World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - Printable Version

+- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org)
+-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations)
+--- Thread: The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) (/Thread-The-World-Fooled-Around-CHAPTER-5-IS-UP)

Pages: 1 2


The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!) - BeybladerPotter - Mar. 27, 2012

I can't stick to one story can I..

Here's another one that I will sooner or later abandon. I'll try not to.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter 5



RE: The World Fooled Around - Septentrione - Mar. 31, 2012

Seriously, BBP? Stop jumping from one awesome story from another! Anyway, let's pray you don't abandon this. It got me very curious already.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 02, 2012


Chapter One release



RE: The World Fooled Around - Septentrione - Apr. 03, 2012

Whoa! Nice. It's still on the 1st chapter and I'm already pumped! You are talented BBP. What's your Grade in English?
I also like the narrator. He's not boring like the other ones.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 03, 2012

I may be good at writing but I don't put quite a lot of effort in my English grade. It stands at 90. But I could do way better since I already got a 97 during the other quarters. I take a damn lot pride in Math (95) and Art (99) though.
But this is getting way off-topic. If you want a detailed report of my grades, PM me. Anyway, thanks a lot. I'll try to update today.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 04, 2012

Ok. Any criticisms before I move on to the next chapter? I realized that part of the problem of me not able to stick to one story is that I don't get a lot of criticisms to help me write the next chapters. So please send them in.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 04, 2012

Chapter Two release




RE: The World Fooled Around - Spy - Apr. 04, 2012

Hey did you forget that this is a "BEYBLADE" community, Its not a two-member-chit-chat-story-telling-community.


RE: The World Fooled Around - Synth - Apr. 04, 2012

Um, I should give some comments on this. I don't want you leaving this in the pile of story heaven... XD
It's awesome. I like the flow of the story, and the grammar is great (I iz kno Go0d at gramer :p)
err, that's the only thing I can tell you for now... so yeah nice story!

EDIT:
@BeyBlast: Did you forget that this is the YOUR CREATION forum? WE CAN DO THE HELL WE WANT EXCEPT SPAM IT ALL UP AND ALL.

EDIT2: Ok, Let me edit what did I just say:
Did you forget this is the YOUR CREATION forum? We can post whatever we want ASIDE from beyblades (and spam). Beside, here in this parts of the forum, We make stories, Do GFX, and things related to creating. so, WE CAN DO THE HELL WE WANT EXCEPT SPAM IT ALL UP AND ALL.


RE: The World Fooled Around - Giraton - Apr. 04, 2012

funny yet serious at the same time, very cool. i would like to see more of this story. hope you don't quit on it. that reminds me i got to get back to my one some day.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 04, 2012

Haha. I feel very comfortable with this story since I'm actually writing AND narrating it so I don't think I'll leave it any time. It's also summer here so I have more time to finish it. And thanks for the comments. Thanks DeX for editing your post. Thanks to both for commenting lol.


RE: The World Fooled Around - Septentrione - Apr. 04, 2012

Hey! Nice chapter. I have to know what's the narrator's name so I can recruit. xD Anyway. Nice fluid story telling and small to almost no grammar mistakes. Nice job, BBP.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 05, 2012

Lol. The narrator's name is secret. Though, it might just be Dr. Seuss. Nah. Kidding. The narrator is busy with this but he can help co-write. Wink


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 07, 2012

Just so you guys know and basing on my record, I have to say this. I DID NOT ABANDON THIS. I'm just on a two-night stay at a hotel with my family. I'm checking out tomorrow and I can grammar check the 3rd chapter and post it.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 10, 2012

Chapter 3 Release!



RE: The World Fooled Around - Giraton - Apr. 10, 2012

i have no idea what happened in that chapter, was it ment to be so fast and saying so many things that have not yet been explained in the story? i was reading it, hooked on what was going on but when it stoped just one thing poped in my head, ‘what the heck just happened!’


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 10, 2012

Well. You'll see. Promovere plays an important part in the story. And well. With what happened to Vance in the 2nd chapter. The chapter was supposed to be fast since Promovere was rushing to get to the forest. It just seems...short because I post it one by one. If this were a whole book, you wouldn't say so. Anyway, thanks.


RE: The World Fooled Around - FROZEN - Apr. 10, 2012

ahhh another story line~ let i read it Pegasis_Wink


RE: The World Fooled Around - Septentrione - Apr. 11, 2012

Oh, so that's the whole chapter. Great one in fact. For some reason I get the strangest feeling Provomere is going to win against the dragon. Unsurprisingly. xD.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 13, 2012

Hehe. I'll take some time describing the kingdom in the next chapter.


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 15, 2012

Chapter 4!



RE: The World Fooled Around - Septentrione - Apr. 15, 2012

Yes. Stupidity is very present in young and old people. xD. Great Chapter that showcases the powers of Provomere. Even though there were a few mistakes here and there, it's overall great. KIU. Smile


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 15, 2012

Damn. Didn't notice those. I'll fix tomorrow. I saw a change in tense in one of the sentences. Thanks for the heads-up!


RE: The World Fooled Around - Duck - Apr. 16, 2012

It is a good story! Promovere is my favorite charachter! I would give the story more humor and more action to make it even more interesting! You have really good grammar, keep up with the good work!

Duck

P.S. Read my bey story, Bound by the Bey: Sekenorou's Reign!


RE: The World Fooled Around - BeybladerPotter - Apr. 16, 2012

Fixed the errors!