Chapter 1

Our Mandarin lesson just finished, all the fun is just about to end.
The next lesson is History, I was devastated, like a person sunk in soft and smelly sh*t. My mother always said : "Things that passed, let it go, don't bring it up again." History is all about past incidents, bringing it up again and again, I don't even know what use is there.

10 minutes have passed, Mrs Horatio still didn't show up. Normally, she would be so on time it made us feel uncomfortable. Now, she's late by 10 minutes, which made us all so happy.

Mrs Horatio's teaching was outstanding, when she starts talking about History, it's like a moving train,  chugga...... chugga...... the whole class is like the people in the cabin,  so bored they start drifting into dreamland. Chugga...... Chugga..... Poo! She shouts, waking us up, then she will go on and on about why we shouldn't sleep during class.

Hey, we didn't sleep on purpose. She was the one who made us sleep. And then she scolds us for sleeping.

"Maybe......she gave birth?" Someone in the class said.

Mrs Horatio's stomach was pretty big, wouldn't be a mystery if she gave birth.

Jack ran out to the front of the class and happily said :" Oh yeah, she gave birth she gave birth, she gave birth to a baby! Hahaha, hahaha , two months , two months, two months holiday!"

Nicole walked out, took a broom, took out the stick and held it in place. 

Lincoln ran out too and shouted :"Let's do the Limbo dance."

"Wha-, wha-, what is the Libo dance?" said Novelle with a puzzled look.

"It's Limbo, not Libo" Lincoln replied.

I also didn't know what the Limbo dance was. I saw Lincoln and Nicole took the stick and held it across each other.

Jack bended his body and moved forward. He was singing " she gave birth she gave birth", his legs dancing and went under the stick.

Jack's performance won everybody's claps.

All the boys in the class started standing up one by one, bending their bodies, following the rhythm of the claps. Some succeeded, some failed.

Lincoln's and Nicole's stick was going lower and lower, those who accepted the challenge either hit the stick or fell on the floor.

Even Jack tried again and again, but it was to no avail. 

Nobody wanted to step forward anymore.

Jack started calling out names :"Adam."

Adam started dancing, his strong body easily went through. All the girls started screaming.

I believed I could also go through. My body's flexible, leg muscles aren't too bad, but I didn't want to go through. I am small sized, haven't fully went through 
puberty and I'm just your average looking guy, even if I went through like Adam, I wouldn't be able to make the girls scream like that.

Jack looked at me. 

Don't call me, don't call me. I shook my head at him.

Jack didn't call me, but Nicole started shouting : Taylor! Taylor!

Lincoln shouted too : Taylor! Taylor! You're the boss! Come out here!

I was a little annoyed. I kept on shaking my head. Nobody could make me go out there. Then Crystal who was sitting behind me patted my shoulder and whispered :"Taylor."

I saw the look in her eyes, I can't let her down. Sure, nobody could make me go out there, except for Crystal. She didn't say anything, but her eyes told me that she believed I could do it. Her eyes also said that I needed to prove it to everyone. Her eyes, in those few seconds, had encouraged me. Her magic, could make me do things that I originally did not want to do. I gave in.

I had no choice. I walked out. Following the rhythm of the claps, I bended my body. My head was looking at the ceiling, focusing, ignoring all the noise. I used my legs and waists' strength, pushing the force down, slowing moving towards through the stick.

Lincoln accidentally pushed me , and said :"Taylor."

Don't push me, don't disturb me. I don't want to hear anything, like everything on the world has vanished, leaving only me alive. 

I continued moving forward, but I was blocked by something in front. I lost my balance, I used my hands to stabilize myself again, I felt like a spider.

I looked left and right, Lincoln and Nicole vanished.

Mrs Horatio was standing in front of me. My knee hit her legs. Looking at her from this angle, her stomach looks bigger and rounder than usual.

I tried to stand up, but it was pretty hard.

"Taylor, stand up!"

In my spider position, I couldn't.

"No, Mrs Horatio."

What I wanted to say was that I couldn't stand up.

Mrs Horatio looked a bit angry. She must've misunderstood what I meant. Thinking that I was going against her requests,  refusing to stand up.

"Taylor, stand up!"

I tried pushing myself up, but I failed.

"Taylor, stand up!"

Mrs Horatio reached out her hand to help me up.

I stood up.

"Taylor, listen, you must go back now." Mrs Horatio said with a serious face.

She asked me to go back. Was she expelling me?

Mrs Horatio moved aside, revealing someone else : My uncle. He was looking down, eyes were red.

I knew what had happened. Gone. Everything's gone.

I packed my bag, peeked at Crystal and left the class.

Uncle walked slowly, I followed behind him, walked down the stairs then out of the school.

He opened his car door and let me in, it smelled like smoke.

He closed the door. It was hot and smelly in there. 

Uncle's back was against the car door. He was smoking. My aunt didn't let him smoke at home.

When he was driving, he did not speak about anything.

I did not understand.

I didn't think it would be so fast. At a time like this, Why the heck am I dancing?

Chapter 2

The car passed my house’s gate, but Uncle forgot to stop the car. Only then he realized he went to wrong way, so he reversed the car.

He stopped the car in front of a tree, under the many leaves, then Uncle said softly :” Taylor, your mother……your mother……”

Uncle started crying softly, even though he didn’t say anything, I already understood what he meant.

I didn’t cry. My mind was messed up. I knew incidents like this would happen sooner or later. Last year, my mother was diagnosed with Leukaemia, we all knew she would go one day. After only one year, she really left. Even though I was heartbroken, but I didn’t know why I couldn’t cry.

I went down the car and started walking towards the house, then my uncle shouted :”Kneel down!”

I knelt down.

“Crawl back home! You can’t walk, you must crawl!”

Our house was only about ten steps away, I stabilized myself and slowly started crawling towards our house. The ground was filled with overgrown grass, Mimosa and some rocks, which cut my legs.

Our dog, Charlie came near me and licked my head and ear.

Uncle walked to the gate and shouted :” Sis! Taylor’s home!”

Charlie walked to my Uncle and licked his leg too.
My Indian neighbors walked out only to see me walk like a dog on the street, then they started laughing their asses off.

I did not feel embarrassed. Everybody’s mother will die someday, why feel embarrassed?

I crawled all the way to the gate, took off my shoes and went into the house. I saw my mother lying in the middle of the living room. She was lying on a straw mat, wearing a traditional dress. Her face looked so peaceful as if she were sleeping. She doesn’t need to feel pain anymore, she also doesn’t need to scream in pain anymore. She didn’t sleep for two days, but now she can finally sleep forever.

Two days ago, mother would groan day and night. Uncle would ask me to go upstairs and sleep with Clinton but I didn’t want to, I didn’t mind mother’s groaning, I can still sleep. My aunt said:” Your mother needs a woman to take care of her at night.” I could only take my pillow and bolster and sleep in Clinton’s room. I didn’t sleep well during those two days. I needed mother’s sound. All these years I’ve been sleeping with my mother. I believed that without me at her side, she would not be able to sleep well too. But now, mother finally slept.

Uncle started crying like a little baby when he saw mother like that.

He shouted :”Sister! Why did you have to go?”

Then he slapped me because he saw that I didn’t cry. Hard.

“Cry! Why don’t you cry?”

B*tch. If I can’t cry, it’s not my problem. I hoped he would slap me again so that I could cry.

My aunt came and tugged my shirt and said :” Taylor, let’s eat.”

I asked her:” Where’s Claire?”

“ At school.”

My aunt saw that my legs were bleeding, so she asked :” Why is it bleeding?”

“ The grass.”

She helped me put some ointment on the wound and wrapped it in gauze. Then she took a black shirt and pants for me to wear.

I knelt down beside mother.

Uncle walked away and wiped his mucus onto his pants.

I knelt beside mother, accompanying her, looking at her. For one whole year, all she felt was pain, but now it’s over, she does not need to feel pain anymore. There was almost a smile on her face, it looked like she was saying :” I’m all right, don’t worry about me.”

My aunt was pacing up and down, then she knelt beside mother. She looked at mothers face, tears dropping on her face, then she was whispered some words, I didn’t know what.

I didn’t know what I should to say to mother. Usually we had nothing much to talk about. Mother knows that I love her, I also know she loves me. But I never said it to her before and vice versa. But if she knows, then it’s enough.

Mother already stopped breathing, but her soul is still here. I should talk to her. My heart says :” Mother, now I’m beside you, if you want to sleep, then sleep well. If you want to go, then go. I’m already grown up, I can take care of myself. Uncle and Aunty and Claire are all right. Clinton always bullies me, but I’m not scared, I can deal with it. After two years, I bet I will be as big as Clinton, I won’t be bullied by him forever. Mother, if you want me to do anything, tell me now, I will fulfill your requests.”

After I said that, I listened quietly, but I heard nothing, only the birds chirping in the background.

Uncle and his car came back, Claire and Clinton were crying their heads off as they came in. They knelt beside mother.

Aunty told them not to drip their tears on mother’s body , get changed and eat lunch.

Only I didn’t cry.

One hour later, Uncle brought some priests home. They took some joss sticks , and put them in front of mother, after they said some prayers, they brought the coffin in.

They sprinkled the coffin with some holy water, then they carried mother into the coffin. Then we said some prayers and auspicious words.

If only mother could live forever. How great that would be.

The priests closed the coffin and started nailing it. I was worried, what if mother woke up, only to find herself nailed in a coffin.

Later that evening, we were all seated in the living room.

Everybody took turns lighting some joss sticks and said some prayers.

Uncle said :” We’ll light up your mother’s road, so she can see properly in the dark. This light, must not go off.”

I daren’t sleep. What if the light went off? Then mother wouldn’t be able to see properly.

Uncle, Aunty and Clinton all fell asleep in the living room.

Only Claire was accompanying me. She asked me :” Tailor, are you sad?”

“ Of course.”

“ Then why don’t you cry?”

“ I can’t.”

“ Maybe, you’re too sad?”

“……”

“Will you cry tomorrow?”

“ I don’t know.”

“ Crying will make you feel better.”

“ Really?”

“ Yep, Tailor.”

Claire calls me Tailor instead of Taylor. My father was a tailor, my mother liked to sew, so that’s why she calls me Tailor. Heck, you can call me Taylor or Tailor. I mean like, they both sound the same anyways.

Chapter 2
The car passed my house’s gate, but Uncle forgot to stop the car. Only then he realized he went to wrong way, so he reversed the car.

He stopped the car in front of a tree, under the many leaves, then Uncle said softly :” Taylor, your mother……your mother……”

Uncle started crying softly, even though he didn’t say anything, I already understood what he meant.

I didn’t cry. My mind was messed up. I knew incidents like this would happen sooner or later. Last year, my mother was diagnosed with Leukaemia, we all knew she would go one day. After only one year, she really left. Even though I was heartbroken, but I didn’t know why I couldn’t cry.

I went down the car and started walking towards the house, then my uncle shouted :”Kneel down!”

I knelt down.

“Crawl back home! You can’t walk, you must crawl!”

Our house was only about ten steps away, I stabilized myself and slowly started crawling towards our house. The ground was filled with overgrown grass, Mimosa and some rocks, which cut my legs.

Our dog, Charlie came near me and licked my head and ear.

Uncle walked to the gate and shouted :” Sis! Taylor’s home!”

Charlie walked to my Uncle and licked his leg too.
My Indian neighbors walked out only to see me walk like a dog on the street, then they started laughing their asses off.

I did not feel embarrassed. Everybody’s mother will die someday, why feel embarrassed?

I crawled all the way to the gate, took off my shoes and went into the house. I saw my mother lying in the middle of the living room. She was lying on a straw mat, wearing a traditional dress. Her face looked so peaceful as if she were sleeping. She doesn’t need to feel pain anymore, she also doesn’t need to scream in pain anymore. She didn’t sleep for two days, but now she can finally sleep forever.

Two days ago, mother would groan day and night. Uncle would ask me to go upstairs and sleep with Clinton but I didn’t want to, I didn’t mind mother’s groaning, I can still sleep. My aunt said:” Your mother needs a woman to take care of her at night.” I could only take my pillow and bolster and sleep in Clinton’s room. I didn’t sleep well during those two days. I needed mother’s sound. All these years I’ve been sleeping with my mother. I believed that without me at her side, she would not be able to sleep well too. But now, mother finally slept.

Uncle started crying like a little baby when he saw mother like that.

He shouted :”Sister! Why did you have to go?”

Then he slapped me because he saw that I didn’t cry. Hard.

“Cry! Why don’t you cry?”

B*tch. If I can’t cry, it’s not my problem. I hoped he would slap me again so that I could cry.

My aunt came and tugged my shirt and said :” Taylor, let’s eat.”

I asked her:” Where’s Claire?”

“ At school.”

My aunt saw that my legs were bleeding, so she asked :” Why is it bleeding?”

“ The grass.”

She helped me put some ointment on the wound and wrapped it in gauze. Then she took a black shirt and pants for me to wear.

I knelt down beside mother.

Uncle walked away and wiped his mucus onto his pants.

I knelt beside mother, accompanying her, looking at her. For one whole year, all she felt was pain, but now it’s over, she does not need to feel pain anymore. There was almost a smile on her face, it looked like she was saying :” I’m all right, don’t worry about me.”

My aunt was pacing up and down, then she knelt beside mother. She looked at mothers face, tears dropping on her face, then she was whispered some words, I didn’t know what.

I didn’t know what I should to say to mother. Usually we had nothing much to talk about. Mother knows that I love her, I also know she loves me. But I never said it to her before and vice versa. But if she knows, then it’s enough.

Mother already stopped breathing, but her soul is still here. I should talk to her. My heart says :” Mother, now I’m beside you, if you want to sleep, then sleep well. If you want to go, then go. I’m already grown up, I can take care of myself. Uncle and Aunty and Claire are all right. Clinton always bullies me, but I’m not scared, I can deal with it. After two years, I bet I will be as big as Clinton, I won’t be bullied by him forever. Mother, if you want me to do anything, tell me now, I will fulfill your requests.”

After I said that, I listened quietly, but I heard nothing, only the birds chirping in the background.

Uncle and his car came back, Claire and Clinton were crying their heads off as they came in. They knelt beside mother.

Aunty told them not to drip their tears on mother’s body , get changed and eat lunch.

Only I didn’t cry.

One hour later, Uncle brought some priests home. They took some joss sticks , and put them in front of mother, after they said some prayers, they brought the coffin in.

They sprinkled the coffin with some holy water, then they carried mother into the coffin. Then we said some prayers and auspicious words.

If only mother could live forever. How great that would be.

The priests closed the coffin and started nailing it. I was worried, what if mother woke up, only to find herself nailed in a coffin.

Later that evening, we were all seated in the living room.

Everybody took turns lighting some joss sticks and said some prayers.

Uncle said :” We’ll light up your mother’s road, so she can see properly in the dark. This light, must not go off.”

I daren’t sleep. What if the light went off? Then mother wouldn’t be able to see properly.

Uncle, Aunty and Clinton all fell asleep in the living room.

Only Claire was accompanying me. She asked me :” Tailor, are you sad?”

“ Of course.”

“ Then why don’t you cry?”

“ I can’t.”

“ Maybe, you’re too sad?”

“……”

“Will you cry tomorrow?”

“ I don’t know.”

“ Crying will make you feel better.”

“ Really?”

“ Yep, Tailor.”

Claire calls me Tailor instead of Taylor. My father was a tailor, my mother liked to sew, so that’s why she calls me Tailor. Heck, you can call me Taylor or Tailor. I mean like, they both sound the same anyways.