The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 21, 2021
Okay, so I was writing a book for a year, and now I think I can share it here.
Summary: Long Ago, they were Two Orders which sustained Order in The Universes. One, The Order of Light, the Other, The Dark Order. Both orders warred much, never able to sustain true peace. In one Last Battle, the Two Orders clashed, and both the Orders collapsed. None but one escaped, who was Quan Roth, the leader of the Dark Order. But, the Order of the Light, in their last moment, collected their mana and formed a mighty spell which created the Six Entities. Each Entity has power over an element, except for Six.
Prolouge:
The creation of the Six Entities was a beautiful scene, although full of dangers, for the first time in a long time there was hope.
The first to be created was One, the earth itself bending rippling like water to make a sculpture of a man so pristine, the sculpture came to life. One’s first word was Earth, and his power was based on Earth too. To commemorate his birth a mountain was born where he stood and thus One was ready.
Next came Two, water slithering from the ground like a snake combining into streams than rivers, and finally the fluid condensed into a man. Who said Water. The gift his birth gave to the world was the cycle that let water flow, the water cycle. His qi was fluid like water, and he could communicate with it.
Third came Three, the heat was so strong everyone had to look away to live. The heat merged with even more heat, making everyone take a step back to survive the scorching fire which ended up as the most beautiful woman in all of existence, Who said Fire.
Fourth came Four, the air twisting, churning so fast a tornado came into being. This tornado was the largest one for millions of years. The storm grew and grew and grew and suddenly, it shrunk, becoming faster as it grew smaller and in a flourish, came another woman. She was a lot kinder and had a much better temper than the other Entities. And she said Air. She helped the whole world breathe with a sigh of relief.
Fifth came five, no words can describe how he came to be, lightning, light, all the elements coming together sharing qi to make him the leader of them all. His first words were “Let there be light”. He gave them hope, for life and death, for growth and change, for something new.
Then for last, came the strongest one of all. Pulling everyone’s souls, mind, and body. Coming together perfectly, but having no inherited magic abilities, unlike the other Entities. The qi came together creating a Mind of powerful Talent. Then, a small spark of life emerged. This Entity was the blessed one. He had no limits, but he had to work hard in order to reach the peak.
Each of these Entities had a type of energy that allowed them to use that Qi for the same type of magic with much less Qi. Their real strength was the unique energy that made them much stronger than other Cultivators. At least, that was the case for all of them but Six.
When you give one hope and take it away, problems shall be made. Everyone mocked him and shunned him. The hate blew away Six’s first word from the minds and ears of all. The best one had failed. Six had failed. His gift was not worthy of the power he was supposed to have. He gave them nothing, not powerful enough to even light a candle without a match.
RE: (Series Name) The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (My Book) - JCE_13 - Apr. 21, 2021
Very good! You caught my eye!
RE: (Series Name) The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (My Book) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 21, 2021
JCE_13, how come you read this whole thing in less than 2 minutes?
(Apr. 21, 2021 3:32 PM)JCE_13 Wrote: Very good! You caught my eye!
Um I re read it and caught a few mistakes.
RE: (Series Name) The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (My Book) - JCE_13 - Apr. 21, 2021
4 Minutes. I'm a fast reader.
RE: (Series Name) The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (My Book) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 21, 2021
Chapter 1: Six’s Rage
All that the Six Entities knew about their predecessors were that they had created them. They believed it was beyond their imagination and abilities. The Order of the Light somehow granted the Six Entities the power of the Elements.
The Entities created an idea of eternal hope. Those ideas eventually became an era of enlightenment and peace. But, sadly the time could not last. In the flawless Golden Era, a small crack appeared. The Sixth Entity, the Ant, was all but forgotten. Mocked to the point he had no reputation. The anger in Entity Six started to grow. One day, the humiliation was too much, he left his fellow Entities.
Thing Six’s anger twisted his mind down to strange paths, taking him to discover secrets that were so dark, that even the most courageous beings feared them. His anger was not the actual reason: The Entities thought of him as one leaf in a mountain of trees. No one had treated him with respect; for that reason, he had sought any living being that could grant him power.
Even in the best of times, there is always something that would spread darkness. Entity Six, while searching for power, found that something. It looked like a person with a black cloak but its power was so great, it repelled all good.
The dangers were obvious but Six craved for power. He went to meet It.
“I can give you all that you desire. For it all that you need to give me is your willingness to enter my apprenticeship”, said the mysterious dark figure. Its voice itself was so powerful that it started to ebb on Six’s life force. The voice in a way was so entrancing, that it went through the deepest part of his being and forced Entity Six to do his bidding.
Then without a warning, the dark figure said, “Let me show you something.”
He pulsed through Qi making a strange and dark spirit that lingered just long enough to make out the figure of a Dragon. It was not just like a Dragon, it was the spirit of a Dragon. The power that the mysterious person held was more than Six could imagine.
This was when Entity Six realized that this person was more powerful than maybe even Five. He remembered researching dangerous Martial Experts, the strongest of these legendary experts could manipulate magic itself, and bind the living, and dead to them. These immensely powerful beings usually bound Dragons to themselves to get the magic as Dragons had the strongest magic. That's when Entity Six knew without a doubt that if he entered the apprenticeship then he would become incredibly powerful.
Then, Entity Six said, “Yes, I will become your disciple. I want to become powerful- I want the world to burn for mocking me. I will wage war overall Realms until I become the Lord of Them All.”
Quan Roth grinned, as he knew that this is exactly what he wanted. He wanted his disciple to have great talent and first of all, ambition and determination. He would achieve what he wanted. It would take centuries, but he would succeed.
Posting the Cultivation System and a bunch of other stuff.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - TheGolden Blade - Apr. 22, 2021
I love this fanfic (Btw you're getting added to my next episode in my fanfic)
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 22, 2021
I'll post some important things tommorow
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 23, 2021
Look two posts below for this cultivation stuff
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - i'm batman - Apr. 23, 2021
Honestly, this could be an RPG. Loving it.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 24, 2021
So two posts above the book stuff I posted was kinda un readable, so I'll repost it.
Cultivation System and Levels:
Cultivation Levels
You cultivate by following/creating Cultivation Arts/Skills/Scriptures, each Arts/Skills/Scriptures leans towards a certain energy and style. Such as the Dark Immortal’s scriptures lean toward Dark & Shadow energy and focus on magic.
Mortal Realm
In this realm, people start circulating and try to reduce Energy loss while channeling. Energy seeps into flesh making people stronger.
Human Stage- New cultivator, just progressing in the Path of Cultivation
Stellar Stage- Huge Progression, able to control Qi and Mana more efficiently. One can mold Qi and Mana to attack and defend.
Expert Stage- Expert, implementing and learning Cultivation Knowledge through Scrolls and Scriptures, absorbing all types of Qi
Master Stage- Masters Basic Qi Manipulation and Power, and absorption.
Titan Realm
In the Titan Realm, you begin to condense your energy into a sphere called the Golden Core, This core has a lot of energy and can perform increasingly powerful versions of your attacks.
Human Stage- Started forging through Titan Realm
Expert Stage- Becomes Expert at building and using the Golden Core
Kombat Stage- Kombat Stage is when Titan Realm cultivators can fight with Qi like it's a extension of their own body. People who fail this stage but progress to Earth Realm will be weaker than other cultivators who have mastered this stage. One should definitely master this stage.
Earth Realm
Consolidates your martial skills, cultivation, and core to form a Nascent Soul, which can perform attacks, scout outside your body and enter the Astral Plane to help your own spirit and mind.
Astral Plane - Astral Plane is an illusionary, stand-alone space. It had existed forever and only those with a cultivation of the Earth Realm who had a Nascent Soul could access it. That being said, no one knew why the Astral Plane existed in the1 first place. Earth Realm Experts can not enter the place with their flesh, but only with their will. Therefore, upon entering the space, everyone's cultivation, Martial Skills, Weapon Arts, and presence of their will would be concealed.
Human stage- Just started Going through Earth Realm
Kollasal stage- Consoling Energy and Soul/Spirit to be able to go to Astral Realm
Astral stage- Can reach into Astral Realm
Celestial Realm
Nascent Soul combines with Martial Arts, Mind, Body Strength to ascend to a Primordial Spirit, through which if cultivators body is destroyed Primordial Spirit is Sacrificed to revive in Mortal Celestial Realm, or possibly at max Titan Earth Realm
Human Stage- Just started
Expert Stage- Becomes Expert, finished forging Primordial Spirit
Nascent Stage- Nascent Soul progresses and becomes more powerful
Immortal Realm
Can now ascend to Higher Worlds, and traverse through other worlds + Huge Increase in all attributes. Lower Worlds require immense energy to travel into so that Immortals don’t destroy the worlds. They get suppressed to a certain degree of power. But, there are many holes in this Law. Immortals have found ways to widen the holes and sneak through them.
Immortal Beast Realm-
This gives a huge boost in strength. The ability to understand, create and perform martial attacks/techniques advances to a whole another level. In the process, the cultivation skills the cultivator has learned, the amount of Mana and Qi the cultivator has and has to combine a core with it. For example, if a cultivator manages to progress a star (starlight extremity), and Zibran, they have to combine that with the amount of Mana and Qi and cultivation skills. Either way, you have to be a Peerless Genius in order to reach this cultivation realm. You already know the dangers for being a Peerless Genius. The amount of Qi and Mana you have can change the outcome of your power level. Having a good amount of energy is important. The more proficient you are with Cultivation Skills, amount of Mana and Qi, and the more you use your Extremities proficiently, is the amount of power you will have in Immortal Beast Realm. All of that combines into a core. It is called Beast Core. That core is the source of most of your power in Immortal Beast Realm.
The Extremities
The Extremities
You can master these to increase your strength to above others of the same realm as you.
Usually boost a certain aspect of anything, and are extremely difficult to achieve.
These are very difficult to achieve though, and the failure punishment is quite high
It should be known that one cannot ascend as an immortal without at least 1 of these.
People that master one of these are called Exceptional Geniuses*
People that master two of these are called Peerless Geniuses*
More? There hasn’t been a single person to master 2 in 400 years! Let alone more.
*Below Immortal Realm or Celestial Earth Realm -- Not Decided
The Starlight -
Boosts
Achieving Starlight Greatly strengthens your Mind’s Defenses and Strength to the point that psychic attacks are immensely stronger when used by a master, and psychic attacks at a master are significantly reduced.
How to Achieve
You Achieve Starlight by Focusing your Mind into a single point. This is almost always done by meditation, a single stray thought could be fatal.. This would gather your entire Mind’s Energy into a single point known as the Star.
Fail Punishments
Failing in the process could make you go mad or break your mind.
The Quake -
Boosts
Achieving Quake Greatly increases your raw strength. If you have achieved this and are in Titan Realm you can cause natural disasters with your strength. That’s why it’s named Quake.
How to Achieve
You Achieve Quake by breaking the Strength Core inside of you. The Strength Core is very durable and increases in strength with your cultivation so no matter what cultivation you are breaking your own Strength Core is very Difficult. The Strength Core acts as a dam for the power of the Quake.
Fail Punishments
Failing while trying to achieve it will divert all your energy to shattering your bones, cultivation, and potentially cripple you for life.
The Zibran
Boosts
Achieving the Zibran is unique. There are multiple versions of the Zibran. Each Weapon has its own Zibran. Sword has a different Zibran than Spear, Spear different from Mace, etc. You can achieve multiple Zibrans. Zibran gives you extreme mastery of blade if you didn’t have it before and allows you to channel energy through weapons much faster, easier, the energy you channel in your weapon is heavily amplified.
How to Achieve
You achieve this by training beyond your own limits, breaking yourself and reforging yourself to be One With the Weapon.
Fail Punishments
Failing the reforging process could disable you for life, but this does not have as harsh a penalty for failing as others.
Being Disabled does not prevent you from cultivating. In fact, a few Titan experts were actually disabled.
The Xia -
Boosts
Achieving Xia tremendously increases your Energy in all aspects. Purity, Density, Channeling Speed, all increase and so does your control over your energy. This is amazing for increasing cultivation speed above all else. The dense energy can easily break through the featherlike energy of non-Xia masters.
How to Achieve
You achieve this by fusing your cultivation level and Qi together -- It sounds easy but isn’t.
Fail Punishments
Failing the Fusion will cause your energy to become unstable, crippling you, and potentially killing you.
Transcendent Flames -
Boosts
This Extremity is the most mysterious of all the Extremities. Only 5 known individuals have been able to achieve this. When one achieves Transcendent Flames, the Soul Qi of a person tremendously increases, with the ability to manipulate Soul Qi. Transcendent Flames increase eyesight and concentration. It also increases stealth, reflexes, and cultivation techniques’ powers. A weapon constructed by Soul Qi and Transcendent Flames is a weapon which directly harms the mind and the soul.
How to Achieve
In order to Achieve this, one must seek the guidance and the divine blessings of the Transcendent Saint. The Transcendent Saint will test your abilities and cultivate a way for you to absorb Transcendent Insight, an insight only the 5 individuals who mastered Transcendent Flames and the Transcendent Saint himself. When enough Transcendent Insight has been absorbed, the insight must be molded into a membrane around the Soul.
Fail Punishments
Failing the Fusion will, without any pain, make you dissolve into transcendent insight.
The Three Worlds, Languages, Martial Arts Info etc.
The Three Worlds:
Arda- Beautiful World, with many species (will share next chapter)
The Depths- Only one island, 99.5 percent of the World is water and lands that sunk
Shadowrealm- A realm where shadow monsters and evil beings sealed inside long ago
Languages, Magic, and Martial Info
Magic uses cultivation energy called Qi or combinations of Qi, which is Mana.
Magic allows you to trade energy (you get better deals for different types of energy) to alter the aspects of the world for a change.
For Example - You gain an equal amount of energy in your body when you give up a certain amount to make yourself stronger, or trading 1 dantians Fire energy will get you more fire than 2 dantians of water energy.
Languages Info -
So there will be a main language for each world, and countless secondary race/tribal languages.
Arda - English
The Depths Creatures - Blûbil
Shadow Realm Creatures - Dalin
Qi -
Types of Qi
- Earth, Water, Fire, Air, Darkness, Light, Dimension, Lightning, Void, and Soul
Earth Qi -
Absorbed from the ground, This Qi is rigid and hard to manipulate. It’s usually absorbed at a slower rate than most other Qi’s, but it’s benefits are palpable. It has an extremely strong defense, and is difficult to bend making it one of the more physically strong elements. Earth is a slow element, but a powerful one. For example, when someone sends a powerful spell at you, you can use Earth Qi in order to construct a wall around to defend yourself.
Water Qi -
Water Qi is absorbed from moisture, and liquid. Able to be used as shields, transport, and attacks, water is surprisingly versatile.Offensive Water Qi is unusual as it doesn’t directly attack the body. It is more like a virus. It finds a way to break or a flaw through and then attacks like a snake. Water’s defense is sort of like a sponge. Although not as powerful or useful as Earth defense, it can absorb blunt force impacts really well. Water in transport can be used as a sort of waterfall.
Fire Qi -
Fire Qi is highly aggressive and harder to control then some other Qi types. Fire Qi is used primarily for offensive, and is incredible in terms of heat and growability. Compared to others fire tries to spread and grow without a cultivator directly affecting it. Fire Qi compared to other qi also reacts strongly to All types of Qi.
Air Qi -
Air is a force that is able to move anything in its path. It can be used for offense and defense. For w, if someone attacks you with fire, you can use fire Qi to just move it to another direction. For offense, you can create a storm, or you can just push Air Qi toward your enemy, resulting in the enemy sent flying.
Darkness Qi -
Darkness is not a substance, it’s an absence of light. Unlike most other qi's, Darkness Qi is almost impossible to collect. It can only be found in the Deepest of places with the least of light and is almost easy to expel with light !i. Darkness Qi does bring amazing benefits though. It can be easily used to hide your presence, Darkness Qi can be used to restrict others cultivation, although it is incredibly strenuous to do so. Darkness can attach itself to other substances/weapons/things and strengthen them. Darkness is more of a supporting qi. Albeit, an extremely powerful one.
Light Qi -
Light is omnipresent and so is it’s qi. Light is almost the exact opposite of Darkness. It amplifies your presence and allows you to be known to all. Light is incredibly fast and so is this qi. It can be sent as rays that attack your opponent, or can be used to expel darkness energy. Light Element overall is really only useful against the undead, and darkness qi.
Dimension Qi -
An unusual Qi, Dimension Qi is only found in between worlds and is impossible to collect for cultivators below Celestial Realm. (I think this should also be found in the Astral Plane). This Qi has properties that have not been found out yet, but it has been known to be able to block most Martial Skills
Lightning Qi -
Similar to Fire Qi, Lightning Qi is aggressive and hard to tame. Yet still, almost every cultivator tries to gain some because of its pure offensive power. Lightning Qi is usually offensive, but it grows exponentially the more qi there is. It’s unique in this respect.
Void Qi -
Space and Time are fundamental parts of the world. Rarely do they ever release energy and even more rarely is that energy weak enough to be absorbed. Void Qi’s rarity is that normally it is too thick, and dense for most cultivators to absorb. Therefore, only cultivators that are extremely talented, are able to get even a little of this qi. Not only is this qi also powerful it is also versatile. This Qi can support you by speeding up your perception, allow you to practically teleport, slow your opponents perception and speed, and you can also use it as a force practically like a solid object due to its density. Not everything is known about the Qi though, and there are still mysteries to be found.
Soul Qi -
The Soul is a very important part of the mind and body. It is incredibly important to cultivators more so than even their martial arts and their cultivation level. A good soul is the dividing line between good cultivators and bad cultivators. Even if a person with a bad soul gets immense resources he would never become stronger than a person with a strong soul. It is possible to strengthen your soul with soul qi, and special martial arts. Soul Qi is different though, it is sort of like the energy of the soul, but what's different is the energy you take from the soul for some reason does not really affect the soul in any way. The soul and soul qi are also mysterious, but it is a miracle so much has been found out about it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mana
Mana is the combination of 2 or more types of qi.
There are hundreds of possibilities as there are also ratios of qi to be factored in. More Darkness Qi then Light Qi will lead to Shadow Mana, and more Light Qi then Dark Qi will create Silver Mana, and equal amounts Light Qi and Dark Qi will create Gray Qi.
Finding/Creating Mana:
Mana is everywhere similar to Qi. Mana is found in nature or one could combine different types of Qi, which creates Mana. But first, One’s understanding of all the principles of Qi should be mastered.
Some Types of Mana:
Known Manas -
Gray Mana: Is known for its unusual properties this Mana is hard to create as it combines two opposing forces.
Shadow Mana: Exceptionally good at hiding one’s presence, even more so than Darkness Qi. Silver Mana: Not commonly used, but this Mana is unusually good at repelling Grey Mana, and Darkness Qi.
Gem Mana: A combination of multiple types of Mana, this mana is almost unbreakable and much stronger than Earth Qi at defense, but isn’t found often.
Metal Mana: This Mana bends but never breaks, it is often condensed to create and be infused into weapons.
Sky Mana: Mana of the Wind and Water, This Mana is meant for speed and can also be used to manipulate weather (requires immense energy)
Formations
Formations are special setups using magical/rare materials that can do many things.
Some formations can store nature’s energy, some can use your own energy to perform spells and things of the like.
Formations can be traps, or help the maker in cultivating.
Formations require magic or rare materials to be placed in a certain way, and activated using energy.
Materials used to make a formation can affect the formation, if the materials used to make a formation is fire - related the formation will be stronger in fire related things. Higher Quality materials can also increase a formations grade.
Martial Skills -
There are many types of martial Skills.
There are arts like Weapon Arts (Sword Arts, Saber Arts, etc), Fist Arts, and Elemental Arts.
There are Cultivation Boosting Skills like - Body Strengthening Skills, and Energy Skills (Energy Density, Energy Flow, Energy Manipulation Skills)
There are also a few rare magic skills including Elemental Skills, Mind Strengthening, Spirit Boosting, some uncommon Mind Attacks, and another whole host of versalite different skills.
Weapon Arts
Most Weapon Arts allow you to channel energy through weapons and Some Experts you can create their own weapons with energy.
Some Weapon Arts help you use your weapon properly or unleash the intent of the weapon.
An example of the intent is the sword being used and the slash extends in length the extension is the intent. Intent can come outside the sword as well. Intent is a form of Weapon Energy.
Weapon Arts that you channel energy through can affect the weapon itself. Like Making a sword burst into flames with Fire Energy.
Weapon Arts that use Intents can have basically a weapon's own internal energy.
Higher Grade weapons can do more with intents and survive the energy usage better.
DeltaZakuro, Dragon Blader Z, i'm batman, JCE_13, kai edits, pika2442, Pixi, TheGolden Blade
Please share thoughts, questions, suggestions that you guys have.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Dragon Blader Z - Apr. 24, 2021
Just a quick question what is this about?
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 24, 2021
(Apr. 24, 2021 6:13 PM)Dragon Blader Z Wrote: Just a quick question what is this about?
Bruh if you didn't know, why did you click a option on the poll?
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Dragon Blader Z - Apr. 24, 2021
Now I remember sorry for saying that
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 24, 2021
(Apr. 24, 2021 7:43 PM)Dragon Blader Z Wrote: Now I remember sorry for saying that
lol it's ok. I don't think you remember.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - pika2442 - Apr. 25, 2021
seems really cool!
ill definitely read this one!
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 25, 2021
Chapter 2: Arda
Meanwhile on Ciomos,
The other Five Entities decided to work on their world which they called Arda. They had found an energy source of pure Mana in Ciomos, and they decided to use it to alter the planet they called Arda. They decided to alter the world to help make it fit for life. Entity One installed with the help of Entity Three made the planet’s inner core, outer core, mantle, crust and a few landforms like Mountains and other physical barriers. Entity Two made the sea’s and underwater, and other above water landforms. Entity Four gave the world a necessity of life, Air. Entity Five, however being the most powerful and majestic Entity of all of six, gave the world all of the Mana, or magical energy left in the crystals to help the races grow themselves. Sadly, this meant the Entities weren’t as powerful anymore. Soon after though, complex life came to the world first as dwarves.
Dwarves were a tough race. They were the ones who crafted and built most of the structures of the world. They were very strong, and were esteemed blacksmiths. Their great endurance, stamina, strength and resistance to heat made it perfect for them to be good or even legendary Blacksmiths if they put their minds to it. They were stubborn and had great strength of will, although not as sharp as other races.
The next race to come were the Dragons and Wyverns. These majestic beasts were very much sentient unlike the myths told about them. Dragons had tough scales, and very high magic affinity made them nearly impossible to fight and kill alone. Thankfully their population was not even close to the population of the other races, if they were Dragons would have conquered Arda a long time ago. Wyverns are lighter and smaller counterparts to Dragons. They are a lot faster and agile, but their raw strength and defense is a lot lower than Dragons. Their real strength though was their Mastery of Magic. Like Elves, their mastery of magic was high, the difference being Wyverns had an even stronger magical base than Elves. They may seem little, but they are Mighty.
After the Dragons and Wyverns came the Elves. These light footed creatures were perfectly in tune with nature, and could even use mana to guide nature to grow in a certain way. The race of Elves have their flaws though. They are mostly woodworkers rather than blacksmiths. They have low stamina, and relatively low strength compared to dwarves. Don’t let this fool you though they are fierce when crossed. They are extremely fast, expert woodsmen, and their skill in magic unmatched. They are a race not to be crossed. They are very alien-like compared to other species. Unlike all the other species, they are the most intelligent, surpassing even the scientific knowledge that the humans had collected. Their wisdom was a part of their race and culture.
Then there were Giants. The Giants were very similar to dragons. They had very thick skin, an extremely high brute strength but had to work to get skilled in magic. Their numbers were few, most choosing to guard temples and other important structures. Their magic was very versalite, but the Giants had to work twice as hard to learn the same amount. There was one last race, pretty similar to giants except a lot smaller and a lot weaker.
Humans were a strange bunch. The Entities gave an extraordinary gift to the humans; they were not bound to nature like the other species were. They popped centuries after the other races and were like cockroaches. They never died out, not completely. They had one true strength. Their ability to adapt. Sure, their neutrality was a bonus, but also a negative, no race getting too close to them. The humans were average at everything. They could work hard at anything and get to the point of being equal to even the greatest of the other races. This made them extremely hard to wipe out. There were millions of other races that were formed by nature .
So the races were balanced. Numbers kept the stronger races down, and strength made sure that all races were nearly equal. Each race had a speciality or strength...each race except the humans.
Arda was in an age of Peacefulness and Prosperity. But of course, it could not last.
Chapter 3: Six’s Training
While the other Entities created life, Six started in his journey to cultivate.
“Cultivating is the path to defy the Will of Nature…You grow in power by absorbing, circulating and manipulating the Qi around you. Each level you ascend, a Tribulation comes from the Heavens to test if you are worthy for the next. Failing this Tribulation can cripple you or grant you darker fates than death,” his master explained.
“There are many ways of cultivating. There are cultivation books to cultivate, and grow your energy levels, Martial Arts to increase your body’s strength and perform moves using the energy you have.”
“I have the perfect cultivation book for you,” his master said.
“The Dark Immortal himself wrote it, it’s called ‘The Path of Darkness.’
Six takes the small booklet and a jolt of electricity passed through him. He felt like this belonged to him, like it was meant for him.
And So Six began his cultivation.
*****
When Six started reading the Scriptures of the Dark Immortal, his view on the world completely turned upside down. The book asked him questions that nobody else would ask.
“Why do we have to follow the other people’s way? Why do we have to be Noble? Honorable? Do any good? People’s morals try to stop us from gaining power because they are holding us back, keeping us from getting stronger! We shall Not follow them anymore and become stronger than others! The others underestimate you? Then use that against them. Crush all those who disrespect your power and you. The Dark One shall rise and overcome all the petty weaklings.”
Six felt his blood boiling. He knew he chose the right path. He would become the strongest there is and get revenge! That day all the Qi in Six’s surroundings were gone, making a temporary desert around him. The Qi took him all the way to Mortal Earth Realm.
He worked only on Qi that night, and as the Qi flowed through his veins … Six felt …. right.
He felt that each strain of Qi felt different.
“Master, why does each strain of Qi feel different?” Six asked respectfully.
“Because there are many types of Qi. Earth, Water, Fire, Air, Darkness, Light, Dimension, Lightning, Void, and Soul are the types. All are pretty self-explanatory except for Darkness, Light, Dimension, Void, and Soul. Darkness Qi is Qi that is from the Servants of Darkness, and Darkness overall. Light is almost the direct opposite. Void Qi is the Qi of Space and Time. Making it extremely powerful. If you manage to control Void Qi, You will probably rise up to be a Insanely Powerful Cultivator. Soul Qi is the hardest to get out of all of the Qi. It is Qi that manifests in the Soul.”
Six nodded respectfully.
Chapter Two and Three! Please share ratings.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - i'm batman - Apr. 25, 2021
Just a tip, maybe insert blank lines whenever you change the paragraph? It would make the text less cluttered and easier to read. That was for the 2nd chapter as you have inserted breaks between paragraphs in chapter 3 (tho I prefer blank lines, but stars work too I guess).
Chapter 2: I like this chapter being descriptive. The races are well described and I like the creation of the world. 8/10
Chapter 3: Nice chapter overall, but I don't think Quan Roth (that was the name of the master right?) would say phrases like 'pretty self-explanatory' or 'insanely powerful' as they sound too informal and I think for this character formal language would be appropriate. 7.5/10
EDIT: Just noticed you have the fan-fic tag. Might wanna remove it as this is not a fan-fiction of any franchise (I think) but rather your own book.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 25, 2021
(Apr. 25, 2021 5:25 PM)i'm batman Wrote: Just a tip, maybe insert blank lines whenever you change the paragraph? It would make the text less cluttered and easier to read. That was for the 2nd chapter as you have inserted breaks between paragraphs in chapter 3 (tho I prefer blank lines, but stars work too I guess).
Chapter 2: I like this chapter being descriptive. The races are well described and I like the creation of the world. 8/10
Chapter 3: Nice chapter overall, but I don't think Quan Roth (that was the name of the master right?) would say phrases like 'pretty self-explanatory' or 'insanely powerful' as they sound too informal and I think for this character formal language would be appropriate. 7.5/10
EDIT: Just noticed you have the fan-fic tag. Might wanna remove it as this is not a fan-fiction of any franchise (I think) but rather your own book.
Yeah but I indent every paragraph.
Chapter 2: Why 8/10? Any reasons why?
Chapter 3: Quan Roth is a immortal. The former Leader of the former Dark Order. He's definetely the most powerful cultivator and character in the series yet. Maybe formal language, but this guy has been alive since the very creation of the Three Worlds. I want to know why you gave it a 7.5. Needs to be more clear why.
EDIT: (I'll remove the fan fic tag)
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - reshiwum - Apr. 26, 2021
Woah! This story caught my eye! I have only read the 1st chapter but It has caught my interest greatly. Nice! These kinds of stories are definitely my thing so no doubt www.
Just my two cents though: You could probably add spaces between paragraphs and separate conversations from one another or big chunks of words. Doing so might make it easier to read your story X)
Overall, great work! Loving this so far.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 26, 2021
(Apr. 26, 2021 10:25 AM)tenma Wrote: Woah! This story caught my eye! I have only read the 1st chapter but It has caught my interest greatly. Nice! These kinds of stories are definitely my thing so no doubt www.
Just my two cents though: You could probably add spaces between paragraphs and separate conversations from one another or big chunks of words. Doing so might make it easier to read your story X)
Overall, great work! Loving this so far.
Thank You! I will do that. i'm batman said the same thing. Thanks for your thoughts!
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - i'm batman - Apr. 26, 2021
(Apr. 25, 2021 9:18 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: (Apr. 25, 2021 5:25 PM)i\m batman Wrote: Just a tip, maybe insert blank lines whenever you change the paragraph? It would make the text less cluttered and easier to read. That was for the 2nd chapter as you have inserted breaks between paragraphs in chapter 3 (tho I prefer blank lines, but stars work too I guess).
Chapter 2: I like this chapter being descriptive. The races are well described and I like the creation of the world. 8/10
Chapter 3: Nice chapter overall, but I don't think Quan Roth (that was the name of the master right?) would say phrases like 'pretty self-explanatory' or 'insanely powerful' as they sound too informal and I think for this character formal language would be appropriate. 7.5/10
EDIT: Just noticed you have the fan-fic tag. Might wanna remove it as this is not a fan-fiction of any franchise (I think) but rather your own book.
Yeah but I indent every paragraph.
Chapter 2: Why 8/10? Any reasons why?
Chapter 3: Quan Roth is a immortal. The former Leader of the former Dark Order. He's definetely the most powerful cultivator and character in the series yet. Maybe formal language, but this guy has been alive since the very creation of the Three Worlds. I want to know why you gave it a 7.5. Needs to be more clear why.
EDIT: (I'll remove the fan fic tag)
Eh, tbh I'm not good at putting my opinions into numbers, so those 8/10 and 7.5/10 mean I really liked the chapters, second one slightly more than the third, but they're not perfect, examples being what I mentioned. And I typed that in a hurry, and now feel I was a bit too stingy with the rating. New ratings:
Chapter 2: 9.5/10
Chapter 3: 9/10
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - Apr. 26, 2021
BTW, I have Necromancy in this book.
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Dragon Blader Z - Apr. 26, 2021
Now this is getting really intresting????
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RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - Ryuga's Son - May. 05, 2021
i'm batman
PinkRose
WorldKai
Pixi
Please share reviews and ratings.
Chapter 4: Demon Scrolls
Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the Three Worlds. Nazaar lifted his head and sniffed the air. He looked human except for his crimson hair and maroon eyes.
He blinked in surprise. The message had been correct; they were here. Or was it a masterful trap? He weighed the odds, but he soon realized that he would just have to take the chance. Nazaar icily said, "Spread out; hide. Capture whoever is coming . . . or your soul will return to the Prisons of Shadowrealm!"
Around him shuffled fifteen Forsaken Warriors with short swords and round infernal shields painted with black runes. Shadowrealm, the realm where Necromancers, Mischievous Beasts, and Dark Creatures sealed away, older than Time itself. The Forsaken resembled spirits who had committed horrible crimes in their lives. They were in human shells with bowed legs and thick, brutish arms made for crushing. The monsters hurried into the brush, grunting as they hid. Soon the rustling quieted and the forest was silent again.
Nazaar had escaped Shadowrealm, after millennials of imprisonment. His necromancy was back into play. Nazaar smiled, a demonic smile. He was not a Cultivator, but a Necromancer. Stopping his thoughts, Nazaar peered out in the darkness, catching every detail. He could see in darkness better than in light, because his enhanced senses. He saw three Mages, who were the very opposite of Necromancers. Nazaar smiled again. Just what he was waiting for. Mages were mortal enemies of Necromancers, determined to wipe them out. Mages of the Order of Light. Nazaar Morningstar, the child of Lucifer. The Morning Star. Nazaar glanced at his sword, imprinted with black stars. The sword’s name was Dōnburingā which translated to Dawn-Bringer.
The Urgals could not see as well as the Shade; they groped like blind beggars, fumbling with their weapons. An owl screeched, cutting through the silence. No one relaxed until the bird flew past. Then the monsters shivered in the cold night; one snapped a twig with his heavy boot. Nazaar hissed in anger, and the Forsaken straightened themselves. Another gust of wind rushed through the forest. The smell was stronger this time. Excited, he lifted a thin lip in a snarl.
“Get ready”, commanded Nazaar. This moment had taken too much planning. He would not fail.
The Forsaken lifted their swords and knives. Nazaar used a silent spell to momentarily grant them extraordinary sight.
Three white horses with riders cantered toward the ambush, their heads held high and proud, their coats rippling in the moonlight like liquid silver.
On the first horse, there was a Mage, with his head held high. His body was covered with holy runes. The Mage had pointy ears, lean shoulders, and blue hair.
The last rider had angled features and dark red hair. He carried a long spear in his right hand and a white dagger at his belt. A helm of extraordinary craftsmanship, wrought with amber and gold, rested on his head.
Between these two rode a blue elven lady, who surveyed her surroundings with poise. Framed by long black locks, her deep eyes shone with a driving force. Her clothes were unadorned, yet her beauty was undiminished. At her side was a sword, and on her back were two shafts, which through she performed her Holy Magic. She carried in her hand a scroll which she frequently looked at, as if to reassure herself it was with her.
Nazaar was already savoring his victory when the wind changed direction and swept toward the mages. The horses snorted with alarm and tossed their heads. The riders stiffened, eyes flashing from side to side, then wheeled their mounts around and galloped away. Forsaking their hiding, the Forsaken stood and released a stream of knives and arrows at the Mages. Some of the thrown weapons missed, but one struck the lady’s horse, killing it. The lady jumped into the air with inhuman speed, landing on the ground gracefully, like an angel. The lady glanced at her partners, but it was too late. The deadly arrows quickly brought down the other Two Mages, instantly killing them. Blood pooled into the ground.
“After her! She is the one who I want!”, yelled Nazaar.
A screech tore from the Mage’s throat, looking at her slain companions.
“Nazaar? You blasted carp!”, screamed the Lady.
Nazaar chuckled and said, “Give me the scroll and I will spare you.”
“I will make you pay thousand-fold for what you did. You will never have the scroll!”
The Mage cursed Nazaar and ran toward the forest. The Forsaken followed her. Nazaar climbed a piece of granite that jutted above them. From his perch he could see all of the surrounding forest. He raised his hand and swirls of darkness flew toward the entirety of the forest, devouring all life in it. The swirls of darkness streamed toward her. She fled toward the craggy piece of granite at a tremendous speed. The Shade examined the ground twenty feet below, then jumped and landed nimbly in front of her. She skidded around and sped back to the trail. Black blood dripped from her sword, staining the pouch in her hand. Unmistakably, the blood was the blood of his servants.
The remaining Forsaken warriors surrounded her, trapping her. Nazaar chuckled, enjoying her helplessness. Satisfaction thrummed in his mind. She drew herself with regal disdain as she tried to find a way out. The swirls of darkness circled her, drawing out all her Qi and Cultivation powers. Unlike Necromancers, Mages could absorb Qi and cultivate. She dropped the scroll on the ground, and she desperately absorbed Earth Qi. The Earth opened, and devoured the scroll.
Howling in rage, Nazaar threw his hands toward the Mage, sending her flying. Her body fell on the ground, rendering her unconscious. Prophecies of revenge, spoken in a wretched language only he knew, rolled from his tongue. He clenched his thin hands and glared at the sky. The cold stars stared back, unwinking, otherworldly watchers. Disgust curled his lip before he turned back to the unconscious mage.
“The Temporal Demon Scroll! One of the 10 Demon scrolls! Gone!”, growled Nazaar. He shot a bolt of darkness from his hand, which disintegrated the Forsaken Warriors.
Suddenly the world dissolved, closing itself. Six opened his dark eyes, peering into the present world. He started pondering. Who was Nazaar? Mages? Necromancers? Demon Scrolls?
RE: The War of Three Worlds: The Six Entities (This is my Book!) - i'm batman - May. 05, 2021
Okay, here's the review:
Plot: 5/5. The plot advances quite a bit and seems very interesting.
Dialogue: 4.5/5. There's not much dialogue, but that's understandable as this is a more action oriented chapter.
Characterization: 5/5. They are new characters, so I don't really know them well enough to say what's in-character or out-of-character for them. The characterization within the chapter seems consistent though.
Grammar: 4.5/5. I noticed just one or two wrong choice of words but nothing too serious.
Action: 5/5. The action part is well-described and I liked it.
Overall: 24/25. Great chapter. Keep it up.
I used PinkRose's rating system except for the last one I replaced Battles with Action as this is not a Beyblade fic.
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