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+--- Thread: "The Golden Wing" (/Thread-The-Golden-Wing)
"The Golden Wing" - Samurai Changer - Feb. 24, 2012
This is my first story and I am excepting criticism as long as it could help me edit/improve this story
Chapter One: "The Announcement"
One day a "blader" named "Ace", "Ace" was more of a nick-name given to him although sadly he could not remember how he got the name but it stuck, as sadly Ace had amnesia. He had no parents, no friends, and no home.
Well, anyway, Ace was a teenager he was 13 years old to be exact he had short brown hair spiked up in the front.
He was known for his exceptional skills as a blader, his bey, Wing Pegasus 90WF was very powerful as it had mode changes, That is one thing that is very unique about his bey but he knew there was something else special about his bey when he held it he could feel power swell up inside him.
That's the feeling he gets when he is battling an opponent strong, or weak.
Ace came upon a small town the sign read: "welcome to The Blader Village! pop. 934!". "I hope I can find a powerful opponent here, it's been a long time since i've had a serious challenge where I've used my full power".
So he walked into the village. The village was filled with shopping malls and convenience stores. "Ah there it is!" Ace said excitedly.
Right in the middle of all the stores there it was, the "Bey Park."
There was a crowd around the huge TV on the front of the Bey Park and he heard a familiar voice he recognized as the Blader DJ's.
"It has just been announced the location of the first ever Golden Wing Beyblade tournament" announced the Blader DJ.
The crowd roared with excitement!
It seemed that Ace was the only one who seemed puzzled about this event.
But little did Ace know this tournament would change him and his Wing Pegasus forever.
To Be Continued......
Chapter two: "The Rivalry!"
Ace was very curious, it sounds like there could be powerful opponent's there I wonder what it is?
Ace asked himself.
"The location of the next Golden Wing Beyblade tournament is...... Kaitou Town" proclaimed the Blader DJ.
"For those of you who are wondering what this is, it's a tournament that you can enter by earning 10,000 beypoint's in only 24 hours"!
The crowd did not react to this bit of information well, many people booed and other's yelled.
even ace realized that would be impossible for even him.
"now, now, calm down in order to help you earn these points in a mere 24 hours all beypoint's you earn will be doubled in addition to the points you already have."
Now Ace was getting pumped up!
Ace is usually a very calm and cool person, but when it comes to beyblade he's a whole different person!
Everyone rushed away very quickly soon there was just 2 people left.
One was Ace the other was a stranger with a bright orange mohawk, he appeared to be very muscular, he was wearing a bright neon jacket and bright blue shoe's.
"Looks like we're the only ones not in a battle, you know what that means" proclaimed the stranger.
"It means it's time for you to get you're but handed to you on a silver platter" said Ace arrogantly.
"You must not know who you're talking to, my name is Rikuto,"
At those words everyone turned toward Rikuto."
"Whoa that's the legendary Rikuto" Ace heard someone say.
"hmm looks like you've got a name for yourself me? I'm Ace, blader extraordinaire.
You seem like you could maybe even make me use a sliver of my full power."
"Put you're money where your mouth is" said Rikuto clearly annoyed.
"3...........2..........1.........GOOOO SHOOOT!!!!!" "And so the legendary rivalry between Rikuto and Ace begins!"
To Be Continued!
RE: "The Golden Wing" - Switchblade - Feb. 24, 2012
Very good! Love the name, but it needs a little editing for punctuational errors.
RE: "The Golden Wing" - Meteor-V - Feb. 24, 2012
It is a very good story. Bravo
You are very talented in making stories you should keep making more.
RE: "The Golden Wing" - Samurai Changer - Feb. 24, 2012
Good to know my first story turned out well!
RE: "The Golden Wing" - Switchblade - Feb. 24, 2012
I will be looking for updates
By the way, if you need help, just ask. Added you to my buddy list.
RE: "The Golden Wing" - toshibaj - Feb. 24, 2012
Written very well. You should keep writing your very good at it.
RE: "The Golden Wing" - Blitzy - Feb. 24, 2012
it's good but there are a few grammar errors and you use the word and too much