(Apr. 20, 2021  1:44 AM)THunderACE4 Wrote: Any writing advice when it comes to beybattles?

The Beybattles on my fanfic in my perspective seems kinda fast, bland and soulless.

(Apr. 20, 2021  2:16 AM)PinkRose Wrote:

(Apr. 20, 2021  1:44 AM)THunderACE4 Wrote: Any writing advice when it comes to beybattles?

The Beybattles on my fanfic in my perspective seems kinda fast, bland and soulless.

Let's see (I didn't read your fanfic or if I did I forgot, so some of this might not be what you're looking for but here goes anyway)

You could always work on describing the movement. Instead of just having the Bladers call out special moves then saying that Bey A hit Bey B and burst it, try to describe the flow of the battle, the movement of the Beys. Think about how the Bey moves when it hits the stadium (a spiral pattern, a flower, a beeline to the centre, etc. and how fast it is), when it collides with the opponent's Bey (does it get pushed back? What part makes the contact? Does something on the Bey shift upon impact?), and when it uses its Special Moves (how fast is it? How hard is the force of the attack? How does it look like?). Picture this kind of stuff, then try to write it down. It would help in making the battle more detailed and interesting.

(Apr. 20, 2021  2:20 AM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote:

(Apr. 20, 2021  2:16 AM)PinkRose Wrote: Let's see (I didn't read your fanfic or if I did I forgot, so some of this might not be what you're looking for but here goes anyway)

You could always work on describing the movement. Instead of just having the Bladers call out special moves then saying that Bey A hit Bey B and burst it, try to describe the flow of the battle, the movement of the Beys. Think about how the Bey moves when it hits the stadium (a spiral pattern, a flower, a beeline to the centre, etc. and how fast it is), when it collides with the opponent's Bey (does it get pushed back? What part makes the contact? Does something on the Bey shift upon impact?), and when it uses its Special Moves (how fast is it? How hard is the force of the attack? How does it look like?). Picture this kind of stuff, then try to write it down. It would help in making the battle more detailed and interesting.

I agree 100 percent. What I would like to add is focus on the feelings of the characters. (even I need to work on it. In fact every fan fic writer on WBO needs to work on it. No offense anyone who finds this offense) Like who are they? WHY do they want to win? What is their goal. etc...

(Apr. 20, 2021  2:29 AM)PinkRose Wrote:

(Apr. 20, 2021  2:20 AM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: I agree 100 percent. What I would like to add is focus on the feelings of the characters. (even I need to work on it. In fact every fan fic writer on WBO needs to work on it. No offense anyone who finds this offense) Like who are they? WHY do they want to win? What is their goal. etc...

Mhm, that too. I was mainly talking about the Beys, but characterization is also essential, be it inside or outside battles.

(Apr. 20, 2021  7:47 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Okay so, I have an idea that I've been using with some of my writer friends on other forums. How about, when reviewing a story, we split it into sections (and rate each one out of 5 or something) to explain what was wrong with each of them better? I think that would help newer and even older writers to see where they're going wrong and work on that. The sections are:
Plot.
Dialogue
Characterization
Grammar
Battles (assuming it's a Beyblade fic which most fics here are)

How does that sound? You don't always have to explain why you gave a specific rating to one section or another (not all of us can write an essay on each story chapter they rate lol), just give the rating and maybe a couple words to point out exactly what you found was done wrong or could be improved.

(Apr. 20, 2021  7:47 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Okay so, I have an idea that I've been using with some of my writer friends on other forums. How about, when reviewing a story, we split it into sections (and rate each one out of 5 or something) to explain what was wrong with each of them better? I think that would help newer and even older writers to see where they're going wrong and work on that. The sections are:
Plot.
Dialogue
Characterization
Grammar
Battles (assuming it's a Beyblade fic which most fics here are)

How does that sound? You don't always have to explain why you gave a specific rating to one section or another (not all of us can write an essay on each story chapter they rate lol), just give the rating and maybe a couple words to point out exactly what you found was done wrong or could be improved.

(Apr. 20, 2021  8:15 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote:

(Apr. 20, 2021  7:47 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Okay so, I have an idea that I've been using with some of my writer friends on other forums. How about, when reviewing a story, we split it into sections (and rate each one out of 5 or something) to explain what was wrong with each of them better? I think that would help newer and even older writers to see where they're going wrong and work on that. The sections are:
Plot.
Dialogue
Characterization
Grammar
Battles (assuming it's a Beyblade fic which most fics here are)

How does that sound? You don't always have to explain why you gave a specific rating to one section or another (not all of us can write an essay on each story chapter they rate lol), just give the rating and maybe a couple words to point out exactly what you found was done wrong or could be improved.

I personally do that but with length replacing battles, but I might do battles too, but also I feel that battles could have it’s own little side rating list.

(Apr. 20, 2021  9:38 PM)TheGolden Blade Wrote: Can someone rate my fanfic? I think I've been doing pretty good. I also decided to start a tournament in chapter 8. I've got a bunch of ideas.

(May. 14, 2021  4:14 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: My fave fanfic is Bionic Battle made by @Strikegamerv6 it is awesome

(May. 14, 2021  4:21 PM)Ryuga's Son Wrote:

(May. 14, 2021  4:14 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: My fave fanfic is Bionic Battle made by @Strikegamerv6 it is awesome

not to be rude, but it has lot of plot holes, plot inconsistency, grammar problems.

But, you can improve. Practice.

(May. 14, 2021  4:46 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:

(May. 14, 2021  4:21 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: not to be rude, but it has lot of plot holes, plot inconsistency, grammar problems.

But, you can improve. Practice.

Hey, you're not being rude you're actually being super nice giving me feedback!! thx I will try doing better

(May. 14, 2021  8:31 PM)XSabxManiacX Wrote: Cant believe people actually like my horror genre Beyblade Burst fics, haha /lh Theyre super old and not exactly my full potential. Poor thing is ridden with clichés; typos that could change the meaning of the sentences; and stuff I technically couldve made darker but I dont want to become infamous or break WBO rules

(May. 14, 2021  9:34 PM)XSabxManiacX Wrote: Also something Ive been meaning to say:

Anyone who can write a Beybattle — even by a little — has my respect. Writing Beybattles is a lot of effort and patience on your part. I myself — mostly being an anime viewer and not a Blader — am not really knowledgeable with the Beyblade parts, toys, gimmicks, etc. and therefore dont feel comfortable making fan Beyblades and writing battles