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Could Someone Word Count my Story - Aqua Roxas - Feb. 16, 2013 Don't mind this, Insomaniac. Okay so I have been assigned a story to write under 750 words or less not including two letter words. So could someone review it and do a word count not including two letter words thank you. Calm, cool, with an air of confidence the man entered the rather small apartment. He glanced at the dirty bed, the smelly clothes and socks and the unwashed dishes. “You up for it?” he asked the owner of this dirty apartment. “No he is not,” cried a woman wearing a dirty skirt, having blond, wavy hair, entering the room. A child clung on to her skirt, frightened and shy. His Mother was never angry, not even when he broke something. “Excuse my wife, Mariam, sir,” apologized the owner. “Mariam, could you excuse us.” The woman hastily left the room. The child stayed a few seconds before leaving for games outside. “Of course, my dear Umar,” said the stranger. Unbeknownst to them, the child stared at them from the window with a curious look in his eye. The person observed Umar, although the latter was poor, he was a fine gentleman, with excellent manners and very sharp if given the correct instructions. He would be perfect for the job. “I know you want me to become a businessman due to my high IQ, sir” said Umar, “but all I want is a simple job. What would my family think if I left them to make money abroad? Can’t you fix a Pakistani job for me?” “Papa!” cried the child running into his father arms, “you won’t leave us will you?” “No, not at all, Hamza,” said Umar, gently, “now please say salam to the gentleman and please go and help Ami with the house chores.” “Assalamualaikum,” said the child politely and promptly left. “The pay will be high,” tempted the person once the child was out of sight. “No amount of money,” quoted Umar, “is worth even close to the worth of my family.” “Well if you do change your mind, do contact me, here’s my card,” said the man, sadly, handing him a card. “An opportunity like this comes once in a lifetime,” he added. The card read, Mr. Amer. Businessman. 03212843268 Chapter 2 For the next few days Umar was very distracted, he would not play with his son, who started to feel lonely. He would not work properly feeling distracted. He couldn’t sleep; every time he fell asleep he began to dream of haunting images of his family in all sorts of dangers. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to make money for his family but he wanted them to feel comfortable and safe. What would Hamza think? What would his wife think? Part of him wanted to leave and learn about London, his destination but he didn’t want his wife to think that he was going only for the fun, he wanted her to know that he also wanted his family’s safety and protection. He often noticed Hamza crying and calling his Mother whenever he needed her. It is so easy to go to your parents whenever you want and let them to do most of the work. But of course he couldn’t do that, his Mother and Father had died long ago. Silver tears ran down his cheeks. What could he do? No parents could help him now. He quickly brushed aside his tears, got up and glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. No matter, he thought, Amer has got to be awake. He picked up his phone and the card Amer had left him. He quickly dialed the number. After a few minutes a person picked it up. “Mr. Amer here,” came a sleepy voice from the line. “Assalamualaikum,” replied Umar. “Amer this is Umar.” “My dear Umar!” exclaimed Amer joyously, his drowsiness fading, “so tell me are you in or out?” “I’m in,” answered Umar, “but I- “I am very happy that you agree,” interrupted Amer. “I wasn’t finished speaking,” said Umar, “but I demand that while I’m gone you make sure that my family has every need of theirs taken care of.” “Hm,” said Amer, “I think I could arrange that.” “Then we have a deal?” inquired Umar. “Indeed,” said Amer. Chapter 3 “You what?” demanded his boss the next day. “Yes, sir,” replied Umar, “I want to resign from this business.” “Just when I was thinking of a promotion,” said his boss. “Kindly take my name off the employee list, my dear Shayan,” requested Umar. “Just pack your stuff and leave,” grumbled his boss; his best employee had left. That night Umar told his family his plans. “Don’t worry Hamza,” assured Umar, “I’ll come every vacation and during Eid and such festivals.” His wife reluctantly agreed to this change of plans. “When is your flight?” she questioned. “Day after tomorrow,” answered Umar. Umar attempted not to show how sad he was upon leaving his family. He acted optimistic when in front of his family but used to ponder over his decisions when he was alone. The next day Umar requested his wife to do some of the packing as he had to go somewhere important. “Of course,” his wife had said trying not to show her own sadness when Hamza was around. Where did Umar have to go? Only to Amer to request a part of his salary to be given in advance. Amer gladly gave his salary revealing to Umar that it was his responsibility to pass on the salary of his company’s employees. Once he had collected the money he went to the market to buy the biggest toy railway station he could buy. He returned home after getting some clothes as England would be cold at this time of the year. He wrapped the railway station in golden, shiny wrapping paper very neatly. Later at Dusk Umar gifted it to Hamza who when glanced at it, jumped with delight. “You are awesome,” he thanked. Excuse the Pakistani names and places as I know most of you are not Pakistanis but I was told to use my own country names. RE: Could Someone Word Count my Story - YsTrY7oN - Feb. 16, 2013 You can create Story threads, but threads like this aren't allowed. This will get closed.