The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 10, 2012
I am like BP, can't stick to one story XD
Prologue: Stranded
While the afternoon sun burned us, Me and Lucy were walking down the thick forest, Filthy and tired. We were stranded, but still had enough energy to shout for help.
"Hello?! Anyone out there?!"
"Shut up, Lucy! You know were stranded in this forest, and I don't think no one lives here!
"So? That doesn't stop me asking for help, Aki. Who knows? There might be a small village somewhere around here"
Before I had this conversation with my girlfriend Lucy, 5 minutes ago we were in a trip to Lake City, the best City around here. It was raining, and the road was slippery like ice. We went into a curve, but the car lost its momentum, spinning out of control. We fell down the ravine, screaming for help. I still don't know how we survived, but we are right now.
"Hey! Look up there! It looks like a small village of some sort! Aki, let's check it out!"
"hold your hors- WOAH!" Lucy grabbed my hand to fast, I wasn't able to tell her that it could be dangerous. Lucy is a very active girl. She has a grip of an eagle, A strenght of T-rex, and a speed of a Jaguar. She is very beautiful, with her gleaming color blue eyes, and an excellent face, who would not like her?
Lucy came out of the bushes, and we saw no one. We weren't surprised, for the fact that this was a village, until the moss and vines infected it.
"I wonder what happened here? Seems like a war has struck here"
"I wonder if some of them stayed? don't you think, Aki?"
"I guess not, the swords right here are rusted, meaning this were a 100 years old or something. I don't think there are peopl-"
Right before I finish what I was saying, Something was moving behind the thick trees. We heard huge stomping sounds, breaking and creaking of trees, and an unfamiliar sound a kid would have been scared of. Taunted by the sounds, I grabbed Lucy, and we hid at a nearly surviving hut.
"What the hell is making those noise! there aren't elephants around here!"
"let's take a look, Lucy."
I opened the hut's entranced, took a peek, and was surprised to the bone when I saw it: It's right in front of us, ready to eat us...
I still have some grammar mistakes, I know. so any suggestions?
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Septentrione - Apr. 11, 2012
So, this is actually the first time I saw you do a story... and it it excellent. It's still the prologue, I know, but you had the power to make it exciting. Kudos for that.
Anyway, here are some of my suggestions.
-You sometimes (Well, I only saw one) forget to use past tense verbs.
-You also forget to use capital letters after a punctuation.
-That being said, you also forget to use punctuations after your character says something.
-Also, "were" should be changed into "we're" because were is just a past tense of are, while we're is referring to we are. Which I assume is that Aki is pertaining to him and Lucy characters.
That's about it. The other problems can be fixed with the suggestions I gave above.
Other than that, I like this. Very much. Go on.
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 11, 2012
Thanks, Deus. I should take note of that XD
Anyways, Here's the first Chapter!:
Chapter 1: Unexpected
The monster stood in front of our hiding place, ready to kill. It stood gracefully, however it's dwarfish looks destroys the magnificence of the creature. While its hammer rest in its shoulders, grunting sounds can be heard. It's face has two large pimples, one at the cheek and one near it's large, pointed nose. It wore somewhat leather armor, but it seems he has engaged into battle. Scars can be seen it its hand, and it's leg is covered with blood. Taunted, I tried to find an escape route. I found one, however the way is risky: it's right behind it.
"Lucy, I have a plan, but I don't think you'll love it."
"I don't care! I want to live, you know?"
"Okay, the plan is simple: I'll distract the thing, while you run around it until you reach that small tunnel there. I'll try to run as fast as I could. If the thing notices you, I want you to run inside the tunnel"
"Are you mad? That thing can kill you in a matter of seconds!"
"I don't care. In the count of three, I'll go outside and distract it. After 2 seconds, I want you to run to the tunnel. ready?"
Lucy seemed to deny the fact that I am sacrificing myself to save her. She nodded nervously, and I counted.
"1, 2, 3!!"
I ran out of the hut, and taunted the creature. It looked at me, and started chasing me. Lucy came out, and ran straight to the tunnel. Great, the plan worked. Now what? Trying to go around the creature is suicide, going into the jungle will make me lost, and hiding will literally make me vulnerable to its attack. I needed to think, fast.
I was still running, then I ended up in a dead end. Great, now i'm trapped. I looked behind, and the monster stood, staring at me.
"Don't you kill me, you... thing?!"
Then the creature laughed. I looked at its face with an anxious look.
"You really think I will kill you? In fact, I'm saving your tiny little butt!"
"What?"
"Oh, sorry for the rude attitude. The name's Metallica. I have been sent here to protect you, Akira.
"Wait, How did you know my name? Why do you need to protect me?"
"No time to explain, your girlfriend is in trouble!"
He pointed to the tunnels were Lucy was staying. Two large beast is seen holding Lucy, holding her captive.
"LUCY!!! I'm coming!!"
I took a rusted sword that was right beside me, and ran back to the place where I told her to stay in.
"Akira, WAIT! you have no idea what they are capable of!"
"I DON'T CARE!"
I rushed into one of the monsters, and tried to stabbed it. The monster's reflexes were good, as it was able to dodge every attack I gave it. Then, It slapped me with it's huge arm.
"Ugh! The hell are those things?!"
"I'll tell you later! Right now I want you to hide!"
Metallica swung his hammer at great speed, and it hit the creature with great force. He attacked the other creature, and he was able to kill it. The creature dropped Lucy, so I carried her back to the hut. Metallica took out his sword, and stabbed the last one who survived his attack. The creature disintegrated into flames, and Metallica placed back his sword.
"Now can you tell me what's going on?!"
"Alright, but we have to move!"
"Where?"
"I'll tell you while we escape! There are hundreds of those things around here! Is your girlfriend alright?"
"She is, however she has fainted."
"Alright. Let's go!"
He picked us up, and he run as fast as he could.
phew! that was long XD
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Septentrione - Apr. 12, 2012
Whoa, Metallica = Dwarf/Gnome?
Anyway, it's pretty interesting already. Though near the end Metallica said, "does" do you mean "those?"
Also, it's not -that- long. But, it is be a good improvement.
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 12, 2012
Metallica Wrote:I am a Guardian, Not a Dwarf/Gnome. What do expect? I'm like a dragon or something?! News flash: I'M NOT.
ANYWAYS, Chapter 2!:
Chapter 2: Explanation
Metallica ran across the forest, carefully looking for those creatures who attacked us earlier. I looked at Lucy with a saddened face. I wouldn't think those things were real. They were like goblins, only jet black and a more pointed head. They looked like muscular beings capable of carrying a 100-ton rock. They are agile, and no one can escape them. Well, maybe us but who knows?
"Alright Metallica, What the hell is going on? Where are you taking us?"
"We're going to Flame City. It's where you will learn everything, and heal your girlfriend."
"Flame City? I have never been there. Never heard of it, really. What kind of place is it?"
"Oh, such a magnificent place! The city is made out of Exon, a type of metal not known to man! I do suggest you, keep her cooled..."
"What? wh- oh..."
Just as I finish my sentence, I saw the Beautiful Flame city. The walls were made out of some kind of Diamond, could be the Exon Metallica told me about. The dangerous parts I see, however, were lava dripping out of the roof.
"Wow! such a beautiful place!"
"I know, but we need to cross the river in order to get over there"
"So? Let's go!"
"That's the problem: I'm a bit Hydrophobic..."
Metallica Isn't a dwarf, but he sure have some characteristics of one...
"So, now what?"
"I'll have to call for the flame bridge, but it will take the whole night for it to finish rebuilding itself. Let's call for the night right here. I'll send in the request."
"Alright. I guess this is a good place to rest."
Metallica dropped us down, and I laid Lucy on the ground. She look pail and tired. I looked at Metallica, and he was carrying a crossbow with a loaded bullet. He pointed it upwards, and triggered the contraption. It flew across the river at great speeds, and it hit somewhat a button. Then I saw a bridge forming in the horizon. It came out of the water, and it dried itself quickly. I was surprised that this took almost the whole night to finish. I wonder how long it took them to make this?
"Alright, Akira. Take this: it's a replica of what you are supposed to use. If those things came out here again, We'll have to protect the bridge that's coming this way. We don't wan't to have "uninvited" visitors here."
"Sure, but I have a question: what are those things?"
"There called them Vexises. Nasty little creature. Those things we encountered were just scouts, meaning there are a lot of them, really. You'll learn everything there is to know when we ge-"
Me and Metallica heard the movement of the bushes. I took out the sword he gave me, and so did Metallica. Then, Three Vexises Came out of the bushes.
"Great, more of them."
"Aki, I wan't you to shout:フレイムã®å‰£ãŒã‚¢ã‚¯ãƒ†ã‚£ãƒ–ã«!"
"Okay..."
I shouted the words, Then the sword burst out a bright red aura. My body felt strange, and my eyes changed color, from my brown to Red. Now, I see weird symbols, and my vision turned orange.
"Wha-what the?!"
"Your in Flame mode now. It should give you a boost on battle. Now, we will fight!"
Metallica drew out his hammer. I was in a fighting stance. Then, the Vexises charged. Metallica
Smacked the first one with his hammer, and I tried attacking the other one. The symbols I see is guiding me, and somehow I understand them. The Vexis attacked from above and I sliced off it's arm. The other one was about to attack Lucy, so I threw my sword and It disintegrated. I ran to get my sword, and I picked it just in time to stab the other one. Metallica Smacked his hammer to the last one, and it was killed.
"Any more?"
"Hope not..."
The bridge was finished, but another three Vexises came out.
"Great. Ready for round two?"
"I was born ready!"
Just I was about to attack, two fire ball came out of no where, and it hit the creatures, killing them. I looked back, and say somewhat a guard with a gun of some sort, stood there, watching.
"You guys need to get inside fast, before things get, "out of hand" here"
フレイムã®å‰£ãŒã‚¢ã‚¯ãƒ†ã‚£ãƒ–ã«- means "Flame sword Activate". It will be changed, however ;p
EDIT:OH! and yes, I forgot:
I made a blog site for some of my daily craziness. The story will also be posted there, and some of my "crazy" stuff XD
Its called: The Blood Files!
I will still post the story here, but you can check out my blog site for updates on the stories, and my works of art!
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Focus - Apr. 12, 2012
I love the entire thing
This is what u call awesome!
Quote:I grabbed Lucy, and we hide at a nearly surviving hut.
hide? the action hiding is already over so I think it is supposed to be hid cuz hide is present tense and hid is past Tense.
Quote:"Oh, sorry for the rude attitude. The name is Metallica
It seems that u have mistaken it is supposed to be My name but u kept The Name
Correct me if i am wrong
Thank u
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 12, 2012
Ah yes, I forgot about those...
TBH, the part where Metallica is introducing himself, was suppose to be:
"The name's Metallica"
I just didn't notice it. Gonna edit it now! thanks
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 13, 2012
Sorry for double post, But here is Chapter 3!
Chapter 3: The seige
We quickly got inside. The guard removed the arrow Metallica shot awhile ago, then the bridge came back down, submerging through the water.
"Seems like those Vexises ran through the forest, scared"
"It seems so, but let's not be calm. They will be back, but with a lot of friends..."
"Then we need to be ready. Do you have the boy?"
Metallica looked at me, he came closer, and said:
"Akira, here is where your journey starts. I will be leaving you here with my friend, Grigor. He will help you through your training."
"Training? What training?"
"So Meta here still haven't told you yet, hasn't he?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Aki, You are the Flame Knight. Haven't you figure it out yet?"
Flame Knight? I'm a real Knight? Impossible, I don't even have royal blood, or something like that.
"What? No, impossible..."
"Possible. You were able to activate the dummy blade's power, Didn't you?"
I looked at the blade, still glowing the red aura it gave off during the fight.
"*sigh*, Okay, what do you want me to do?"
"Train. You already unlocked some abilities, but those are just the 'basics'. You need more if you need to face Diablias."
"Diablias? Who is that?"
"Diablias is the Empress of the Vexis. The bad girl, if you know what I mean."
The name was somewhat familiar, I don't know but sounded like...
"Shoot! Vexises!"
I looked around through out the horizon. 10 Vexises stared at us, and they jumped through the water.
"Oh fudge, They can swim?!"
"Vexises are like opposites of our kind. They swim, we don't. They are mindless, we are not. Diablias is there leader, Your father was our leader."
Wait, did he just say, "My father"?
"Riyuk, Helik! activate the lava pit!"
"Sir yes Sir!"
The creatures both pulled down two levers, and the lave from the ceiling pour down, making contact with the water.
"This are just basic defense. Snipers! go to the sniping towers and shoot any Vexises you see!"
"Yes sir!"
5 creatures went up the stairs, carrying rifles Grigor had. They took aim, and triggered their weapons. 2 Vexises were shot down.
"Oh scrap! Rapdons!"
"Great, when we almost got those monsters!"
I looked at the sky, and this flying creatures were circling around the fort. They were like those flying dinosaurs, except with a head of a raptor. Maybe they got the name from them.
"Akira, Help Lucy get to the healing center. After that, I want you to go to the throne room, and check under the king's chair. The Flame Blades should be there. Just say the words you said awhile ago and you will activate your flame mode."
"Alright. You can count on me!"
I carried Lucy, and went to the healing center. I laid her down her at the smallest bed I can find, because all the beds were huge enough to lay 100 people. I called down the nurse, and went to go to the throne.
I dashed through the road, took out the sword I wield and look at the entrance. I saw the gates were breached, and Metallica and Grigor still fighting, side by side. Then a Vexis jumped right before my path. I engaged the creature and slashed it through its side, killing it. I started to run
again, reaching the throne. The throne was a magnificent site: Golden walls, royal banners, and an Exon-crafted Chair. I looked under it, and saw a ladder going down. I went in, and when I looked back, I was astonished: It was my Dad!
Uhh, Not much of an action, isn't it?
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 15, 2012
Sorry for triple post, but here is Chapter 4!
Chapter 4: The Flame Knight Awakens
"Dad?!"
I was surprised that my father was alive. My mom told me that my dad died of heart attack right before I was born. I only know him because of the wedding pictures I found one day at my mom's closet. My dad was just like me, only older. He wore magnificent golden robes and an Exon armor. He was a bit old, but he still have the power to reply:
"Akira? Is that you, my son?!"
Just like me, he was surprised. I came near to him, and I gave him a hug. I've miss him a lot.
"Akira, have you already heard?"
"Yes, but why me?"
"You were destined to be the Flame Knight. It wasn't because I am your father, but because of your destiny."
Then, he took two daggers, each with a fire motif.
"I claim you, as the Flame Knight! Now, utter the words to activate the blade's true power!"
I grabbed the two daggers, holding them each on both of my hands. Then I uttered:
"フレイムã®å‰£ãŒã‚¢ã‚¯ãƒ†ã‚£ãƒ–ã«!!"
I felt power surging through my arms, and I saw my clothes changing: I now wore a somewhat a red armor, styled like a hood-less jacket. My arms now bore hand plates, with a motif of fire. My pants change into jeans, with red lines and a fire design at the bottom. My shoes change, it felt like armor, but it still looked like my normal shoes: only with red fiery lines. Then I began to wear a red handkerchief around my mouth, hiding my identity. The daggers changed, into two long swords that now has a dragon as it's handle, and a fire emblem as its blade.
"What the-?!"
"You now have gained the power of the flame. Now I give you a great task: search for the other chosen warriors. There are 5: Ice, Water, Earth, Wind, and you, Flame. Diablas can be beaten, but only if you are united!"
"Yes, father."
"I know, Aki, that this could be our last meeting, but worry not: I will be in your side, always. Go! help Metallica and the others. You are their only hope!"
I kissed my father goodbye, and I went out, only to see the downfall of fire city.
"NO! What happened?!"
Metallica showed up, Injured yet alive. Grigor was helping him stand on his legs.
"Akira, Is that you?! My, what a warrior you look!"
"Enough talk, Metallica. Grigor, can you help him go to the Healing center?"
"Yes I will. I'll check on your girlfriend as well."
"Thanks!"
I ran near the gates, only to see Vexises ripping apart the guards. I took out my swords, and yelled:
"ç‚Žã®å™´ç«!"
The blades glowed red, and it burst out fire. It burned the Vexises, and killed them. Then one attacked me from behind. My sense kicked in, and I slashed through it's belly. I back-handed my right blade, and stabbed the attacking Vexis. Using my left blade, I cut of another Vexis through it's head. Finally, I spun my right sword on the palm of my hand, grabbed it, and slashed through the final Vexis, and it died.
More Japanese words: More translating! XD
ç‚Žã®å™´ç«- Flame Eruption
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 23, 2012
Due to writer's block, I haven't even made the next chapter...
However, here's the Bio of the main Character, Akira. It could give you spoilers, though XD:
Akira
Name: Akira Excabound
Age: 21
Looks: With an almost pale skin color, Aki bears a Striking resemblance to Sora from Kingdom Hearts. His hair, however,is black, plus has bluer eyes. He always wears a black jacket, and a red undershirt with the fire insignia. He wears grey jeans and to finish the look, red sneakers.
Personality: Brave yet sometimes clumsy, Akira has a Happy-go-lucky personality. Although not that smart, he is wise enough to help people in need.
Biography: When he was seven, Aki's mother died, and his father suddenly vanish. He was left orphaned by his lovable aunt who gave him a great life. However, by sixteen his Aunt die out of cancer. Although dishearten, Aki kept moving on, and finally met Lucy when he was 19. After the incident, thing's have change...
Weapon: Dual Blades- Blades out of the daggers Aki's father gave him. When it Dagger mode, the hilt of the blade is shaped like a dragon's head. This will change when Aki will activate his Flame mode: The hilt is now triangular, and the blade now gives of a fiery look.
Aki also has a second weapon, although it's still in plan
Element: Fire- His basic element. Fire is devastating, however with the Dual blades, it can heal heavily wounded troops to the nearly dead friends. Although not stated yet, if one uses fire too much, it's soul will end up eating itself, unless he is the Flame Knight and King, or a Guardian
Aki also has another element. although it's still in plan
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Duck - Apr. 25, 2012
This is a beautiful story... *sighs contently*
RE: The Blades of Fury! - akio314 - Apr. 28, 2012
I made up some characters: Kazuo is a 13-year old who is very smart and brave, yet physically weak, he is the prince of a race called Zykans, an aquatic race that can control water, Kazuo has control over water. Kazuo makes puns as comic relief for his friends.
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Argentum - Apr. 28, 2012
nice story man!
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 28, 2012
(Apr. 28, 2012 12:28 PM)Akio314 Wrote: I made up some characters: Kazuo is a 13-year old who is very smart and brave, yet physically weak, he is the prince of a race called Zykans, an aquatic race that can control water, Kazuo has control over water. Kazuo makes puns as comic relief for his friends.
I don't need characters right now. I'll sure contact you if I do.
thanks to the ones who likes it, as a prize next chapter TOM!!
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Sparta - Apr. 28, 2012
It's alright to not be loyal to just one story-almost all professional writers will bounce from idea to idea, starting on this and that and rarely finishing anything. And what they do finish, gets published. That's the process.
I saw a few grammatical errors (Like plurals), as well as some comma misuse. You're a very descriptive writer, and that's something that will work for you. You're good at painting scenes, and in chapter one I could see the monster you were describing. Add some tags after your dialogue here and there, and make sure to really amp up the battle scenes-they're supposed to be intense, so write them as such!
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 28, 2012
I don't really get the Tags you mean after the dialouge. you mean like:
["Blalalalala" I exclaimed] thing?
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Sparta - Apr. 28, 2012
Sort of. I mean saying something to direct the reader as to who said that piece of dialogue.
Which one is easier to read/more detailed?
"Hi" I said
"Hey"
"What's up?" He scratched his head
"Not much"
Or
"Hey" I said
"Hey"
"What's up?" He scratched his head.
"Not much" I replied happily
When you get a constant stream between 2 people, you don't need it. But when you are switching between a group of people or there are breaks in the dialogue, it's good to say who's saying what.
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Apr. 28, 2012
ohhh... well thank you for that. I should try to make it...
RE: The Blades of Fury! - akio314 - May. 01, 2012
Well, I just thought since you don't have many characters yet, that I should give you an idea.
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Sep. 23, 2012
Wow, It's been awhile since I started this again. Let's continue where Aki Left of, shall we?
Chapter 5: Look out!
I heard a huge flapping sound. I turned around, and it was a Rapdon! I quickly swung my sword, but it was too fast that it knocked me down, hard.
"Agghhh!" I scream in pain. The next thing I knew, the Rapdon attacked me again. I stand up, then took another hit. Great, What now? I begin to think that my sword can be thrown, like those movies where the character swings his sword and hits the flying thing flawlessly. Without a second thought, I uttered:
"溶岩ブーメラン!"
The next thing I knew, I swung one of my Swords and threw it at the air. Too my surprise, it acted like a homing missile: It followed the Rapdon and slashed through it, disintegrating it. The sword then got back to me.
It seems that it was the last one of his kind, as I did not see anymore of them. I sighed to relief, and then I searched for Metallica and Grigor. I found them, Laying in the ground, tired but safe.
"So, you guys okay?"
"Not really: My back hurts through all that slashing and smashing." replied Metallica.
"Hah, seems like you're getting old, my friend! You can't even remember what I did to save you!" boasted Grigor. I smirked.
"Ahh shut up! I was distracted at that time saving YOU!" Yelled Metallica. I laughed.
"I'll go check on Lucy, while you two fight over...that" I said, and left them, still trying to fight over who did best.
I went to the clinic, and to my surprise Lucy has awakened. I then saw my armor vanished, but it was perfect timing that I hugged her without her getting stabbed. My armor was that spiky anyways.
"Hey! how's it been?" I asked her.
"I'm okay. It's that I''m shocked about what's happening: I woke up and suddenly, Huge explosions made me scared. Then this weird green little things went near me, but I fainted. At least I'm refreshed again. So, what's going on?"
"A lot, But you'll soon find out"
I kissed her in the forehead, and left the clinic. I saw people, who seems to be workers of some sort, fixing the damage of what happened. I saw it was daytime. Great, I'll be able to get fresh air again. I then stared into the horizon
On a far away land:
"Yeeesss, Aki hasss Finally awakened his powerssss.He has not noticed, but not long will he find out that his REAL girlfriend been abducted, and has been replaced. But before that, the transformation of the Dark Princess will be completed"
Then, a cage where Lucy is seen, is being covered by Black matter that seems to grow slowly, coming closer to her.
"Not soon, my darling, but I will ensure a nice gift for the Flame night: His own Dark Lover!"
"Mhhhhmmm! MMHHHHMM!!" Lucy tries to scream, but to no avail.
Sorry if it's a bit small. I'm a bit sleepy. I guess I'll edit some parts of it tomorrow. but till then!
溶岩ブーメラン - Lava Boomerang
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Sep. 24, 2012
Here is chapter 6 of this series!
Chapter 6: The King's Last battle
"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"
I was carrying a huge pile of rocks as heavy as a truck. I can't even move it! Well, it was for the best. The City was damaged through the fight we had last night. The sun woke from her slumber, but we are regretting that since the glare of the sun is hotter than lave itself. Well, at least we are almost done.
"agh, this job is the worst!" I shouted. My body felt so painful after carrying a pile of rocks all day.
"haha, boy you do look tired!" Lucy said. It was great that she became well since yesterday. It looks like she already had friends herself: Flying cubes of fire started dancing around her. This cubes looks so cute that it Can solve what little girls can like forever.
"New friends, eh? What are they called?" I asked.
"Cubesters. They look cute as the heavens, but if you piss it off it will bring you to heaven!" replied Metallica.
Metallica has been working nonstop, that's because of his "only job": smashing.
"Hey Meta, what are we going to do after repairs?" I asked him.
"All I know is that today was suppose to be your practice. The sad part is that the Vexises and Rapdon savaged the practice facility, so it will be tomorrow." Metallica replied.
"Great! We could take a day off after hard day's work." I said happily.
In the Far lands of
"Yes, he hasn't figured out. I'll keep in touch." said the fake Lucy.
"Great. I'll keep in touch. You need to infiltrate him more or else!" said Diablias.
Diablias turns off the intercoms, and looks back at a dark dressed lady, holding a jet black sword that glows a red violent hue.
"Think you are ready, My darling?"
"of course, my queen! I shall do your bidding!"
"then kill Akira's Father!"
Without a word, The woman disappeared in the mist, and a loud laughter can be heard.
Back at Flame City:
Aki is seen eating fried ostrich leg with Lucy, sitting on a balcony. The air was cold, strangely but it didnt matter. Aki seems to be very hungry, eating a lot of it while Lucy laughs.
"Aki, you'll choke if you don't stop that!"
(mouth full)"I can eat whatever I want, whenever I- AAAACCKK!" Aki was choking that made Lucy laugh even harder. She was giving the I-told-you-so look. Suddenly, a guard came running and said:
"Dear master, sorry for the sudden disruption, but your father-"
"What?!? What happened?" I suddenly asked.
"Go to the throne, and be quick!"
"alright! Lucy, come!" I quickly took her hand and ran till I arrived the throne. It was a horrid scene: the statues were laying on the floor, broken. The doors has been reached, and both Fire and darkness can be seen fighting. I told Lucy to stay put, and withdrawn my daggers. I uttered the words, and I became the Flame Knight. I dived in, only to see what shattered me.
The dark sword went through my father's chest. I feel I made this in a lazy way, so sorry if they are in wrong grammar.
Oh, and sorry for this post. Not much people read my stories...
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Cookie Bouquets - Sep. 24, 2012
Hah, your story writing is just as good as your GFX
RE: The Blades of Fury! - Synth - Sep. 25, 2012
Thanks!
Anyways, here is chapter 7:
Chapter 7: The mistress of darkness
"FATHER!?!?!!!"
Aki felt a mini-heart attack. He clenched his fists in his chest, as he saw the blade cutting thru his father's chest. He looked up who did this, and saw a woman, dressed in a black suit perfectly fitting her. She also has a mask, hiding her red eyes, yet hiding a portion of her deadly lips. She landed gracefully, and took the sword from his father's chest. The king suddenly fell, and with his dying breath, he was stabbed one last time, killing him.
"YOU!! Wha-what have you done???!!" I shouted at her.
"I'm just following orders, my Knight. Just to warn you, you are no match for me!" she replied back.
"You underestimated me! You... YOU WONT BE FORGIVEN!!"
I took the first move, using one of my blades to swipe thru her neck, but she dodged every move I gave her. I shouted The flame Eruption spell, but she quickly rolled to the left, and she was able to scratch my left chest armor.
"AGHH!" I screamed in pain.
"Wait! There's more!" she snarled.
She held her sword in it's chain, and swung it until it reached about 13 meters. She then wiped me continuously, breaking my armor bit by bit. Her sword was glowing red, and soon she shouted:
"ダークã‚ラー!"
Her blade turn red, and the chains black. She twisted in a graceful matter, until she whipped me hard, and sent me flying to the other side of the throne, with a huge slash mark that penetrated my armor.
"GGGAACK!!" I felt the pain. I saw I was bleeding, though only a bit. She then stared at me, and smirked. I didn't want to lose from her, as she did kill my father. I have to defeat her, no matter what.
"So, you're done playing with me? Oh well, maybe next time then." She boasted.
"Shut up!" I snarled. I used my lava boomerang spell, but she shouted a shield spell, and deflected my blades. She laughed, then she used her Dark killer spell again, and this time it hit my chest hard that it broke into pieces. I then fell to the floor, and she came close to me.
"Any last words, Ignorant knight?" she told me. I can't feel anything. I looked at her I tried to give her an angry look, but I can't. I was able to raise my hands, Reaching out to her.
"I pity you. Today will be a day to remember, where the royal blood of flame is finally defeated!" She then raised her blade, ready to stab me. I closed my eyes, but a word came out my mind. It sounded different, like it was another spell. Quickly, I opened my mouth and shouted:
"×וויר תותח!"
What could be that spell he used? Will he be able to defeat the mistress? Find out in the next chapter
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