RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 06, 2013
Again with a suspense ended. I love it !!!
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Sep. 08, 2013
Here's Chapter 11!!!
WARNING: Some blood.
Right after school, Miles and his friends went to the exhibition stadiums. There were hundreds of people there, and so Miles and his friends hopped in as fast as they could.
Miles was winning matches left and right. It was almost becoming routine. Everybody could tell that Miles was beginning to fully regain his competitive edge.
After winning an astounding 125 battles, Miles decided to quit for the day. After all of the matches were processed, he rose all the way up to rank 8, right behind his friends.
"You did great today, Miles!!!" Devin congratulated.
"Yeah, you're almost there!!" Audrey added.
"Only a few more battles, Miles, and you'll be on the verge of taking number one in the world!" Cloud chimed in.
"Thanks guys!" Miles said, smiling. "I'm gonna head back to the house now..."
Miles'friends waved goodbye as Miles exited the room. He entered the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor, two floors down. The door closed and the elevator began moving down, however, as soon as the elevator passed the second floor, it stopped completely, and the lights went out.
"Huh?" Miles said, confused. He pressed the first floor button. Nothing. Then he pressed the emergency button a few times. Still nothing. Then he tried pulling the door open. It didn't even budge.
Miles was starting to get nervous now as he stood in the large, empty, dark elevator, but he tried to stay calm.
"Hey, can somebody help me? I'm stuck..." Me yelled.
Not a single sound.
"Hey, I'm stuck in the elevator. It won't move. Can somebody help me?" he yelled, a bit more audible this time.
Then, Miles was startled when something crashed on top of the elevator. Big, glowing red eyes stared down at him. Now Miles was scared. After two hits, the figure, broke the ceiling and jumped in. It grabbed Miles and slammed him into the side of a wall. He stared into the big glowing red eyes with panic. Then, the figure's face was visible after a flash. It was indescribable. The scariest thing Miles had ever seen, without a doubt.
Miles broke into a nosebleed from all the stress. The figure dropped him and jumped back out of the elevator.
Meanwhile back upstairs, Acieke's phone vibrated.
"Who could that be?" Dan wondered.
"I don't know..." Acieke responded. He pulled out his phone and checked the message.
"Well?" Devin asked. "Who's it from?"
"It's from Miles..." Acieke answered, and then his eyes widened. "It says, 'something bad happened.'"
"Miles!!" Bryan gasped. "Where is he at?!"
"It says he's stuck in the elevator, just below the second floor." Acieke responded, and the six ran to the elevator. Devin, using his bionic arms, managed to somehow pull the door open, and sure enough, just below that door, was the stopped car with Miles in it. Dan found a rope, and Bryan jumped down, grabbed Miles, and the other five friends pulled them both up.
"Miles, what the hell happened to you?!" Bryan asked, nervous and worried.
Miles tried to find the composure to speak. "It....It was....terrible...s-scared me so much..." Then, Miles's eyes widened as he pointed. Everyone turned, and right there, T.D. was standing, watching with glowing red eyes.
Miles growled. "Why you little..." Miles got up and charged at T.D., then, at the last possible second, T.D. disappeared into thin air, and Miles crashed on the ground, hitting his already bleeding nose. Miles's friends ran to him and circled around him.
"Miles, what in the world is going on?!?!" Bryan asked desperately.
Miles, wiped the blood from his nose and looked back up at him, and responded in the most serious tone.
"It's almost time..."
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Sep. 10, 2013
Sorry for Double Post, but here's Chapter 12!
Devin's parents drove the seven friends back to the house. Miles' bloody nose was healed back to normal.
Later, around 10:30pm, everybody was asleep except Bryan and Miles, who were laying in bed, talking to each other.
"So Miles..." Bryan started, "What did you mean when you said it was almost time?"
Miles sighed, but responded reluctantly. "What I meant to say was that It was going to be soon enough that I would have to face T.D., and I can honestly say, I think...I think he's going to be the strongest opponent I ever face..."
Bryan just stared with a concerning look at Miles. "So, uh...what did you see?"
"Huh?" Miles asked.
"What did you see down there? In the elevator?"
Miles had the scary image of the figure still stuck in his head. He was shivering at the thought of it.
"Well..." Miles started. "I can know for sure, it was T.D., except he wasn't wearing his mask, but....oh my god...you have no idea how scary he looked... His teeth...there had to be a hundred teeth, all as sharp as a shark's. Blood...all over his face, running down his body. And those eyes.....large, nothing but a red glow. There was no way, Bryan. No way he could be a human. Just...no way..."
"But he has to be, Miles..." Bryan responded. "Maybe he did that to himself, on purpose, to scare his opponents. Maybe that's why he wears the mask!!"
"Maybe..." Miles replied. "But..." He started holding onto himself, shivering. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep again..."
Bryan quickly held onto Miles. "Miles..." Bryan started. "You have to stop this. There's no way that you can let him, or it, keep hurting you. You need to end this soon, and I'll always be by your side to help you through it all..."
Miles held onto Bryan silently as the two drifted asleep.
On Saturday morning, Devin read about a vacant tournament where all of them could compete against each other. All of the friends agreed, and they entered the Double Elimination tournament. As the tournament started around noon, the seven entered the arena filled with screaming fans and spectators. The announcer made his way out and began speaking.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!!!" he started, "This tournament will be a double elimination tournament between seven top-ranked bladers and good friends. Which of these seven bladers will come out on top? Let's find out!"
The crowd applauded as the announcer announced the first round of matches.
"The first match will be..." The crowd waited in anticipation.
"Dan VS Acieke!"
The crowd cheered as the two walked over to the stadium. They attached their beys and began the countdown.
3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!!!
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 10, 2013
There are a couple of grammar points where you can use semi-colon rather than a full stop, which was overused. And there were no speech marks for the 3 2 1 LET IT RIP.
But this still a great story! I am loving it.
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - RagerBlade - Sep. 10, 2013
Want this story to be in WBO Weekly?
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Sep. 11, 2013
(Sep. 10, 2013 8:04 PM)jacolal Wrote: There are a couple of grammar points where you can use semi-colon rather than a full stop,
Funny Story, I actually never learned how to use a semi-colon properly. I know that I should use it, but to avoid making it look weird, I try to avoid it completely.
I did correct the quotation, as well as a few grammar mistakes.
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Sep. 15, 2013
Here's Chapter 13!!
Dan's Shade and Acieke's Haos hit the stadium, and quickly, the two beys were in a heated battle. Acieke's Haos was heavy, but Shade had more smash power. The two beys, kept colliding, neither giving an inch. Sparks began to fly from the beys.
"Push him over, Shade! You can do it!" Dan commanded.
"Take him down, Haos!" Acieke shouted.
The beys began glowing with more energy, and the sparks intensified. The crowd was loving it. Even the other friends were focused and excited.
"Keep going, Shade!!" Dan yelled.
"Keep it up, Haos!!" Acieke commanded.
The beys glowed even brighter, and the sparks turned from bright orange to blue. This was such an intense shove match between the two beys. The crowd was going ecstatic. Finally, when all of the energy was built up, both Dan and Acieke launched their special moves.
"Arrow of Dusk!!" Dan shouted.
"Impenetrable Defense!!" Acieke yelled out.
Dan's Purple bey was chagin quick at the white bey of Acieke's. The two collided, and an explosion covered the whole stadium. The clouds cleared instantly, and shown was Dan's bey lodged in the ground, and Acieke's bey spinning away from the landing spot. He deflected it perfectly.
The crowd cheered. "Ladies and gentlemen!" the announcer shouted. "Your winner, Acieke Agetteig!"
Acieke slid down, picked up both beys, and climbed back out, handing Dan his bey and shaking his hand.
The announcer called the other two matches, Bryan VS Devin, and Cloud VS Audrey, but Devin and Cloud easily won before anything could take place.
The bracket was now set up. They would do the second round of the winner's bracket next.
The announcer read the first matchup. "Miles VS Acieke!"
Miles and Acieke approached the stadium and attached their beys. The entire crowd counted down with them.
"3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!!!"
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 15, 2013
It was a bit short, but really interesting. I liked this chapter and am excited to see more of you in action.
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Sep. 26, 2013
Sorry for disappearing. School had me held up. Here's Chapter 14!!!
Miles's Pegasis and Acieke's Haos entered the stadium and without hesitation, they tackled right into each other. The sparks were so intense that Acieke and Miles had to back up from the stadium. The crowd was going crazy. The beys weren't even visible. They were engulfed in the sparks. So much clashing was going on, even the other friends were losing it. The battle was so exciting.
In both Acieke's and Miles's minds, they were thinking the same thing. No special moves, no tricks, nothing of those sorts. This was going to be a shove fight down to the very end. The beys slid everywhere around the stadium. Sparks were flying up everywhere. Miles and Acieke were running in circles around the stadium trying to follow their bey and keep up with the action.
The sparks began to turn blue and the heat was escaping out of the bowl-shaped stadium. Both beys were weak, but Acieke and Miles looked at each other, and nodded. They both backed up their beys as far as possible to the edge of the stadium, and at the same time charged at each other with as much force as they had left.
The last clash decided it all. They hit each other, and the result was clear. Haos flew out of the stadium and Pegasis remained spinning.
The crowd went hysterical. The announcer was so excited he almost forgot to announce the winner. "Ladies and gentleman, how about that fight?! That was amazing!! Great job by both competitors! Give it up to Miles, everybody!"
Miles picked up his bey, and Acieke picked up his. They fistbumped and headed back to the bench.
"Alright, next match should be just as interesting!" the announcer said, "The next match is Devin VS Cloud!!"
The crowd, already pumped from the last fight, was on their feet. Cloud and Devin stared each other down and got up right in each other's faces. They then hugged and headed to the stadium. Devin attached Corona, and Cloud attached Orojya^2. The crowd counted down.
"3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!!!"
RE: BeyBlade Story: Getting Back to the Top[PG] - DefStamina88 - Oct. 03, 2013
Sorry for double post, but here's chapter 15!!
Corona and Orojya landed in the stadium, and both beys started making a flower pattern in the stadium. Corona's was much faster, but Orojya's was more steady. They soon collided, and the two heavy beys began dueling with great strength.
The crowd was cheering as the shockwave of the clashing metal rang throughout the coliseum.
"Go, Corona!" Devin commanded.
Corona then ran up the side of the stadium, flipped off of the edge and landed perfectly on top of Orojya, crippling it.
"Hold em back, Orojya!" Cloud commanded, and then Orojya did the same move, and weakened Corona.
The two beys then kept flipping off of the edge of the stadium in different fashions, slowly weakening each other. The crowd was mesmerized by the style show. sparks were flying from each bey.
"Go Orojya, Special Move, Unforgiving Bind!" Cloud exclaimed.
Six snakes emerged from Orojya, and they all began charging at Corona.
Miles thought it was over. Devin's Corona was not fast enough to dodge that.
But then, he was proven wrong...
Corona sprinted to avoid the first snake, then dodged a second one, then a third. Eventually, all six snakes were stuck in the stadium, and this is where Devin took advantage.
"Finish Him, Corona, Special Move, Rainbow Dart!"
Corona flew up into the air, a rainbow flowing behind it, and then Corona flew down towards Orojya, and, like a dart, pierced Orojya and knocked it out of the stadium.
The crowd went wild. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" the announcer said, "Your winner, Devin Collins!!"
Devin returned his bey, and Cloud picked up his. They hugged after the battle, and walked back.
"Now..." the announcer said, "We're going to take a quick break, then we will do three loser's bracket matches. Stay tuned for the action, everybody!!"
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