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+--- Thread: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) (/Thread-Beyblade-Next-Generation-A-fan-fic)
Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - Jenner - Nov. 06, 2012
Prologue
Long ago, two star fragments fell from the sky. The fragments took shape as strange metal tops. But these weren't just any tops they had amazing power. From these, mankind formed many others just like them from the stars, but they could not match the incredible power of the first. They used these beys to battle however, their overwhelming power got the best of men. They became greedy and used one of the original beys, L-Drago, to conquer the world. But there were some who opposed. Their leader used the incredible bey Pegasus and defeated L-Drago, sealing him in ice in a mountain in Koma Village. Many years passed and the bey Pegasus soon passed into the hands of Ryo Hagane, a powerful blader. But the other bey fell into the hands of the dark and twisted Ryuga. Ryuga battled Ryo and defeated him sending the mountain to tumble on him. Before it did however, Ryo threw Pegasus to his only son, Ginga Hagane, in hopes that he would defeat Ryuga one day, And he did just that along with become one of the best bladers in the world. Ginga died in the year twenty thirty at the hands of a dark and powerful blader named Koren. Koren vanished after that battled and hasn't been seen since. Now let us move to the year twenty sixty, thirty years since Ginga's death. In the city, a new blader seems to have come to town...
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - Kai-V - Nov. 06, 2012
That should have been posted in the Your Creations forum. I will move it.
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - SilverChronos - Nov. 07, 2012
First of all, add spoilers. Second, I saw 2 mistakes...
1. On the second to last line, you put "battled" instead of "battle"
2. On the last line, you switched from the village to a city. Cities are way bigger than villages.
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - Jenner - Nov. 07, 2012
(Nov. 07, 2012 1:25 AM)ukdl123 Wrote: First of all, add spoilers. Second, I saw 2 mistakes...
1. On the second to last line, you put "battled" instead of "battle"
2. On the last line, you switched from the village to a city. Cities are way bigger than villages.
Sry bout the 1st mistake typed in a hurry, 2nd it's a different place, NOT Koma Village, it's an unnamed city atm.
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - Rush - Nov. 07, 2012
Nooooooo!!! Ginga's dead?!?!
Anyways, kinda vague, but good story so far!
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - SilverChronos - Nov. 07, 2012
(Nov. 07, 2012 3:32 AM)Jenner Wrote:(Nov. 07, 2012 1:25 AM)ukdl123 Wrote: First of all, add spoilers. Second, I saw 2 mistakes...
1. On the second to last line, you put "battled" instead of "battle"
2. On the last line, you switched from the village to a city. Cities are way bigger than villages.
Sry bout the 1st mistake typed in a hurry, 2nd it's a different place, NOT Koma Village, it's an unnamed city atm.
It still seems to me that when I read this, I think it is placed in koma village. It was mentioned very often. Otherwise, KIU.
RE: Beyblade: Next Generation (A fan fic) - Dual - Nov. 07, 2012
Yahoo! Gingkas gone! Now everyones gonna kill me...anyway, promising story! Im gonna read this.