(Nov. 02, 2020  2:45 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Since my fnaf fanfic didn’t do to good I’m gonna try a beyblade one. I’ll be posting chapters here and if your interested in adding your character into the story you can enter the contest.

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:49 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: I have nothing better to do with my life so-

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(Nov. 02, 2020  2:45 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Since my fnaf fanfic didn’t do to good I’m gonna try a beyblade one. I’ll be posting chapters here and if your interested in adding your character into the story you can enter the contest.

I thought your fnaf one was good

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:52 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:49 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: I have nothing better to do with my life so-

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I thought your fnaf one was good

Oh thanks. But it didn’t seem like people were interested in it so I’m gonna try a beyblade one

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:59 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:52 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Oh thanks. But it didn’t seem like people were interested in it so I’m gonna try a beyblade one

Ok

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When does this fanfiction occur.... After sparking.... After gt and before sparking.... Etc.

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:36 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  2:59 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: Ok

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When does this fanfiction occur.... After sparking.... After gt and before sparking.... Etc.

This is a alternate timeline/universe for sparking where lane, hyuga, a

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*Technical difficulties

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(Nov. 02, 2020  3:36 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: [quote="TwistedWerewolf" pid='1647068' dateline='1604325556']

Ok

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When does this fanfiction occur.... After sparking.... After gt and before sparking.... Etc.

This is a alternate timeline/universe for sparking where lane, hyuga, and hikaru don’t exist

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:45 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:36 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: This is a alternate timeline/universe for sparking where lane, hyuga, a

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*Technical difficulties

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This is a alternate timeline/universe for sparking where lane, hyuga, and hikaru don’t exist

Ok

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I will add my character when I'm done with the sparking evo

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:50 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:45 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: Ok

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I will add my character when I'm done with the sparking evo

Alright then

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Beyblade Burst Into Madness #1 “Look to the Horizon”

Andrew: Wait, mom, dad. I can really get a beyblade?!
Dad: Yeah I used to blade when I was a kid. But it’s not like you can buy it you need to make one yourself.
Andrew: Oh, ok. What do I do first.
Dad: There’s a beyblade making center downtown. You should go check it out.
Andrew: Alright.

Andrew leaves the house and goes to the beyblade making center. He is greeted by a lady at the front desk.

Front desk lady: Hello, why are you here today?
Andrew: I want to make a beyblade.
Front desk lady: Ok go to the right and you can make one.

Andrew goes to the right to find other children making beyblades of their own. There was a smart board on the wall stating what he needs for his beyblade. It shows how the beyblades have evolved and shows the sparking system. It then says to go to one of the work stations and search in yourself to make the beyblade. He looks into his soul and finds the name for his beyblade “Savion Horizon” . He then looks into the types of beyblades and finds the type he wants. He chose the chassis 1D, the disk around, and finally the driver friction’. He leaves the facility with his new defense bey. But then he sees a blader bullying a other blader making fun of him.

Bully: You want this bey? Come and take it hahaha!
Andrew: Hey, leave him alone.
Bully: And what are you gonna do?
Andrew: I’ll battle you!
Bully: Alright then.

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AlexTheBlader this is my new Beyblade fan fic. If you wanna rate this series too you can.

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:57 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:50 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Alright then

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Beyblade Burst Into Madness #1 “Look to the Horizon”

Andrew: Wait, mom, dad. I can really get a beyblade?!
Dad: Yeah I used to blade when I was a kid. But it’s not like you can buy it you need to make one yourself.
Andrew: Oh, ok. What do I do first.
Dad: There’s a beyblade making center downtown. You should go check it out.
Andrew: Alright.

Andrew leaves the house and goes to the beyblade making center. He is greeted by a lady at the front desk.

Front desk lady: Hello, why are you here today?
Andrew: I want to make a beyblade.
Front desk lady: Ok go to the right and you can make one.

Andrew goes to the right to find other children making beyblades of their own. There was a smart board on the wall stating what he needs for his beyblade. It shows how the beyblades have evolved and shows the sparking system. It then says to go to one of the work stations and search in yourself to make the beyblade. He looks into his soul and finds the name for his beyblade “Savion Horizon” . He then looks into the types of beyblades and finds the type he wants. He chose the chassis 1D, the disk around, and finally the driver friction’. He leaves the facility with his new defense bey. But then he sees a blader bullying a other blader making fun of him.

Bully: You want this bey? Come and take it hahaha!
Andrew: Hey, leave him alone.
Bully: And what are you gonna do?
Andrew: I’ll battle you!
Bully: Alright then.

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AlexTheBlader this is my new Beyblade fan fic. If you wanna rate this series too you can.

That was... Good?

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Btw I'm almost done

(Nov. 02, 2020  4:00 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:57 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: That was... Good?

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Btw I'm almost done

Ok but was it good or not?

(Nov. 02, 2020  4:02 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  4:00 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Ok but was it good or not?

A little rushed you just need to slow down a lil bit but other than that it's good

(Nov. 02, 2020  4:07 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: Name: Wataru Kioshi
Personality: Cool but serious
Look: Red jacket (Unzipped) with a black shirt, Grey pants Spikey hair (Think of big nate but more hair) black shoes

Bey: Blast Werewolf
Blast Werewolf 2B Dimension'

Blast: Painted tan, Four main contact points that look like large spikes and in between the contact points are smaller spikes that come in pairs of six

Werewolf: Painted Tan, Looks like the head of a werewolf

2B: Painted tan

Dimension': painted yellow
Moves:
1. Blasted Breakout
Dimension' turns to attack mode and picks up on a ton of speed

2. Blast Launch
The bey comes out with a barrage of attacks that the opponent cant escape

3. Blasted Sabers
The Contact points glow and deal a massive amount of damage when hitting the opponent

Super Moves:
Sword flinger
Its swords fly off in all directions and hits the opponent

(Can only be used if Sword Flinger has been used)
Blasted Bite
A single sword comes back to Werewolf And the other swords hit the opponent on all side while werewolf is hitting the final side


P.S: I tried to make this as on point as possible

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:50 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:45 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote: Ok

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I will add my character when I'm done with the sparking evo

Alright then

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Beyblade Burst Into Madness #1 “Look to the Horizon”

Andrew: Wait, mom, dad. I can really get a beyblade?!
Dad: Yeah I used to blade when I was a kid. But it’s not like you can buy it you need to make one yourself.
Andrew: Oh, ok. What do I do first.
Dad: There’s a beyblade making center downtown. You should go check it out.
Andrew: Alright.

Andrew leaves the house and goes to the beyblade making center. He is greeted by a lady at the front desk.

Front desk lady: Hello, why are you here today?
Andrew: I want to make a beyblade.
Front desk lady: Ok go to the right and you can make one.

Andrew goes to the right to find other children making beyblades of their own. There was a smart board on the wall stating what he needs for his beyblade. It shows how the beyblades have evolved and shows the sparking system. It then says to go to one of the work stations and search in yourself to make the beyblade. He looks into his soul and finds the name for his beyblade “Savion Horizon” . He then looks into the types of beyblades and finds the type he wants. He chose the chassis 1D, the disk around, and finally the driver friction’. He leaves the facility with his new defense bey. But then he sees a blader bullying a other blader making fun of him.

Bully: You want this bey? Come and take it hahaha!
Andrew: Hey, leave him alone.
Bully: And what are you gonna do?
Andrew: I’ll battle you!
Bully: Alright then.

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AlexTheBlader this is my new Beyblade fan fic. If you wanna rate this series too you can.

(Nov. 02, 2020  4:20 PM)AlexTheBlader Wrote:

(Nov. 02, 2020  3:50 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Alright then

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Beyblade Burst Into Madness #1 “Look to the Horizon”

Andrew: Wait, mom, dad. I can really get a beyblade?!
Dad: Yeah I used to blade when I was a kid. But it’s not like you can buy it you need to make one yourself.
Andrew: Oh, ok. What do I do first.
Dad: There’s a beyblade making center downtown. You should go check it out.
Andrew: Alright.

Andrew leaves the house and goes to the beyblade making center. He is greeted by a lady at the front desk.

Front desk lady: Hello, why are you here today?
Andrew: I want to make a beyblade.
Front desk lady: Ok go to the right and you can make one.

Andrew goes to the right to find other children making beyblades of their own. There was a smart board on the wall stating what he needs for his beyblade. It shows how the beyblades have evolved and shows the sparking system. It then says to go to one of the work stations and search in yourself to make the beyblade. He looks into his soul and finds the name for his beyblade “Savion Horizon” . He then looks into the types of beyblades and finds the type he wants. He chose the chassis 1D, the disk around, and finally the driver friction’. He leaves the facility with his new defense bey. But then he sees a blader bullying a other blader making fun of him.

Bully: You want this bey? Come and take it hahaha!
Andrew: Hey, leave him alone.
Bully: And what are you gonna do?
Andrew: I’ll battle you!
Bully: Alright then.

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AlexTheBlader this is my new Beyblade fan fic. If you wanna rate this series too you can.

6/10 wording is a bit weird, super short and really rushed I didn’t even know how he even really got his bey. Also the look into his soul part is confusing as he has no bey spirit if he had bey spirit it would have made sense but no I’m just confused what happened

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:47 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Beyblade Burst Into Madness #2 “Horizon vs Spriggan”

They both launch their beys. The bully was using Naked Spriggan, paradox, orbit metal. Spriggan goes to the center and protects it.

Bully: Naked defense.

Horizon kept attacking Spriggan but it didn’t budge.

Bully: Counter break!

Spriggan sprinted at Horizon and nocked Horizon out of the stadium. Andrew then grabs his bey and plans his next round. But then something calls his name.

Horizon: Andrew.

Andrew then gets teleported into a place where it’s only him and his bey.

Andrew: Who are you?
Horizon: I am your bey, Horizon.
Andrew: Nice to meet you Horizon.
Horizon: Same, but we need to plan our round.
Andrew: Ok, what’s the plan?

Andrew then could see the stadium and the bully again. They both launch their beys, and Spriggan takes the center again.

Bully: Naked defense.

Horizon did exactly what he did the last round but had a plan.

Bully: Counter break!
Andrew: Horizon break!

Both beys clash and are at a stalemate.

Andrew: HORIZON GO!

A flare went around Andrew and Horizon started glowing light blue and it’s Orange eyes shined. Horizon smashed through Spriggan and Spriggan bursted.

Andrew: His bey?!

The bully gave Andrew the kids bey and Andrew gave the kid his bey back.

Kid: Thank you!
Andrew: No problem.

Andrew then leaves the stadium questioning to himself what happened.

Horizon: Good job Andrew.
Andrew: You too Horizon.

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AlexTheBlader I hope this chapter was better then the first

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:53 PM)AlexTheBlader Wrote:

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:47 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: Beyblade Burst Into Madness #2 “Horizon vs Spriggan”

They both launch their beys. The bully was using Naked Spriggan, paradox, orbit metal. Spriggan goes to the center and protects it.

Bully: Naked defense.

Horizon kept attacking Spriggan but it didn’t budge.

Bully: Counter break!

Spriggan sprinted at Horizon and nocked Horizon out of the stadium. Andrew then grabs his bey and plans his next round. But then something calls his name.

Horizon: Andrew.

Andrew then gets teleported into a place where it’s only him and his bey.

Andrew: Who are you?
Horizon: I am your bey, Horizon.
Andrew: Nice to meet you Horizon.
Horizon: Same, but we need to plan our round.
Andrew: Ok, what’s the plan?

Andrew then could see the stadium and the bully again. They both launch their beys, and Spriggan takes the center again.

Bully: Naked defense.

Horizon did exactly what he did the last round but had a plan.

Bully: Counter break!
Andrew: Horizon break!

Both beys clash and are at a stalemate.

Andrew: HORIZON GO!

A flare went around Andrew and Horizon started glowing light blue and it’s Orange eyes shined. Horizon smashed through Spriggan and Spriggan bursted.

Andrew: His bey?!

The bully gave Andrew the kids bey and Andrew gave the kid his bey back.

Kid: Thank you!
Andrew: No problem.

Andrew then leaves the stadium questioning to himself what happened.

Horizon: Good job Andrew.
Andrew: You too Horizon.

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AlexTheBlader I hope this chapter was better then the first

Ok so a pretty quick episode again. The battle seemed so plain and they had low emotion. Also valt did not get his bey spirit in his first ever battle he took multiple battles for that . Also a few grammar mistakes. I can’t make myself say anything better than 5/10 sorry.

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:57 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:53 PM)AlexTheBlader Wrote: Ok so a pretty quick episode again. The battle seemed so plain and they had low emotion. Also valt did not get his bey spirit in his first ever battle he took multiple battles for that . Also a few grammar mistakes. I can’t make myself say anything better than 5/10 sorry.

I made it short because there wasn’t really anything to talk about. It was just a battle. I’ll try and make up on the emotion. I know Valt didn’t but lately most protagonists have been getting their bey spirits fast so I made Andrew get his fast too. It’s fine I’ll work on the next one

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No I give up. I don’t know how this story is gonna work. Can someone get a mod to close this thread because I’m gonna work on fazbears fright chapter 2

(Nov. 03, 2020  6:08 PM)AlexTheBlader Wrote:

(Nov. 03, 2020  5:57 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: I made it short because there wasn’t really anything to talk about. It was just a battle. I’ll try and make up on the emotion. I know Valt didn’t but lately most protagonists have been getting their bey spirits fast so I made Andrew get his fast too. It’s fine I’ll work on the next one

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No I give up. I don’t know how this story is gonna work. Can someone get a mod to close this thread because I’m gonna work on fazbears fright chapter 2

No I think it still has potential keep going it’s just what I was trying to say is that Andrew got his bey spirit after one battle usually it takes multiple battles and hardships to other protagonist to get their spirit

(Nov. 03, 2020  6:10 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote:

(Nov. 03, 2020  6:08 PM)AlexTheBlader Wrote: No I think it still has potential keep going it’s just what I was trying to say is that Andrew got his bey spirit after one battle usually it takes multiple battles and hardships to other protagonist to get their spirit

No I’m quitting because I don’t understand the elements to a bey story. Literally the only character I have in my head for this is the main antagonist.

(Nov. 04, 2020  1:15 PM)TwistedWerewolf Wrote:

(Nov. 03, 2020  6:10 PM)Golden Freddy Wrote: No I’m quitting because I don’t understand the elements to a bey story. Literally the only character I have in my head for this is the main antagonist.

Wow so your really quiting after two episodes?