abyss burst Kronos)( Demeter hits Achilles but burst) (Achilles hits Titan and Valtryek and burst them both)
Toro- I’m guessing aigas the champion again
Valt-yeah but I’m proud of aiga
Hanami-the matches for round A are..........
Episode 7:toros great advance: hanami- the matches are.daigo vs lain, aiga vs mike, valt vs Damion, kai vs hyuga ,free vs Willy, dante vs Lui, shu vs dena, hikaru vs toro.
Daigo and lain-3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!!
(Doom sythe r goes for quake launch lain uses rewind wall) (doom sy ther burst)
Aiga and mike- 3 2 1 go shoot!!!
(Achilles goes to the center Midas hits two times then burst) mike- Nani ?????
Aiga-heh
Valt and Damion- 3 2 1 go shoot
(Valtryek uses flashing rush launch and breaks demon)( a new BEYBLADE shines )
Damion:demon is gone but devil is the new king of the underworld (Devil ring outs Valtryek)
Valt-this guy grrrr
Damion- devil will destroy everything
321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Devil lands perfectly and goes straight for a burst and lands it)(Damion walks away)
Kai and hyuga- 3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kronos straight up one shots it) hyuga-Nani
Free and Willy- 321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (Warrior take some spin from faf nir with its right spin rubber faf nir is cancelled out)
(Enchanted super nova burst faf nir)
Dante vs Lui— 321 go shoot
(Dragon and lui nor hit each other in a giant circle ⭕️ ⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️ )
(Dragons wings come out) Lui nor upper attacks and ....... Longinus wins.
Shu and dena-321 go shoot!!!!! (Death jumps over spry zen she try’s her best and hits the wall and crashes like a meteor and uses glomming meteor and spry zen Burst and then she burst after)
Toro-I’m going to battle a legend Titan.
Titan - I’m just as exited as you
Hikaru and toro- 321 go shoooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Titan goes for the offensive and crashes into Helios)(Helios uses sun shining supernova)and smacks Titanaround the stadium) Titan shoots outa abyss but it gets sent flying sky high and keeps getting hit around
Toro—— rahhhhhhhhhhh (eyes glow white gets wings and one horn and fangs)
Toro god moding———— godly quasar ( obliterates Helios in seconds) faints
Episode 7:toros great advance: hanami- the matches are.daigo vs lain, aiga vs mike, valt vs Damion, kai vs hyuga ,free vs Willy, dante vs Lui, shu vs dena, hikaru vs toro.
Daigo and lain-3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!!
(Doom sythe r goes for quake launch lain uses rewind wall) (doom sy ther burst)
Aiga and mike- 3 2 1 go shoot!!!
(Achilles goes to the center Midas hits two times then burst) mike- Nani ?????
Aiga-heh
Valt and Damion- 3 2 1 go shoot
(Valtryek uses flashing rush launch and breaks demon)( a new BEYBLADE shines )
Damion:demon is gone but devil is the new king of the underworld (Devil ring outs Valtryek)
Valt-this guy grrrr
Damion- devil will destroy everything
321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Devil lands perfectly and goes straight for a burst and lands it)(Damion walks away)
Kai and hyuga- 3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kronos straight up one shots it) hyuga-Nani
Free and Willy- 321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (Warrior take some spin from faf nir with its right spin rubber faf nir is cancelled out)
(Enchanted super nova burst faf nir)
Dante vs Lui— 321 go shoot
(Dragon and lui nor hit each other in a giant circle ⭕️ ⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️⭕️ )
(Dragons wings come out) Lui nor upper attacks and ....... Longinus wins.
Shu and dena-321 go shoot!!!!! (Death jumps over spry zen she try’s her best and hits the wall and crashes like a meteor and uses glomming meteor and spry zen Burst and then she burst after)
Toro-I’m going to battle a legend Titan.
Titan - I’m just as exited as you
Hikaru and toro- 321 go shoooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Titan goes for the offensive and crashes into Helios)(Helios uses sun shining supernova)and smacks Titanaround the stadium) Titan shoots outa abyss but it gets sent flying sky high and keeps getting hit around
Toro—— rahhhhhhhhhhh (eyes glow white gets wings and one horn and fangs)
Toro god moding———— godly quasar ( obliterates Helios in seconds) faints
Hanami-the winners for the next round are....lain,aiga,Damion,kai willy Lui dena toro.
Episode 8: dena vs lain:hanami-the matches are lain vs aiga Damion vs kai, Dena vs Lui, Willy vs toro
Lain-Lucifer we will overcome aiga (flares up)
Dena-it’s lain omg I’m gonna challenge him
Dena-lain?
Lain- WHAT (snaps)
Dena-sorry
Toro-hey lain what’s your deal she just wants to battle you
Dena-(blushes)
Lain- whatever (walks away)
Toro-you ok *blushes*
Dena-yeah
Toro-You wanted to battle lain right
Dena-yeah
Toro POV- she’s kinda pretty ughhh I’m so confused
Dena POV- the way he stood up for me he’s really nice I think I like him
Lain-dumb she thinks she can challenge me
Dena- HEY YOU ARE BATTLEING ME
Toro- do I like her or do I eternally fear her
Lain-o-ok
Both three two one go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Death rush launches Lucifer) (lucifer uses rewind devastation death uses blooming supernova Lucifer uses shadow supernova)
(Lucifer goes all out Death gets sent flying to the wall and uses a rebound to go back to Lucifer) then booom it all goes white thay both have little spin)
Dena-deathhhhhhhh we won’t lose not now
Deaths two blades glow blue and slash Lucifer Lucifer burst
Episode 9:aiga vs lain:hanami- we have a classic Lain vs aiga
Lain-aiga I will beat you and become champion
Aiga-in your dreams
Lain -I’ll turn it to your nightmare
Aiga-Your the only nightmare i have
Both-321 go shoot
(Lucifer crashes in the center Achilles is in attack mode )
Aiga-beyond flash. (Aigas aura and hands Are on fire his hair pops up all spikey)
Lain-rewind wall (purple flare ball appears) (lucifer rings Achilles out of the stadium
Lain- looks like I’m gonna win this
Aiga-(tieing hair back up) you can say what you want.
Both-3 2 1 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!
(Lucifer crashes in the center the battle seems to be on repeat,but aiga decided to keep hitting the wall)
(What’s this Achilles is cracking)
Aiga-Achilles awaken!!!!
(Blades break and it triggers a spring Achilles jumps up) (Aiga and lain are going all out) (aigas hair pops up rahhhhhh) (he is covered fire)
Lain-I win you are gonna fly out
Aiga-(smirks I guess)
Lain-he’s smirking
AIGA-BeYoNd DiVe
LAIN-ReWiNd CrUsH
(Achilles land on top of a barrier) (all turns white)
(A bey burst.............
Episode ten:DAMION vs KAI : Hanami-Lucifer has burst Aiga moves on to the semi finals
Aiga-that’s the power of a true king hehe but Achilles is the real winner
Lain-how how did I lose
*Aiga walks up to him* lain-what is it
Aiga-your bey here
Lucifer-whatever
[at the kitchen]
Mike -so I can stay to cheer you on
Toro-how come
Mike-I begged
Toro-(sigh) 😂
Dena-hey toro mind if I sit here
Toro-g-go ahead
Mike-ship
Toro-turns red
Mike-lol
Damion-i need a practice partner.
Lui-I need a practice partner
Damion-shi ro sa g I
Lui-what
Damion-wanna train
Lui-why train with a amateur I’ll only battle whoever beat valt
Damion-your talking and looking at him
Lui-fine
Both-321 go shoot
(Devil won’t stop bursting Longinus)
Damion-my battle
Kai-Damion I won’t lose
Damion-whatever helps you sleep at night
Kai-ready
Damion-yup
Devil-feast on his power
Damion-I will
Both- 321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Devil lands On the ridge of the stadium Kronos smashes against the wall devil lands on top of Kronos Kronos scraps the stadium cracking it devil pushes it down further) Kronos cracks and cracks. And breaks Damion grabs Kronoses pieces and adds them to Devil hah
Dena vs Lui
Both-321 go shoot!!!!!!
Hello readers uhh I have a request
I need more characters if you can or want to tell me some ocs you have and tell me there info and If you evolve them tell me so I can add it in the storyline?
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 13, 2021
Episode eleven:go all out.
Dena-(Death get rung out in one shot)
(Toro runs down there) toro-time out
Lui -I accept it
Toro-Dena you need to improve your launch form
Dena-ok
(Toro puts his hands on hers showing her a better launch form)
(They forget to stop holding hands)
Ref-times up
Both-(just realize they were holding hand) both-ahhhhhh
Toro-I’ll watch from here (gives big smile)
Both-321 go shoot
(Death land and does the same move she did on lain) (Longinus dodges every hit Death goes for the center Longinus hits and sends death flying two blades glow)
Dena-Blossoming supernova *thinks about how hard toro trains* Longinus zips through with full power*
Simultaneous burst* tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie
Dena-I have to show toro-San I’m strong to
death- appears you are strong and I bet he likes you and thinks your strong
Dena-thanks
Both-321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Everything goes white*
Lui-smirks you ready
Dena-yes *gets in new launch form*
Both-321 go shoot
(Death zooms around the stadium at light speed smacking Longinus around like it’s 🗑)
Blooming supernova glows blue)
Lui-Nani
(Death burst Longinus)
(Dena runs over to toro)
Toro-*k I z e s *
Dena- k I z e s back
Both-*run away*
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 13, 2021
I need more characters if you can or want to tell me some ocs you have and tell me there info and If you evolve them tell me so I can add it in the storyline?
Episode twelve:supernovas
:toro wakes up ) Huh must of dreamt the kiss Dena-hey mike hey toro
Toro-hey dena
Mike-toros battle is tomorrow
Toro-you guys wanna go camping
Dena-sure
Aiga-I’ll come along
[boat]
Mike-these s’mores are delicious
Toro-yeah
Dena-hey guys wanna help toro battle
All-sure
(Titan land so does death and midas death swoops down and gimmick activates/blades shift) (midas hits the wall and his free spin mode triggers ) (mini abyss shoots out and deals with Midas ) (midas redirects the abyss right at death and Titan) (death has burst cause of to much beys hitting her) (Titan goes right for Midas)
Mike-golden supernova!!!!!!
Toro-legend supernova
Aiga-that’s a nice battle
(Titan and Midas are goin hard as heck Midas gets burst)
Gwyn- if my calculations are correct the supernova is on a boat
Character info/returning characters/beys info/new characters
Toro hinowaka-14 year old boy with spikey blonde hair ,wears a black and white long sleeve jacket, loves all his friends very much, trainer free, bff:mike dena Willy, blue jeans has a crush on dena menikiwe
Mike kowidan- almost 15 years old blue haired boy with spikey downwards hair, wears a orange t shirt with a M on it and a white jacket-cute lovable sweet character ships tona toro and dena wears black sweat pants
Dena menikiwe- 13 year old teal haired girl with a long ponytail wears a bra and long pants has a crush on toro hinowaka
Valt Aoi -18 blue haired boy with pointy hair wears his DB outfit with more blue
Aiga akaba- 16 year old red haired boy has long ponytail red and gold shirt with an A has jeans 👖
Shu Kurenai-18 year old white haired boy looks formal with red tips on his suit hair is a bit longer
Free de la Hoya- 20 year old man yellow hair has dB design he didn’t change much he just got a bit taller
Kai hesika—15 year old white haired male Very good looking resizable guy wears gray and purple shirt
Damion hewoyine- 19 year old red haired guy with hearts style of clothing
Willy akorin- black haired 16 year old dude with a mask
Lain hyuga hikaru dante Lui look the exact same
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Returning characters
Gwyn
Hyde
Phi
Cuza
Daigo
Ken
Xander
Wakiya
Chuck idk why tbh
Dante
Ren wa fu
Arthur
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Bey info
Superior titan- balance type that has and gap in the layer the top layer has four daggers made of metal and on the bottom layer four swords in the middle of each dagger 🗡 a little bey shoots out of the layer the bey is called the abyss the layer is golden with purple daggers in the center of the bey is a eye. The disk is called push an heavy disk that has six spikes the tip is called format has a disk around a little point.
Shining Midas-the bey is white and blue with a golden man in the center of the bey has a multi blades ring that once hit hard turns free spin
The disk is called twist with a smooth circle the tip is block witch is a metal tip with a ball in the center
Blooming death-a two blades bey that shifts into four blades blue green disk quarter metal balls around a circle ⭕️ tip gravity magnetic tip
Beyond Achilles-2 bladed bey red blue and gold disk 000 basically 00 except way heavier tip kingly extend plus dash a super dash driver
Gaurdian Valtryek-circle but has three blades is blue and gold. disk driver flash rubber end that makes him accelerate .
Galaxy spry zen- red and gold black bey circle gimmick is you can extend the black parts disk oval tip cinco five modes
Vortex faf nir-a Golden blue bey covered in rubber disk bang a perfect circle tip kick
Deep Kronos-a bey that has two sythe the disk king two sythe as well for the tip it’s evolution
Furious Lui nor-chunky metal blades disk shuttle chunky metal. tip destroy dash
Chaos devil-a circle that turns to six blades disk flare frame that’s wider than the layer tip torment jumps um when pushed in
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Future characters and there beys in order of when I’ll show them or what I’ve thought of so far I’ll be happy to add ocs
Zane b: wish zen
Davis-wormhole dreamer
Rain-real reaper
Gen- horizon genie
Wade-timber world
Vex-determined venues
Hex-flashy hexus
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - LegendJustice - Dec. 14, 2021
wow I'll be reading this!
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 14, 2021
Thank thank you if you have a oc you wanna add to my thing I’ll be happy to add it
And you can evolve him however you like
I’m gonna make episode 13
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - LegendJustice - Dec. 14, 2021
I read 1-4 and here's a list of thinks you need to improve:
Grammer
Plot
Background
Info on characters.
and so many others, but i believe in you. It's promising just needs some work.
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - UnseenBurst - Dec. 14, 2021
Also, the writing feels cluttered together. Try spacing out each line of Dialogue so we can see it easier but nice job so far
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - DeltaZakuro - Dec. 14, 2021
Personally i think Length, characterization, grammar and obviously plot is lacking here so i do believe that's something you could focus on in coming chapters. Get all those resolved and you'll have an enjoyable fanfic.
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 14, 2021
Episode 13:rematch toro vs Willy:toro-shoot my battle
Willy-when will he arrive
Toro-I’m here
Both-321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Warrior knocks itself into Titan)(titan hits the wall dark aura appears)
Corrupted toro-Titan we won’t lose
Willy-something’s up with toro
Corrupted toro-GODLY QUASAR
Willy-Nani wealded supernova!!!!!!
(Warrior gets sent flying to the other side of the whole room)
Toro-I won wooo
Willy-there’s a other round don’t get cocky
Toro-to true
BOTH— THREE TWO ONE GO SHOOT
[warrior smashes right into Titan] [Titan doesn’t budge] [shoots out abyss]
[Warrior goes for the hit but gets stopped by the abyss] [warrior flings the abyss to Titan][warrior accelerates to them sends them flying out of the stadium]
Willy-I’ve evolved to (smirk), I won’t give up
Toro-you stole the words right out of my mouth (goes corrupted)
BOTH 3 2 1 GO SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll add more plot
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - SpeedySuomi - Dec. 14, 2021
Sorry mate, but not gonna lie. This looks very convoluted and too straightforward at the same time, there's barely any emotion in how they speak and I don't know what's going on. Pacing is way too quick for me to catch on and there's no build-up for events.
Also, the action scenes are incredibly lacking. Like, very, very lacking. The battles end way too quickly and I don't see any battle choreography whatsoever, just random moves strapped on together for a battle.
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 14, 2021
Episode14:semifinals pt.1
Titan lands in attack mode and chases after warrior) Toro-(crosses arms and smirks)no more mercy
Willy-Nani
Corrupted toro-end this battle Titan godly quasar
(Titan smashes into warrior )
Willy-....... Warrior you’ve been broken rah, I’ll get my revenge
Toro-huh WHAT HAPPENED TO WARRIOR
Willy-you broke it (runs away)
*at the training room*
Toro POV-so the semi finals are Damion,Aiga,Dena,me
(Damion walks in)
Damion-May I help you train
Toro-sure
Damion-my goal is to beat Aiga
Toro-nobody asked
Damion-you’ll be fun
Both-321 go shoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Devil repeatedly burst Titan over and over again)
Hanami-the semifinals are about to begin
Aiga-my only threat is Damion
Damion-if I beat Aiga I’d become the champion
Hanami-the match ups are Damion vs Aiga & dean vs toro
Hanami-let’s start the first battle
Damion-Aiga I’m coming for your title
Aiga-you could only dream
Ref-this will be a 3 point round
Aiga and Damion- THREE TWO ONE GO SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Achilles hits the wall and swoops down devil dodges Achilles hits the wall over and over again devil dodges over and over again six blades!)
(Achilles jumps up devil dodges Achilles makes a contact with the stadium)( devil charges right at Achilles)
Damion:BLACK HOLE
Aiga-nani
(Achilles breaks)
Crowd-...
Damion-I’m the Champion I’m the king of BEYBLADE
Aiga- next time I will defeat you
Toro-Damion is to strong I’ll be the one to beat him.
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Hollowmind13 - Dec. 14, 2021
Ok, "better but not the best" -Hollowmind8, 14/12/2021
For this reason, I'll re-write your 1st chapter. I'm not showing off or anything like that, just giving you an example to follow. (Sidenote: Using script because I don't want a 3 pages long chapter with full detailed stuff lol) Carma___bigbang
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Here it is, you can always use it as help. (I normally like helping others with smoothing out writing, I'm an irl support character lol)
Spoiler (Click to View)
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Dec. 14, 2021
I’ll make a whole new version of this
It’ll be called BEYBLADE burst bang
Read BEYBLADE burst bang I put my heart into its way better then this
Pls for meh
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Jan. 04, 2022
I’m trying this again
Episode-15 dena vs toro
(At helicopter)
Aiga-it was nice meeting you all
Toro-hey aiga
Aiga-hmm
Toro-I’ll best Damion for you (gives big smile)
Damion-you can try
Toro-grrrrrrrr ill beat you and avenge kai and aiga
Dena-you say that yet you haven’t beat me
Toro-oh yeah sorry
Mike-damion grrrr
Damion-what amateur who can’t even stay in the first three rounds
Mike-toro or dena will destroy devil
(Damion is gone)
Mike-uhhhh HEY YOU EVEN HEAR ME
(Cafeteria)
Toro-damion will be destroyed
Mike-toro Damion wants me
Toro-just go (Aura corrupts)
Mike-o-ok
(At field)
(Damion creeps behind mike)
Damion-BOO
Mike-AHHH MOMMY!!
Damion-really mommy?
Mike-(looks embarrassed)
Damion-battle me baka
Both-three two one go shoot!!
(Midas breaks in a single hit)
Mike-.....Midas......
(At the tournament stadium)
Toro and dena-I’ll beat you
Ref-321 go shoot
(Titan lands and takes center and death smacks it around the stadium)(titans abyss shoots out deaths hits it back at titan)(titan and the abyss swarm death then hit death from both angles)(death gets hit over and over again but seems to be holding spin)(titan let’s the abyss attack and goes in a circle around them)(hits death and launches it upwards)
(Deaths blades go four bladed mode)(the abyss gets shot up and hits death out the stadium with a mini dagger)(death goes flying towards dena)
(Toro catches and hands death to dena)
Both-321 go shoot!!
(Titan tanks the hits)(death changes to balance mode stanima /attack)(deaths finally swoops down)(the abyss shoots out and takes the hit for titan)(deaths tip scrapes and jumps up and crashes onto titan)(then titan clicks two times and the layer makes contact with the stadium floor and it rings out)
Both-321 go shoot
(Death slams into titan ands titan doesn’t budge not even a bit then death hits the wall over and over again because titan keeps dodging)(titan goes for the attack)(they collide and go so fast they travel around the whole stadium faster than you can say hamburger)(death hits the walls and enters its best mode)(and goes down with a extreme burst of energy)(titan does the same exact thing)
Dena- NOW DEATH BLOSSOM SUPERNOVA!!!!
Toro- NOW TITAN GODLY SUPERNOVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DEATH SENDS TITAN FLYING OUT OF BOUNDS)(BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT HITS THE GROUND DEATH BURST)
Damion in the crowd-I will finish you next round
Toro-(yells out) NO I WILL BAKA
Gwyn- the eclipse training is starting right
Wakiya- yup
(Side note-the training is until episode twenty were the battle takes place in the ultimate arena)
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Jan. 04, 2022
Episode 16-the legends test
(They all go to wak I yas spaceship)
Xander-hey you guys
Toro-it’s xander!!!! He’s so cool
Damion-I wanna battle all the legends
Xander-you are gonna battle me and gwyn
Toro-us a team?!
Damion-idc I’m happy if a burst everyone
Gwyn-I need to see who did the supernova
(All launch)
(Xcalibur does a rush launch and has two swords now and they pop out)(titan tanks the hits)
Toro-tanked barrier!
Xander-hunter saber!
(They collide and titan goes flying)
(Genesis one shots devil)
Damion-I’m the champion though how Did I lose that
Gwyn-I’ll take on you guys
Willy-Toro!!!!
Toro- huh WAIT WILLY
Willy-I FOUND OUT WHATS HAPPENING!!
toro-ok but first wanna help us battle gwyn?
Willy-sure with my new bey blessing warrior
Everyone-321 go shoot
(Genesis burst them all in one hit)
Gwyn-did you guys even launch?
Damion-(walks away And finds dante with his sparking bey)Oi dante!!
Dante- oh what
Damion -battle me
Both-321 go shoot
Dante-dragon shoot!!!!!!!
Damion-cruel launch!!
(Dragon burst)(leader board pops up Damion sees he’s number one legend out of all of them)
Damion- gwyn a other test
Gwyn-sure
Both-3 2 1 GO SHOOT!!!!!!!!!
(Genesis gets hit two the wall and devil pushes it against wall)(devil gets hit by genesis and launches it out the stadium)
BotH-321 go shoot!!!!!
(Devil goes for center but genesis takes it and devil launches it out the stadium
RE: BEYBLADE burst solar system - Carma___bigbang - Jan. 06, 2022
Episode 17- big step phi vs mike pt 1
[mikes house]
(Mike making new bey)
Mike-sorry midas but I don’t need you anymore
Midas-I understand but make me to a stronger bey
Mike-I promise
Mike it’s done (shines) lunar magician
(Runs out side)
???-321 go shoot Dead break
Mike-phi I made a new bey
Phi-(perfect phenix glows) let’s battle
Both-321 go shoot!(mike does a side flip lands and spins then launches)(phi does his Cho ze tsu launch)
(Magician takes the center)(Phoenix goes for the hit)(magician avoids