(Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: I saw episode 6, and my characters name isn't Chelian, but you can use it as a nick name if you want, his name is probably Kemuri Fanesu if he is Japanese, if he's American, I would go with either Dean/Kyle as first name and his surname is maybe Florence.

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:16 AM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: Chinese being the first team is a little cliché, but it works, is there a main villain team?

(Nov. 28, 2014  4:03 PM)~Pegasus~ Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: I saw episode 6, and my characters name isn't Chelian, but you can use it as a nick name if you want, his name is probably Kemuri Fanesu if he is Japanese, if he's American, I would go with either Dean/Kyle as first name and his surname is maybe Florence.

Ok, I'll change that name

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(Nov. 28, 2014  9:16 AM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: Chinese being the first team is a little cliché, but it works, is there a main villain team?

Yes, Egypt

(Nov. 28, 2014  4:03 PM)~Pegasus~ Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: I saw episode 6, and my characters name isn't Chelian, but you can use it as a nick name if you want, his name is probably Kemuri Fanesu if he is Japanese, if he's American, I would go with either Dean/Kyle as first name and his surname is maybe Florence.

Ok, I'll change that name

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(Nov. 28, 2014  9:16 AM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: Chinese being the first team is a little cliché, but it works, is there a main villain team?

Yes, Egypt

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:10 PM)Spectral Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  4:03 PM)~Pegasus~ Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:14 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: I saw episode 6, and my characters name isn't Chelian, but you can use it as a nick name if you want, his name is probably Kemuri Fanesu if he is Japanese, if he's American, I would go with either Dean/Kyle as first name and his surname is maybe Florence.

Ok, I'll change that name

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(Nov. 28, 2014  9:16 AM)HolyPhoenix5 Wrote: Chinese being the first team is a little cliché, but it works, is there a main villain team?

Yes, Egypt

Do you mind changing it to something else? some people might get offended,I guess thats why there haven't been a evil "team" just an organization

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:12 PM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  9:10 PM)Spectral Wrote:

(Nov. 28, 2014  4:03 PM)~Pegasus~ Wrote: Ok, I'll change that name

---

Yes, Egypt

Do you mind changing it to something else? some people might get offended,I guess thats why there haven't been a evil "team" just an organization

So it's perfectly fine for Star Breakers being American and Demolition Boys being Russian, oh and not to mention Lovushca being cheaters but not Eygpt?

(Nov. 29, 2014  2:46 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: The issue I have with the characters is that they all use Japanese names, that's fine but shouldn't they have names which are something similar to what they represent? Instead all countries use japanese names.

(Nov. 29, 2014  3:01 AM)des!re Wrote:

(Nov. 29, 2014  2:46 AM)JinbeeTheShark Wrote: The issue I have with the characters is that they all use Japanese names, that's fine but shouldn't they have names which are something similar to what they represent? Instead all countries use japanese names.

I could change my characters name to something American, like DAMIAN HART! Just kidding, probably something like Aaron Wood, or some American name like that.

(Nov. 27, 2014  2:05 AM)~Pegasus~ Wrote: This is my first fan series, so correct me if necessary.

Season 1:

Spoiler (Click to View)

It has been 15 years since Zyro was around. Mikoto is the #1 blader in his school. He uses a beyblade named Shining Blazer B145(Blade145) MGF(Mini Grip Flat), which is an attack type. His friends are Ayano with his Cybernetic Drasco DF145FS(Balance type), Akina with her Supreme Hermes AD145WD(Stamina type), and Aki with his Lightfire Demon S130MB(Defense type).Mikoto wants to enter the World Beyblade Championship, which is now run by Kami Hysiko, the winner of the previous 5 World Beyblade Championships. Mikoto knows that it takes a lot to enter a tournament that big. But, one thing stops him when it is least expected...

Episode 1-Dream:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"Mikoto! Wait up, you dropped your beyblade!" Ayano yelled behind him.
Mikoto turned around and saw Shining Blazer clutched in Ayano's hand.
"Sorry about that, ya know," Mikoto apologized. "I was kind of in a hurry to enter for the World Beyblade Championship."
"Woah, are you talking about THE World Beyblade Championship, run by Kami Hysiko?"
"What else would I be talking about?"
"You know that you'll be going against top notch bladers, right?"
"Yes, you know that it's my dream to battle strong bladers."
"Yeah, and I have a dream about seeing my mom again someday."
"What was that story again about your mom?"
"One night my mom was drunk, like real bad. She went to a bey gamble bar where she used her Nightfall Skyra E230GCF. A tough dude challenged her to a fight, which she accepted. The guy was using Zyro's bey, Samurai Ifraid W145CF, but the face had a strange mark with a circle and a lightning bolt symbol inside of it, and the parts were all different shades of dark purple. My mom lost, and at that bar, there was only one rule: whoever loses would get sent to the hospital. Well, that's what happened to my mom. She got her leg broken, her spine broken, and fractured her skull."


"Go, Blazer, attack!" Mikoto yelled.
"Ah, too bad we can't use sway attackers anymore since they banned zero g stadiums, those things were beast." the opponent said.
Blazer went in for the kill. It stopped riding along the tornado ridge, and struck the center, where the opposing bey was. Blazer started to heat up, and the bey turned red.
"Special Move: Friction Blaze Blast!" Mikoto shouted.
Fire appeared all around the bey, creating a fire tornado. Flames rose higher and higher until it touched the ceiling. Blazer reached speed almost at the speed of light. In a split second, Blazer smashed the opposing bey, and it went out of the stadium.
"Yes! One more win until I can enter the Championship!"

...

Episode 2-Get Ready!:

Spoiler (Click to View)

Mikoto(Japan) was now officially entered into the championship. His friends, Ayano, Akina, and Aki were going to support him.He was entered with 7 other people. Akio (China) with his Darkfire Charon W105R2F, Akira (France)with his Supreme Gorgon WA130HF, Ami (Russia)with her Shining Harpy 85XF, Akiko (Korea)with her Extreme Scylla 145WD, Aoi (India)with his Midnight Arion 160SB, Daichi (Egypt)with his Roar Sphinx 105HF/S, and Warenai Kabe (USA)with his Omoi Biso M230RSD. This was going to be a hard championship. Mikoto had recieved a message that he would get free flights to tournament areas, and he could bring 3 people with him. It didn't even take a second for him to decide which 3.



"Ayano, Akina, Aki, wait up!" Mikoto shouted through the hallway.
"Yes?" Akina questioned.
"After I entered the championships-"
"Woah, you actually entered? Wow, that's so cool!" Ayano exclaimed.
"As I was saying...the people organizing announced that I was able to bring 3 friends along with my journey!"
"That better be us, bruh," Aki said.
"You better believe so. C'mon, flights tomorrow at 11am, get ready and don't be late! Catch ya later!" Mikoto ran down the hallway.

Episode 3-Flight:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"So, do you have any plan on what format they are going to play in?" Aki asked while in the plane.
"Probably Single Elimination, as it was in the past couple of tournaments," Mikoto responded.
"So, if you lose, you're out?"
"Basically,"
"Tough tournament,"
"Tough dream,"
As they rode on the plane to their first destination, China, a waiter approached the four of them. He explained the his name was (insert name), using the beyblade (insert bey). He had heard them overtalking about the tournament, and he want to help Mikoto. (insert name) explained how he took a bet on who would win, and he chose Japan. The person on the other side of the bet, who was Kami Hysiko, bet on the USA. (insert name) also explained how much money the bet was ($4,000,000).
"Woah, you bet $4,000,000 dollars on Mikoto!" Akina exclaimed.
"Well, that definitely doesn't put weight on my shoulders," Mikoto said.
"That's why I'm here to help you, I'll meet you at Gate 73, don't forget." (insert name) said.



"Yo, where is that guy?" Aki asked.
"Right here!" a hand appeared through the crowd in the gate.
The four ran to him.
"So what are we going to do?" Mikoto questioned.
"Practice," (insert name) replied as he picked up a BB10 attack type stadium, "C'mon."
"If ya say so,"
"3,2,1, Gooooo Shoot!" They shouted in unison as they launched their beys into the stadium.

Episode 4-Battle(Written by my dad, cookies to him. ^^, though very short)

Spoiler (Click to View)

Blazer roared around the stadium, like a predator getting ready to attack the prey. (insert bey) just stayed in the center, looking like a stamina or defense type. Now it was time for Blazer to strike. It ran off the tornado ridge, closing in on the center, ready for the final blow.
"Special Move: Friction Blaze Blast!" Mikoto shouted.
"Yes, I finally get to see your special move!" (insert name) yelled.
Blazer accelerated in the stadium, and seemed like a burning flame. Nothing could stop it from crushing any other beyblade. The flame was like moving all around stadium and nobody could tell where those beys were. Lightning speed, and all those beys disappeared all of a sudden.
"What happened?" (insert name) gasped.
"Our beys disappeared!" Mikoto exclaimed.

Episode 5-Revealing the Sabotage!:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"What are we going to do now, (insert name)?" Mikoto asked. "Our beys disappeared!"
"Hehe, Mikoto," (insert name) whispered. "That was my plan all along. The American team shall win now..."
"Who sent you, (insert me)!" Mikoto shouted. "You fool, your beyblade is also gone."
"Are you that idiotic, that was a weak bey that i used." (insert name) explained. "Here is my real bey..."
(insert name) pulled out a bey out of his pocket named Gleaming Odysseus G230(Glare230)TD(Tall Defense). Then, a man who was strong and bulky came behind him and put his hand around his neck.
"Good job, (insert name)," the man said.
"Who are you?" Mikoto asked.
"Terribly sorry, I'm USA's representative, Warenai Kabi, we'll be meeting soon," Warenai explained.
"You two came hear to sabotage us, (insert name)?" Mikoto questioned.
"Not just us two..." (insert name) said.
"Hi, my name is Kyle Florence, the other representative for USA." Kyle explained.
"Wait, there are two representatives?" Mikoto asked.
"Yes, it has just been announced by Kami Hysiko," Kyle explained.
Mikoto turned around to his friends, "I'll have to choose Aki, as he is the most skilled, is that ok?"
"Fine by me, I'll probably slow you down," Ayano said.
"Same here, but make sure that you're safe" Akina said.
"Well if I'm your partner, we have to get back Shining Blazer." Aki responded.

Episode 6-Blazer's Return:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"Mmhmmm....Mmhmmm...." Kyle talked on the phone.
"What is the news, Kyle?" Mikoto asked.
"Looks like my supervisor has spared you, he just wanted to show you his power."
"Who is your supervisor?"
"That is a story for another time, boy."
A bey appeared in Warenai's hand, "Good luck tomorrow in the tournament..."
"Same to you, you are going against France, correct?" Mikoto asked.
"Yes,"



That night at the hotel, Aki and Mikoto trained and trained. Their beys clashed so hard that Akina had to repair them 27 times. Though Lightfire Demon was a defense type, it could fight back like an attack type. Mikoto had also discovered new special moves, such as Flaming Wheel of Desruction, and Blue Flames of Heaven.
"Tomorrow is the tournament against China, are you guys ready?" Akina asked.
"Not quite," Aki and Mikoto replied in unison.
"What do you mean?" Akina asked
"We need to work on a special move for Aki, ya see," Mikoto explained.
"How about a popular special move like Demonic Shadow Smash?" Akina suggested.
"I'll try it out right now!" Aki said.
"3," Mikoto shouted.
"2," Aki said
"1," they said in unison. "Gooooo Shoot!"
Demon stayed in the center, though Mikoto knew that it would attack any second. Blazer kept on running along the tornado ridge, staying alert. In a split second, Demon started spinning towards Blazer.
"Special Move: Demonic Shadow Smash!" Aki yelled.
Demon glowed a dark shade of purple, and created a large shadow over Blazer. All of a second, Blazer went flying out of the stadium, into the air.
"Not so fast!" Mikoto shouted. "Special Move: Blue Flames of Heaven!"
Shining Blazer suddenly appeared from nowhere, and smashed Lightfire Demon straight out of the stadium.
"Haha, still not good enough, my friend!" Mikoto laughed.

Episode 7-Overdrive:

Spoiler (Click to View)

"Here, today we have our intense battle between the two main representatives of Japan and China, Mikoto and Akio!" The announcer spoke.
It was finally time for the tournament. They were at the main stage, and there was no turning back now.
"3,2,1, Goooooo Shoot!" everybody shouted together.
Blazer entered the stadium, fiercer than before. Akio used a combo named Darkfire Charon W105R2F, obviously an attack type. It circled around the stadium, closing in on Blazer. In a second, Charon smashed into Blazer's crystal wheel, and Blazer went flying. For some reason, Darkfire Charon seemed to accelerate faster. Also, the bey circled right. Was the bey left spin?
"Go, Blazer, Special Move: Friction Blaze Blast!" Mikoto yelled.
Blazer went head on against Charon, but it didn't do anything...
Out in the crowd, Akina analyzed Mikoto's Blazer. There seemed to be a giant crack in the Chrome Wheel.
"Mikoto, stop fighting! Blazer is dying!" Akina yelled.
"I know he can take it!" Mikoto said back.
In a split second, a great red light cast over the arena.
"What is this?" Akio questioned.
Then, Blazer's Chrome Wheel started to crack, revealing the red light. Finally, the outer shell broke off, and created a new bey: Shining Blazer: Overdrive. The red light started to die down, but Blazer: Overdrive was active as ever.
"Yeah, let's do this!" Mikoto yelled.
Blazer again hit head on against Charon, but this time it dealed damage like never before. Charon went flying into the sky.
"Charon, Special Move: Guide to the Underworld!" Akio yelled.
It seemed like a black fire appeared from the sky, and crashed on to Blazer. Charon grinded Blazer, creating sparks around the bey. But, Charon couldn't take it anymore. It couldn't hold one second longer. Charon went flying on to the side of the stadium, wobbling uncontrollably. Mikoto knew that this was his one moment to win the match.
"Overdrive Move: Flaming Friction Smash!" Mikoto yelled.
Blazer went berserk around the stadium, but then aimed straight at Charon with flames blazing around the bey. In a split second, sparks of different colors sprouted from the collision, and Charon went flying into a wall.
"Yes, I did it!" Mikoto laughed.

Tell me if you like this series, or dislike it. Is there any improvements I should add? Are the episodes long enough?