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+--- Thread: The Leap ( A poem attempt) (/Thread-The-Leap-A-poem-attempt)
The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Tetsu - May. 25, 2012
I'm new to this poem thing. I gave it a shot.
(I actually used this for a school project)
Questions? CnC?
The Leap
I look down in horror
as I get close to the edge.
My toes curl,
my toenails scrape the board.
I leap towards the light.
As I fall, I try to catch a butterfly.
I feel my emotions change,
about girls and about life.
I'm almost halfway,
through the dive,
I feel like I'm an adult,
although,
I'm not mature enough yet.
My back hurts.
My eye sight is going.
My body aches.
I see darkness,
then I reach the light.
I look down in horror
as I get close to the edge.
My toes curl,
my toenails scrape the board.
I leap towards the light.
As I fall, I try to catch a butterfly.
I feel my emotions change,
about girls and about life.
I'm almost halfway,
through the dive,
I feel like I'm an adult,
although,
I'm not mature enough yet.
My back hurts.
My eye sight is going.
My body aches.
I see darkness,
then I reach the light.
*Prepares army for hate*
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Demonic - Jun. 24, 2012
Its ok...
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - ChinaBladeâ„¢ - Jun. 24, 2012
I like it.
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Sparta - Jun. 24, 2012
I get it. It's life.
Interesting...I think I liked it. It had an interesting rhythm to it, but I'm not sure what the butterfly line was all about.
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Eternal-E - Jun. 25, 2012
for a min i thought you were jumping off a diving board. mabye u wer... into a pool of light? or life?
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - sarabscientist - Jun. 25, 2012
Hmm, I get this poem is about growing up then dying. You're falling all the way so basically showing how time flies by you.
Quote:As I fall, I try to catch a butterfly.Methinks this means that you tried to "hold on to your childhood innocence(represented by a butterfly). But time(motion of falling down) prevents you from attaining that.
LOL, I'm over-analysing thisXD
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Duck - Jun. 25, 2012
I love this! It's beautiful! Because I am a nut, I agree with Insomniac's analysis of the butterfly line. Ah, life...
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - Tetsu - Jun. 25, 2012
Woah...odd.
I left for a couple of days and there was positive feedback.
Insomniac explained the butterfly part perfectly.
Also yes, he is jumping off of a diving board, instead of heading up towards the light, he is going down, through life.
A pool of life is a good name for what he is jumping into.
RE: The Leap ( A poem attempt) - sarabscientist - Jun. 25, 2012
Yes, I tend to sound like a nut when analysing abstract things. Haha.