Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
Prolouge
In the year 7194, aliens have invaded earth. They have come to destroy
all of humanity. The only way to stop them, is with our own beys.
Right now there is a war of humans vs aliens. And a new group of military soldiers, the BeyGhosts, had been created from the best 4 bladers in the entire world.
Group leader, Alec. Group's 2nd, Zakorho, Group's 4th, Ichiro and the Group's 3rd, Kai, That's me.
And this group was created by the Military in order to kill the most aliens possible without being discovered.
And their first mission ever has started. To save the pentagon!!!
Chapter 1 "The salvation of the pentagon"
"Let's go, let's go!!!" The BeyGhosts' leader Alec shouted to the rest of the
group, "The enemy has launched a bomb at us!! Go,Go,Go!!!!!". Kai was
left behind. "Where did the group go??" Kai asked. "Kai!!! Come on!!!! The
aliens are getting away!!!" Ichiro said when he noticed Kai was left
behind. Both soldiers caught up with the rest of the team. The rest of the
team got to cover with some rocks and stone mini-walls. "There they are,
soldiers," Alec told the rest of the team. "The aliens are a few miles
ahead.". The aliens were in the pentagon. They were gonna have to
invade it. "Let's go, team!!" Alec shouted. The team went over the stones.
When they saw an alien by them, Zakorho readied up his launcher. "Go,
shoot, Blaze!" Zakorho shouted. The alien heard Zakorho, the alien turned
in the direction Sol Blaze was launched. The alien took out his launcher
and bey out of his belt but was too late. Sol Blaze has cut the aliens neck
making the head and body split apart. "Threat neutralized." Alec said. The
team moved up closer to the pentagon. Zokorho picked up the dead
alien's laucher and bey, in case he lost his old launcher or bey. The bey
was a Cyclone Herculeo. Another alien came close by. This was Kai's
target. "Go shoot!!! Zurafa!!!" Kai launched his Poison Zurafa. The alien
didn't notice the bey. The bey killed the alien. Ichiro went a little further
than the rest of the team. "No, what are you doing, Ichiro?!?!?" Zokorho
asked. "I'm going a little further." Ichiro answered. An alien noticed Ichiro
moving. Ichiro didn't see the alien though. The alien took out his launcher
and bey. So did Alec. The alien aimed at Ichiro, and Alec aimed at the
alien. The alien launched it's bey and Alec launched it faster. Alec's bey
seems to have clashed with the alien's bey and bounced straight to the
alien. The alien was instantly killed. Alec collected his and the alien's
beyblade. They were on the door of the pentagon. "Ok, open the door
carefully." Alec told the rest of the team. Zokorho and Ichiro opened each
of the two doors. Alec and Kai went in and checked the room that they
were in incase they were infronting some aliens. "We're all clear." Alec
and Kai both said. Zokorho and Ichiro both got in the pentagon. There was
a stairway to go to the second floor. Two went first. "It's all clear." The
two soldiers said. The other two soldiers left went up to the second floor.
They all regrouped. They covered by a wall. There were 20 aliens, and
there were 4 of them. Kai came up with a plan. He put on an oxygen
mask. "What are you doing??" Alec asked. "You'll see. Now put on your
oxygen masks." Kai aswered. "Go shoot!!!" Poison Zurafa went to the
ground. The aliens didn't spot the bey. "Poison Ivy!!!! Zurafa!!!!!" Axel
shouts. Zurafa shoots out purple goo and the aliens die. The rest of the
team goes away from cover. Kai picked up his bey. There was a door
across the room and the room was clear from aliens. "The V.I.P is
probably in there!!!!" Alec shouted. "GO,GO,GO!!!". Everybody started
running as fast as they could. They opened the door. There were 5 aliens
in that room and an UFO taking the president with them. They easily kill
the aliens. Alec takes out his Walky-Talkie and talked with the chief.
"Chief, This is BeyGhost leader. We lost the VIP!!!" Alec told. "Well come
back to headquarters for your next mission." Chief said through the talkie.
"We'll be there, over." Alec said. "There will be a helicopter in your
location in 10 seconds. 10 seconds later The helicopter arrived.
The team got on and were sent back to headquarters. Chapter 2: A new mission
"I can't believe you guys couldn't retrieve the president!!" Chief yelled to the BeyGhosts when they came back from their mission.
"We know, but it was a hard mission," Alec said, "right guys??" Alec asked the rest of the team.
"Well, you guys are 18," Chief said. "So.... wait, I have a perfect mission for you guys." Chief realized.
"What is it, Chief??" Alec asked. "The president is going to London for a U.N. meeting in two weeks." Chief said.
"So what do you want us to do??" Zokorho asked. "Good question, Zokorho," Chief said. "What I want you guys to do is..." Chief continued.
Chief went to his laptop and hacked into the Secret Services of the U.S. account and put replaced four people on the "employees" list on the website with the names 'Alec, Zokorho, Kai, and Ichiro' to the list.
The BeyGhosts saw this. "What are you doing, Chief?" Kai asked. "I'm sending you guys to London to work by the president." "What?!?!" The team asked.
"Alec, you will work as a janitor." Chief said. "Okay." Alec replied. "Kai, you will be the janintor for the second floor." Chief said. "Okay." Kai said. "What about me?" Zokorho asked. "Oh yes, you and Ichiro will be the new bodyguards for the president while he is in London." Chief said. "Alright!!!" Zokorho and Ichiro both shouted.
"Go to work, you guys have your first day in 20 minutes." Chief said. "I'll get you guys a private jet." Chief said.
The private jet came already. The BeyGhosts got on it and in 10 minutes the jet dropped the BeyGhosts at the U.N. building. They went to the main desk.
"Yes, hello. We're here to work. We are the new employees." Alec told the employee at the main desk. "Okay, it's right over there." The worker at the main desk said while pointing at a door at her right. "Thank you," Alec said. "Come on, guys. We have a job to do.". They walked to the door without holding anything back.
Reply if you liked it or not. If I messed up on something, tell me, don't hide it forever. Speak out.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - Dual - Sep. 19, 2012
Just a few spaces were there should be spaces and there arent but otherwise pretty good. How did you know my name was Alec?
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
Your name is Alec, I didn't even know (just kidding!!!! It was said on your thread on the "Introduce Yourself" forum).
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - Dual - Sep. 19, 2012
Oh yah, that was so long ago i forgot Xd!
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
Hah, can't believe you actually forgot where you put personal information.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - Cookie Bouquets - Sep. 19, 2012
Hmmm, yoir dialogue is formattrd wrong.
Ex.
"I'm awesome," I say.
"Shut up Shirayuki!!!" you reply.
You slap me across the face.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - ChinaBladeâ„¢ - Sep. 19, 2012
Hmm...
Interesting plot, few grammatical mistakes, and it's all bunched up.
(Example: You put "safe" instead of "save" in the last line of the prolouge.)
Try to fix that.
Good luck.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
where?? I can't see where I messed up.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - Cookie Bouquets - Sep. 19, 2012
Second line in chapter 1
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - ghost22 - Sep. 19, 2012
hard to read but its nice
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
seriously, i cant find it
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - Cookie Bouquets - Sep. 19, 2012
Dialogue needs its own seperate line!
Like I said, read my dialogue guide... I am on my phone and I dun want to dig into the chapter and fix the mistakes.
RE: Beyblade: A hero's battle for humanity!! - kaihiwatari5673 - Sep. 19, 2012
OK, I'll fix some stuff. Not everything though.
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