My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 19, 2012
So i decided to write a story in my holidays. This story is not about beys. SO ENJOY READING!!!
ProlougeFrom the start of my life i was interested in the different forms of life. I had it in my genes, my dad was a neurogenetic engineer, a man who worked with the behavior patterns of different living things, but his future bent towards the mutancy side. He got more and more interested in the nucleotide sequences of different living things. This act of his would change the fate of the world forever. A drastic change in the evolution sequence of man, so drastic that our future of evolution had to be killed.....
Chapter 1:The begginingMy eyesight was blurring, my eyes were shutting, I could feel my life and breathe slip out of me. I gathered everything remaining in me, my good memories, my rage, my knowledge and charged with every atom of my life and energy and stabbed the creature which I spent half of my life on to research about and create, and fell unconscious on the ground doubtful about living.
I know you are wondering what I am talking about. I will tell it to you from where it started to where it ended.
I was born as a child with a natural attitude of a creator, an innovator, questioning each and every aspect of life. My father was the boss of a company involved in genetics called Genolife. He had a soft side for genetic modifications. I lived in a time where scientists were trying to find ways to mutate the genes of living things to make them smarter, stronger and most of all more human-like.
When I was six, my father took me on a tour of his office. He showed me the different tests on living creatures. This inspired me a lot to do something new, something breathtaking, something deathdefying but definitely not deadly.
When I was twelve, I cracked the DNA code of a monkey. It wasn't very hard, but just the opposite. When my father came back from work that day he was surprised to see that I had done something like this with such less resources.
"Luca, my son, you are destined to become a great man. You will do something so great that the whole world will aspire to become like you. Chase your dreams and make your old man proud!" he told me.
I grew up with Stanley Cohen and Craig Venter as my inspirations. Everyday was a challenge to do better than tomorrow.
One day when I was sixteen, I got a call from my father, a call which put a dangerous twist in my life.
"Luca *pant, pant, wheeze, cough*, listen to me very carefully, I am working on a new genetically modified nanobot missile which can destroy the DNA selected by the user. So a terrorist gang showed up and stole yours and moms DNA samples and the missiles. So I want you to make small alterations in both of your DNA's."
Then there was a sound of a gun firing and a man dying. A deep and rough voice came online.
"Hello Luca, I bet you're very angry right so I'll make a deal with you, I kill you and your mom and take away your sorrow by sending you up there. How about that? Huh!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" that devilish laugh was more than he could stand.
"Get here you cowardly ******!! I'll whoop your sorry *** and send you crying home to your mom!! *******!!!!!" I shouted in rage.
I couldn't stand anymore and fell unconscious on the ground.
Chapter 2:My biggest first mistakeWhen I woke up we were still at home.
"MOM!!! Come here fast and get my genetic modification kit with you!!! HURRY!!!!", I screamed.
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Here.", she said as she gave it to me.
"Now come here quick, we don't have much time.", I said
"I'll take your blood sample.", I said as I put a syringe in her upper arm.
"Luca, what happened? Why are you taking my blood sample? Why are you in such a rush?", she said, having one of the oddest facial expressions a human could show.
I explained everything to her while modifying her DNA. It was a long and dangerous process, if even one thing went wrong the person either dies or wishes he could die depending upon their appearance. When I was done with modifying her DNA, I got to work on mine.
As soon as both of ours was done we packed up and were ready to leave, just then we heard a wild wind, and then a missile blasted into our house. Nothing was being destroyed, but then the nanobots started feeding on my mother. She screamed in pain and signaled me to run away.
After I left, I took the metro train. In it I was checking what had gone wrong in my mom's modifications. Then it hit me, I made a mistake.
I will update the OP with new chapters every 1 or 2 days.
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 19, 2012
From the start of my life I was interested in the different forms of life. It ran through my genes I suppose, my father was a neurogenetic (I think you need to check that again, it's misspelled or nonexistent) engineer. He was a man who worked with the behavior patterns of different living things, but time would turn him towards research on mutants. He became more attached, to the length of being obsessed with the nucleotide sequences of different living things. This act of his (What did he do?) would change the fate of the world forever. A drastic change in the evolution sequence of man, so drastic that our what we would become, had to be killed...
Edited it and gave some comments.
Seems interesting, I'd like to see more from you.
RE: My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 19, 2012
I made up neurogenetic its a branch which i want to create, i am inspired to go after the mutation of genes but im also scared that there would be divi e intervention or something like that.
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 19, 2012
Well... That seems interesting. Have fun doing it...
"Man goes too far in his experiments on himself, and 'g0d' punishes him."
To be honest, that's way too mainstream. Full Metal Alchemist is what this could potentially be.
RE: My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 19, 2012
The twists in the middle will give u goosebumps. The begging is like this, its a roller coaster ride later
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 19, 2012
I love roller coaster books. Don't disappoint me. You've already lowered my hopes though... I'd really like to see them twists. Hope they're as random as some people need them to be.
RE: My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 19, 2012
Heres chap 1!!
My eyesight was blurring, my eyes were shutting, I could feel my life and breathe slip out of me. I gathered everything remaining in me, my good memories, my rage, my knowledge and charged with every atom of my life and energy and stabbed the creature which I spent half of my life on to research about and create, and fell unconscious on the ground doubtful about living.I know you are wondering what I am talking about. I will tell it to you from where it started to where it ended. I was born as a child with a natural attitude of a creator, an innovator, questioning each and every aspect of life. My father was the boss of a company involved in genetics called Genolife. He had a soft side for genetic modifications. I lived in a time where scientists were trying to find ways to mutate the genes of living things to make them smarter, stronger and most of all more human-like. When I was six, my father took me on a tour of his office. He showed me the different tests on living creatures. This inspired me a lot to do something new, something breathtaking, something deathdefying but definitely not deadly. When I was twelve, I cracked the DNA code of a monkey. It wasn't very hard, but just the opposite. When my father came back from work that day he was surprised to see that I had done something like this with such less resources. "Luca, my son, you are destined to become a great man. You will do something so great that the whole world will aspire to become like you. Chase your dreams and make your old man proud!" he told me. I grew up with Stanley Cohen and Craig Venter as my inspirations. Everyday was a challenge to do better than tomorrow. One day when I was sixteen, I got a call from my father, a call which put a dangerous twist in my life. "Luca *pant, pant, wheeze, cough*, listen to me very carefully, I am working on a new genetically modified nanobot missile which can destroy the DNA selected by the user. So a terrorist gang showed up and stole yours and moms DNA samples and the missiles. So I want you to make small alterations in both of your DNA's."Then there was a sound of a gun firing and a man dying. A deep and rough voice came online. "Hello Luca, I bet you're very angry right so I'll make a deal with you, I kill you and your mom and take away your sorrow by sending you up there. How about that? Huh!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" that devilish laugh was more than he could stand. "Get here you cowardly ******!! I'll whoop your sorry *** and send you crying home to your mom!! *******!!!!!" I shouted in rage.I couldn't stand anymore and fell unconscious on the ground.
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 19, 2012
Grammar, capitalization, and basic errors... detected.
The plot is decent, but lacks description.
RE: My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 20, 2012
Here is chap 2!!!
Chapter 2:My biggest first mistakeWhen I woke up we were still at home.
"MOM!!! Come here fast and get my genetic modification kit with you!!! HURRY!!!!", I screamed.
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Here.", she said as she gave it to me.
"Now come here quick, we don't have much time.", I said
"I'll take your blood sample.", I said as I put a syringe in her upper arm.
"Luca, what happened? Why are you taking my blood sample? Why are you in such a rush?", she said, having one of the oddest facial expressions a human could show.
I explained everything to her while modifying her DNA. It was a long and dangerous process, if even one thing went wrong the person either dies or wishes he could die depending upon their appearance. When I was done with modifying her DNA, I got to work on mine.
As soon as both of ours was done we packed up and were ready to leave, just then we heard a wild wind, and then a missile blasted into our house. Nothing was being destroyed, but then the nanobots started feeding on my mother. She screamed in pain and signaled me to run away.
After I left, I took the metro train. In it I was checking what had gone wrong in my mom's modifications. Then it hit me, I made a mistake.
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 20, 2012
So as regarding the man character, he was 'perfect' all before the incident in chapter 2? Impossible.
RE: My mutant friend - Syco - Oct. 20, 2012
dude this is fantasy fiction anything is possible
RE: My mutant friend - Viral - Oct. 20, 2012
Note that it also has to make sense.
This story seems like it's going to end soon, by the looks of it you'll probably run out of ideas. The story seems like it is going too fast. WAY too fast, everythings here then here.
It's like How do you like that HAHAHA and then the main character faints. Come on, you need a better plot.
KIU!
RE: My mutant friend - Kujikato - Oct. 20, 2012
As well as the main character seeming to be a Mary Sue. It's a decent idea, but you need to expand. it.
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