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[Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, and I Need Critics! - Printable Version

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[Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, and I - TakasuMouce - Apr. 22, 2012

Hello Everyone! This is the story I've been working on. It is about, oh, whatever. Read to find Out!

Chapter 1: The Beginning of Something Great
Chapter 2: Japan
Please comment and rate!


RE: スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Rate, Comment, and - TakasuMouce - Apr. 22, 2012

Chapter 2 might be up by... today. I'm not sure.


RE: スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Rate, Comment, and - Duck - Apr. 22, 2012

This is a great story with truly great grammar! I just don't understand how a mouse can fly in an airplane, or how a mouse can murder another mouse, though... You forgot to pluralize a few words, too... Other than that, great job!


RE: スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Rate, Comment, and - TakasuMouce - Apr. 22, 2012

Oh, the world is that mice replace humans. They have human characteristics, like the same psychological thought, etc. Sorry I didn't make it clear.


RE: スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Rate, Comment, and - Duck - Apr. 22, 2012

That's AWESOME!!! I love this idea! It is very promising! I can't wait to read more! And again, wonderful grammar!


RE: スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Rate, Comment, and - TakasuMouce - Apr. 22, 2012

Chapter 2 is up!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - Apr. 22, 2012

Any critics? Please comment. Thank you in advance.


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Beyblader#14793 - Apr. 22, 2012

this is AWESOME!!! please make more


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - Apr. 24, 2012

(Apr. 22, 2012  9:54 PM)Beyblader#14793 Wrote: this is AWESOME!!! please make more

Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. I will right more!
More comments?


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - Apr. 25, 2012

Again, any more comments? And sorry, it might take a while to type up chpt. 3. I'm doing a school project right now. Sorry!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - sarabscientist - Apr. 26, 2012

Wonderfull story Takasu, keep it up!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Cookie Bouquets - Apr. 26, 2012

I can't criticize when every thing I criticize is already taken care of!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Duck - Apr. 26, 2012

(Apr. 26, 2012  1:34 AM)Shirayuki Wrote: I can't criticize when every thing I criticize is already taken care of!

Nag, nag! I beat you to it! Chapter 2 was great! I can't wait until Chapter 3! I wonder why they all have the same marks...


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Cookie Bouquets - Apr. 26, 2012

I smell a little bit of transformice here


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Duck - Apr. 27, 2012

(Apr. 26, 2012  11:49 PM)Shirayuki Wrote: I smell a little bit of transformice here

What is transformice? Chocked_2 Does it smell good?


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Cookie Bouquets - Apr. 27, 2012

(Apr. 27, 2012  12:08 AM)Fakirs Duck Wrote:
(Apr. 26, 2012  11:49 PM)Shirayuki Wrote: I smell a little bit of transformice here

What is transformice? Chocked_2 Does it smell good?

Transformice is a game


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - sarabscientist - Apr. 27, 2012

I just lol'd at that so hard.


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - Apr. 30, 2012

(Apr. 27, 2012  8:57 PM)SarabScientist Wrote:
(Apr. 27, 2012  12:08 AM)Fakirs Duck Wrote:
(Apr. 26, 2012  11:49 PM)Shirayuki Wrote: I smell a little bit of transformice here

What is transformice? Chocked_2 Does it smell good?

I just lol'd at that so hardTongue_out

Ah,CRIMSON RED BLOOD...so descriptive!

Thanks!

PS I wonder why its the same people posting again and again in this thread...

Chapter 3 will be up by tommorrow!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Duck - Apr. 30, 2012

(Apr. 30, 2012  3:32 AM)Yukio Wrote:
(Apr. 27, 2012  8:57 PM)SarabScientist Wrote:
(Apr. 27, 2012  12:08 AM)Fakirs Duck Wrote: What is transformice? Chocked_2 Does it smell good?

I just lol'd at that so hardTongue_out

Ah,CRIMSON RED BLOOD...so descriptive!

Thanks!

PS I wonder why its the same people posting again and again in this thread...

Chapter 3 will be up by tommorrow!

I dunno... I guess there's some stories that only a few people like, but, when those certain people come across them, they're very excited and absolutely adore the story! Life's the same, sometimes... I can't wait for chap 3!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - Apr. 30, 2012

Dang it. My Word isnt working, and I dont know where I put my notebook. Maybe next week for chpt. 3. Anyways, I need suggestions on what happens. I ran out of ideas!


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Duck - Apr. 30, 2012

Maybe they open the scroll, and its a map to a shrine. They think its just a piece of junk, until they realize that the mark on the shrine is the same as the one on their arms. This, of course, makes them want to investigate.

Hope this helped,
Duck


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - Neo blaster #1 - May. 19, 2012

When is the third chapter gonna be up I want one


RE: [Story] スターの3匹のマウス (The Three Mice of the Stars) Please Comment, an - TakasuMouce - May. 19, 2012

(May. 19, 2012  3:45 AM)StormAquario66 Wrote: When is the third chapter gonna be up I want one

Sorry, I have been having a hard time at home and school. The moment I get, I will get chapter 3 up. Don't worry!