World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Beyblade: Metal Sting - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Beyblade: Metal Sting (/Thread-Beyblade-Metal-Sting)



Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Jul. 15, 2013

Chapter 1



RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - Dual - Jul. 15, 2013

Use spoilers, first off, haha.
Pretty good story, only a few grammar mistakes.
However, there are a few things that I'd like to point out:
-At first, the main characters bey is described as horrible, then later as "the best from the Japanese set."
-You don't really explain how the main character knows the name of this random beyblade he conveniently found.
-Where the heck did he get all that repair stuff!?
Overall, it's pretty good, just a few things to think about.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - 6 God - Jul. 15, 2013

There's a spelling mistake, "Spray Paint" I do kind of like it, but it oukd be tweaked some, but overall its kinda good.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Jul. 15, 2013

(Jul. 15, 2013  4:43 AM)Ultramarine Wrote: Use spoilers, first off, haha.
Pretty good story, only a few grammar mistakes.
However, there are a few things that I'd like to point out:
-At first, the main characters bey is described as horrible, then later as "the best from the Japanese set."
-You don't really explain how the main character knows the name of this random beyblade he conveniently found.
-Where the heck did he get all that repair stuff!?
Overall, it's pretty good, just a few things to think about.

a: best of the japanese set, but none the less: A bad bey
b: he had all this stuff. unexplicably, I know, but soon enough, things will make sense.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - DefStamina88 - Jul. 20, 2013

Overall it's okay, but seeing that Ultramarine had trouble understanding, I'd say to clarify some of this stuff. Some readers might not know what you say when you say "best of the Japanese Set". Also, as Ultramarine said, Spoilers, Spoilers, Spoilers.

I like its neatness. Kinda similar to how I wrote/write.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Jul. 22, 2013

Im taking character requests, by the way. Also, thanks for the suggestions. Chapter 2 is coming after my vacation. I have to go to florida from wednesday to august 7th.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Jul. 27, 2013

Chapter 2



RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - DefStamina88 - Jul. 27, 2013

Content has improved quite a bit. Another thing you should do as well; Take the chapters, put them in the first post (OP), put each chapter i a spoiler, and keep it like that, so nobody's scrolling through pages looking for a certain chapter.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - eaglenemesis - Jul. 28, 2013

(Jul. 27, 2013  9:14 AM)KingCepheusIII Wrote: I found out theres internet connection in Florida, so that's cool.

Character requests, please.

how about "The Masked Dragon"


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - DefStamina88 - Jul. 28, 2013

Come on, guys. This is getting kinda despicable IMO, cause the chapter's aren't organized in the OP, everything's disjointed, no descriptions are being given for the character requests. I'm getting kinda lost through all of this, and it's making me not wanna read anymore.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Jul. 29, 2013

(Jul. 28, 2013  1:51 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote: Come on, guys. This is getting kinda despicable IMO, cause the chapter's aren't organized in the OP, everything's disjointed, no descriptions are being given for the character requests. I'm getting kinda lost through all of this, and it's making me not wanna read anymore.

i dont know how do this stuff

Chapter 3 is up, in the first post


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - KingCepheusIII - Aug. 31, 2013

sorry guys
i didnt have computer access for a while

Chapter 3
[/spoiler]


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 01, 2013

Seriously. This has been said enough times. Put your chapters in the first post!


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - Dual - Sep. 01, 2013

You really shouldn't be rude like that.
Especially since its not required, just suggested.
Don't get so worked up.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 01, 2013

I wasn't being rud I was merely trying to help. All the mis types an punctuation is from my phone.


RE: Beyblade: Metal Sting - Dual - Sep. 01, 2013

Saying "seriously" and using exclamation points comes off as if you're yelling or being forceful.