(Jul. 18, 2021  1:59 PM)Demon Belial Wrote: Now I'm gonna call him Laban of Lasagna. lol

(Jul. 17, 2021  9:43 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: This was a good chapter I’ll rate!

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Grammar: 3/5 I noticed some mistakes like you didn’t put punctuations on some of the words.

Length: 3.5/5 it wasn’t short short but it was like long but you can improve

Characters: 5/5 : You really brought them to life and I feel like you aiced Laban!

Diolouge: 4.2/5

Overall:  15/20 you could do better really just need a tad bit more work!

(Jul. 18, 2021  2:16 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote:

(Jul. 18, 2021  1:59 PM)Demon Belial Wrote: Now I'm gonna call him Laban of Lasagna. lol

lol

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(Jul. 17, 2021  9:43 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: This was a good chapter I’ll rate!

---

Grammar: 3/5 I noticed some mistakes like you didn’t put punctuations on some of the words.

Length: 3.5/5 it wasn’t short short but it was like long but you can improve

Characters: 5/5 : You really brought them to life and I feel like you aiced Laban!

Diolouge: 4.2/5

Overall:  15/20 you could do better really just need a tad bit more work!

Thanks, I'm gonna make the next chapter more great.

(Jul. 18, 2021  4:36 PM)Demon Belial Wrote:

(Jul. 18, 2021  2:16 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote: lol

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Thanks, I'm gonna make the next chapter more great.

Is Drake gonna beat Phi?

(Jul. 18, 2021  5:09 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: Nice fic, I have something to say:
That's the full messy explanation

Spoiler (Click to View)

Baldur has another weakness, it's a "stronger" weakness but it can help I think. If you slam into baldur fast enough it could be KOed in one hit, because there's "two hits":
- the spin hit, it's when you hit the bey using your spin.
- the force hit, when a bey slam into the other, pushing (or pulling idk the word, what i mean is sending it away) it.

The spin hit is affected by stamina, the more faster you spin, better. While the force hit uses the impact made by the movement of the bey. To put things simple, imagine when valkyrie hit wyvern and it moves from the center, that's the force hit.
Now, you might be thinking: what it has to do with all of this? Well, the force hit can make a bey burst, actually that's the type of hit that makes opposite spin beys burst better (slow-mo burst is an exception), but it also deals damage to same spin.

That's the summary, It's better if you read the spoiler above first.

Spoiler (Click to View)

Conclusion: If you aim straight to the middle of Baldur with enough speed you can, in theory, KO Baldur. The only catch being the extreme loss of stamina. If baldur has weak teeth because of... Well, it's amazing defense to balance things out, then it could even burst
(Sidenote: it's the same weakness from tornado and jet wyvern, both having the same gimmick, tho it is as effective)

If it is all a mess, tell me and I'll edit it.

(Jul. 18, 2021  5:25 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote:

(Jul. 18, 2021  5:09 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: Nice fic, I have something to say:
That's the full messy explanation

Spoiler (Click to View)

Baldur has another weakness, it's a "stronger" weakness but it can help I think. If you slam into baldur fast enough it could be KOed in one hit, because there's "two hits":
- the spin hit, it's when you hit the bey using your spin.
- the force hit, when a bey slam into the other, pushing (or pulling idk the word, what i mean is sending it away) it.

The spin hit is affected by stamina, the more faster you spin, better. While the force hit uses the impact made by the movement of the bey. To put things simple, imagine when valkyrie hit wyvern and it moves from the center, that's the force hit.
Now, you might be thinking: what it has to do with all of this? Well, the force hit can make a bey burst, actually that's the type of hit that makes opposite spin beys burst better (slow-mo burst is an exception), but it also deals damage to same spin.

That's the summary, It's better if you read the spoiler above first.

Spoiler (Click to View)

Conclusion: If you aim straight to the middle of Baldur with enough speed you can, in theory, KO Baldur. The only catch being the extreme loss of stamina. If baldur has weak teeth because of... Well, it's amazing defense to balance things out, then it could even burst
(Sidenote: it's the same weakness from tornado and jet wyvern, both having the same gimmick, tho it is as effective)

If it is all a mess, tell me and I'll edit it.

I never thought about that.... But about weak teeth's... It has Atomic' so it's harder to burst it. And even if Baldur is moved away from centre, then the atomic driver will help it to keep it's momentum. And the 10 disc increases Knock-out resistance and also is great for stamina. But I never thought about the slam thing.

(Jul. 18, 2021  5:25 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote:

(Jul. 18, 2021  5:09 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: Nice fic, I have something to say:
That's the full messy explanation

Spoiler (Click to View)

Baldur has another weakness, it's a "stronger" weakness but it can help I think. If you slam into baldur fast enough it could be KOed in one hit, because there's "two hits":
- the spin hit, it's when you hit the bey using your spin.
- the force hit, when a bey slam into the other, pushing (or pulling idk the word, what i mean is sending it away) it.

The spin hit is affected by stamina, the more faster you spin, better. While the force hit uses the impact made by the movement of the bey. To put things simple, imagine when valkyrie hit wyvern and it moves from the center, that's the force hit.
Now, you might be thinking: what it has to do with all of this? Well, the force hit can make a bey burst, actually that's the type of hit that makes opposite spin beys burst better (slow-mo burst is an exception), but it also deals damage to same spin.

That's the summary, It's better if you read the spoiler above first.

Spoiler (Click to View)

Conclusion: If you aim straight to the middle of Baldur with enough speed you can, in theory, KO Baldur. The only catch being the extreme loss of stamina. If baldur has weak teeth because of... Well, it's amazing defense to balance things out, then it could even burst
(Sidenote: it's the same weakness from tornado and jet wyvern, both having the same gimmick, tho it is as effective)

If it is all a mess, tell me and I'll edit it.

I never thought about that.... But about weak teeth's... It has Atomic' so it's harder to burst it. And even if Baldur is moved away from centre, then the atomic driver will help it to keep it's momentum. And the 10 disc increases Knock-out resistance and also is great for stamina. But I never thought about the slam thing.

(Jul. 19, 2021  10:34 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Nice! Your good at making summaries

(Jul. 19, 2021  10:45 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Just did man your good at making systems than me (obviously)

(Jul. 19, 2021  10:51 AM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote:

(Jul. 19, 2021  10:45 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Just did man your good at making systems than me (obviously)

Actually the system was worse but I decided to add more parts to make it more good. Superior to Sparking Beys actually.(VS system rivals DB system)

(Jul. 19, 2021  11:57 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Cool is this like a theme song?

(Jul. 19, 2021  11:59 AM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote:

(Jul. 19, 2021  11:57 AM)LegendJustice Wrote: Cool is this like a theme song?

It's from Yakuza 0.

(Jul. 19, 2021  12:15 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote: Chapter 8 is coming in 5-10 minutes

(Jul. 19, 2021  12:17 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote:

(Jul. 19, 2021  12:15 PM)Kiryu Kazuma Wrote: Chapter 8 is coming in 5-10 minutes

I think you meant chapter 9