+- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org)
+-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations)
+--- Thread: [beyblade story] Ryuto (/Thread-beyblade-story-Ryuto)
[beyblade story] Ryuto - pranzdiv123 - Sep. 18, 2012
Prolouge-
Spoiler (Click to View)
Chapter 1-
Spoiler (Click to View)
Spoiler (Click to View)
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - TakasuMouce - Sep. 18, 2012
You put capitals where they were not necessary and did not put some where they were necessary. You also forgot some spaces in between words. You also could put some punctuation, as some sentences sound like run-ons.
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - pranzdiv123 - Sep. 18, 2012
(Sep. 18, 2012 3:19 PM)Takasu Wrote: You put capitals where they were not necessary and did not put some where they were necessary. You also forgot some spaces in between words. You also could put some punctuation, as some sentences sound like run-ons.
Can you please tell me where i have made mistakes? if you are talking about words like Omega Dragonis,Ryuga,RyutoThe First etc.. they are proper nouns and hence will come in capitals if you still want to say something or any other person wants to give me tips please pm me.
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - TakasuMouce - Sep. 18, 2012
(Sep. 18, 2012 2:52 PM)pranzdiv123 Wrote: This is a connected story to the story known as [beyblade story] but this is of another character known as Ryuto with his bey Omega Dragonis rule the land of Dragons which is known for its dark power and despair. His family left him with the legendary bey passed on by his ancestor who had received this bey as a gift from his brother Ryuga, the legend blader and master bey L Drago Destroy. Ryutos ancestor's name was Ryuto the First. I know all of you will be thinking how their names are the same. Well he was named Ryuto because he had the same powers which the Legend Blader Ryuto The First had. You would also be thinking how the bey Omega Dragonis has dark power. Well lets find out in the first chapter!
I quickly edited it.
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - pranzdiv123 - Sep. 18, 2012
(Sep. 18, 2012 3:55 PM)Takasu Wrote:(Sep. 18, 2012 2:52 PM)pranzdiv123 Wrote: This is a connected story to the story known as [beyblade story] but this is of another character known as Ryuto with his bey Omega Dragonis rule the land of Dragons which is known for its dark power and despair. His family left him with the legendary bey passed on by his ancestor who had received this bey as a gift from his brother Ryuga, the legend blader and master bey L Drago Destroy. Ryutos ancestor's name was Ryuto the First. I know all of you will be thinking how their names are the same. Well he was named Ryuto because he had the same powers which the Legend Blader Ryuto The First had. You would also be thinking how the bey Omega Dragonis has dark power. Well lets find out in the first chapter!
I quickly edited it.
Thank you for your help and Chapter 1 is up!!
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - ghost22 - Sep. 19, 2012
wow its...wow
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - pranzdiv123 - Sep. 19, 2012
(Sep. 19, 2012 12:38 AM)kyoya321 Wrote: wow its...wow
I will be uploading chapter 2 soon.
Sorry for the double post but just wanted to say that Chapter 2 is up!!!
RE: [beyblade story] Ryuto - Dum Spiro Pugno - Sep. 22, 2012
This is a beautiful work of art. I love the story.