World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - Printable Version

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RE: The World Fooled Around - Giraton - Apr. 16, 2012

nice chapter, though that narator was hurting my head with all his explaining. other than that i enjoyed that chapter, i do wonder why Promovere is killing the dragons, is there some sort of resorce or something in them?


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 16, 2012

In the 3rd chapter, the newspaper said that whoever killed one of the escaped dragons gets a hundred Valnes. (Their currency.) And he needs it since he's old AND poor.


RE: The World Fooled Around - Giraton - Apr. 17, 2012

ah so if he killed 2 he would be even more rich. by the way, if Valnes are their currency, aproximately how much would it be compared to the American currency?


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 17, 2012

Hm..I compared Valnes to Philippine Currency since I live there and a Valne is 150 PHP so that would be..4 USD.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 21, 2012

Alright. I haven't updated in 4 days. I know. But I'll get the next chapter up once I get back from my vacation. I have info for the currency though.

Valne/s - a gold coin without ridges. A straw-woven hat is marked on the middle of the coin. It weighs 3 grams and is equivalent to 4 USD.

Hoxe/s - a pale green coin without ridges. The Arcis sword is placed on the middle. It weighs the same as a Valne and is equivalent to 2 USD.

Rirse/s - a silver coin without ridges. A temple is marked on the middle. It weighs the same as all and is equivalent to 75 cents.

I have to say this but I won't be spoiling much I hope. THERE IS SOMETHING MUCH SPECIAL WITH THESE COINS AND YOU SHALL FIND THAT OUT TOWARDS THE VERY END OF THE STORY!

AND AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

FROM NOW ON, I WILL BE POSTING A CHAPTER OF TWFA ON PENPAD TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN I WILL POST IT HERE. SO, IF YOU WANT TO GET EARLIER UPDATES, JOIN AND READ IT THERE! POST YOUR OWN STORIES TOO! I ANNOUNCE THIS TO ALL WRITERS ON THIS FORUM.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 25, 2012

EVERYONE. Chapter 5 is up on PenPad. Read it there! I'll post after 2 days. http://w11.zetaboards.com/PenPad_forums/index/ That's the link for PenPad btw.


RE: The World Fooled Around - Sparta - Apr. 26, 2012

How have I not seen this before? Anyways, looks very good. The humor from there Narrator is amusing, and adds a ton of depth to the story. He's sarcastic, witty, and very matter-of-fact about everything...in a way, he reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory Wink

In any case, one suggestion I'd make would be to re-word this sentence (And a few others like it): The dragon growled in frustration and tried to bite the ropes but its sharp teeth just passed through it and dropped saliva on Promovere’s shoes.
^I think there should be a comma after 'ropes,' but even with said comma it still looks a bit weird...try changing it up, and I saw a few others in there but I can't seem to find them now. If I do I'll PM you and let you know.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 26, 2012

Alright. Thanks for the heads-up. I'll remember to edit in the .PDF.

Thanks again Sparta.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 28, 2012

Chapter 5 Release!


In other words...BUMP BUMP BUMP!


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - *Converse* - Apr. 28, 2012

Sick one BeybladePotter


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 29, 2012

Uh...Thanks. Anyone else? Comments anyone?


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - Giraton - Apr. 29, 2012

ok now the 2 characters meet an some explaining gets done, with just enough information to make the person read the next chapter. ive been waiting for this chapter scince i read chapter 1, great work doing it just right.


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - sarabscientist - Apr. 30, 2012

Wonderfull story!
Hard to believe you're only 11!


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 30, 2012

Wink I'm a honor student so it isn't hard to believe. Tongue_out Thanks. And yeah, I read the second part.


RE: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - TakasuMouce - Apr. 30, 2012

Great story! I love the use of descriptive words! Definitely my style of writing. Nice job!

PS It would be nice if you could review my story, which is found in my sig. Thanks!