World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Chapter 1 is up) - Printable Version

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Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Chapter 1 is up) - Ryukiba - Sep. 29, 2013

Hey guys! This is my first story so if you'll could help me improve it I'd appreciate it!Smile I'm working on chapter 2 right now
Prologue:
Chpter 1: My past (part 1)



RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - 6 God - Sep. 29, 2013

Sounds kinda short, don't you think? It sounds okay right now though. Good Luck!


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - Dual - Sep. 29, 2013

Well it's the prologue, it's not supposed to be long. A few spelling errors, and you changed from past to present tense, but the concept seems really interesting!


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - ★WindStarElite★ - Sep. 29, 2013

Nice so far I like it


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - Septentrione - Sep. 29, 2013

Yes, the concept does seem interesting. I also think that abbusive is spelled, "Abusive." Other than that, I'll keep my eye out for this.


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - Ryukiba - Sep. 29, 2013

(Sep. 29, 2013  2:27 AM)Ultramarine Wrote: Well it's the prologue, it's not supposed to be wrong. A few spelling errors, and you changed from past to present tense, but the concept seems really interesting!

Yeah I'm not that good at that-.- I'll try and fix it and the spelling errorsSmile also thanks!Smile


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Prologue) - Ryukiba - Sep. 29, 2013

Sorry for double posting
I fixed the prologue a little bit and chapter 1 is up!Smile hope ya'll enjoy it!Smile


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Chapter 1 is up) - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 30, 2013

I think if you look at other stories and see how they paragraph and format their speech, you'll understand how to adapt it to your story. Other than that, this is pretty goo
D. Just keep thay description flowing and format it.


RE: Beyblade story: Xtreme Blader (Chapter 1 is up) - Ryukiba - Oct. 03, 2013

(Sep. 30, 2013  6:47 AM)jacolal Wrote: I think if you look at other stories and see how they paragraph and format their speech, you'll understand how to adapt it to your story. Other than that, this is pretty goo
D. Just keep thay description flowing and format it.

Ok I'll trySmile and im working on chapter 2 so that'll be up soon!Smile