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+--- Thread: (STORY TIME) The Lost Star Fragments (/Thread-STORY-TIME-The-Lost-Star-Fragments)
(STORY TIME) The Lost Star Fragments - kerburs123 - Jul. 25, 2013
Introduction:
Spoiler (Click to View)
RE: (STORY TIME) The Lost Star Fragments - DefStamina88 - Jul. 25, 2013
That seems a bit short for an Introduction to me. Your introduction shouldn't be a question. It should introduce the entire scene, the character in description, what his bey looks like, and all that. More detail and length are killing me right here.
You want length without making the story look like a novel, and if we don't know all the details, we can get lost.
All we know is that the boy named Zauq Chaos has received an energy from the universe into his bey in the year 2020. So, describe; What does it look like in 2020? What does his bey look like? What does Zauq look like? How old is he? How does he act?
There's so many questions that need to be answered and problems that need to be fixed, but it has potential.