World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
[Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Printable Version

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[Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Resonated_ - Jan. 10, 2014

So this story is based off of the anime "A certain Magical Index" I hope you guys like it!

Prologue

Chapter 1


How you should make a Character request.

Name:
Personality:
Age:
Gender:
BackstoryUnhappyOptional)
Esper Level: (Put Zero if you character is not an esper)
Esper Ability:


RE: [Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Dual - Jan. 10, 2014

You change tenses towards the beginning, and also dialogue needs punctuation. So instead of saying, for example:
"I bite people" said Cornelius.
It should be:
"I bite people." Said Cornelius.
That's about it. I haven't seen the anime, but this seems interesting!

Also, maybe change the title to something shorter because it's causing problems with post length and such.


[Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust (Accepting Character Requests) - Resonated_ - Jan. 11, 2014

Thanks for the advice I just went back and edited it.


RE: [Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Dual - Jan. 11, 2014

Much better! One more minor thing, you say "and" like five times in the first paragraph, but it's not that big of a deal.

Anyway, yup, this looks good, I'll keep an eye out for chapter 1.


RE: [Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Resonated_ - Jan. 11, 2014

Glad you like it I went back and edited it and I got it down to about 2.


RE: [Non Beyblade story] A Certain Psychological Bloodlust - Resonated_ - Jan. 14, 2014

I got chapter one done


Chapter 1