(Mar. 10, 2020  8:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote:

(Mar. 10, 2020  3:03 AM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Just an update on my writing.

I don’t work on this any more right now. I find it hard to do it at home because of school and other things. But if I can do this at school, I would have constant chapters coming out.

But for now, I can share my current writing project that I like writing. Of course, only if you’re interested. I’m only at Chapter three, so I’m not gonna post these Chapters fast as lightning (cue Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas) but instead, post one every time I finish one, until I finish.

Thanks for reading this and lemme know if you want to read my other writing project.

doing Chapters/Episodes is not that hard to do during school, that is what ive been doing with the previous episodes of Generations

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:32 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:27 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: doing Chapters/Episodes is not that hard to do during school, that is what ive been doing with the previous episodes of Generations

I could get caught at any second, and I don’t have much time at school.

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:33 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote:

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:32 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: I could get caught at any second, and I don’t have much time at school.

fair point.

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:34 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:

(Mar. 10, 2020  8:33 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: fair point.

Nice profile picture. Jedi Knight Revan. Darth Revan is also cool too.

(Mar. 10, 2020  10:38 PM)Koala Spriggan Wrote: I absolutely adore Orb Egis. Please use Evel again some time.

---

And yes, Darth Revan is one of my favorite star wars characters.

(Apr. 23, 2020  9:12 PM)N12N12 Wrote: loved that story.

(Aug. 22, 2020  4:28 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: BuilderROB Alright, Story Critic, let’s see what you give this awful story.

(Aug. 22, 2020  4:51 PM)BuilderROB Wrote:

(Aug. 22, 2020  4:28 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: BuilderROB Alright, Story Critic, let’s see what you give this awful story.

Ok then. Don’t expect me to go easy though.

Grammar: 3/5 (How the dialogue is formatted doesn’t count here)
Story: 1/5
Characters: 1/5
Dialogue: 2/5
Length: 1/5

Total: 8/25

This was...painful to read. Grammar wise, there were many run-on sentences, which lowered the score. The last few chapters did remedy your dialogue score by one point, but the majority of the chapters with the dialogue...was painful. Dialogue was all smashed together into one paragraph, along with the story. The characters were pretty one sided, and were simply excited to Beyblade and nothing else it felt like. Length was also awful, not even being more than a couple paragraphs worth in most chapters. The story was also virtually nonexistent. There was no story for the majority of the fan fiction and it was simply Roan and Colin battling other people. They had no goal whatsoever it felt like.