A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Printable Version +- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org) +-- Forum: Beyblade Discussion (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Beyblade-Discussion) +--- Forum: Beyblade Wiki (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Beyblade-Wiki) +---- Forum: Approved Drafts (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Approved-Drafts) +---- Thread: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article (/Thread-A-130-HMS-Twin-Battle-Bey-Double-Shooter-Set-article) |
A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 12, 2012 Boom! The first of my articles on HMS and Plastics Sets. Contents Dragoon MS Blue Dragon Version Gaia Dragoon MS Yellow Dragon Version Driger MS White Tiger Version Wyvern DJ Tornado Balance Stadium HMS Double Shooter (Blue) HMS Double Shooter (Silver) General Info This set was the first release of the Tornado Balance Stadium. It was later released on it's own as one of the earliest releases of the HMS series. This set is the only way to obtain the original version of Wyvern DJ, from Takara. Gallery Pictures from websites to be used. Overall This set includes has some highly useful pieces for the HMS system with Dragoon MS being essential for HMS attack combos and the Tornado Balance one of the most used stadiums of the HMS period. However the other pieces of the set have almost no uses competitively and Gaia Dragoon MS and Driger MS are easy to find. This set is incredibly rare and nearly impossible to find, and a few of the parts inside are rarely found elsewhere as well. If you are able to find one you should definitely purchase it. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Evolution - Jan. 13, 2012 Hmm very good draft, Ultra! Oh as for picture's, Maybe you can convince JR_Tiger to take some picture's? He's got the full set in completely Mint condition! RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 13, 2012 Thanks. I'd noticed that he does. It won't really make much difference which one we use. I've got some from 2 sites both of which are good quality. I'll let Kei decide though. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Imperial - Jan. 13, 2012 Quote: It was later released on it's as one of the earliest releases of the HMS series Do you mean this: It was released later on, as it is one of the earliest releases of the HMS series. Your current sentence doesn't make much sense, at least to me. Quote:This set was also the only way from Takara in which to obtain the original version of Wyvern DJ. It would sound better like this: This set is the only way to obtain the original version of Wyvern DJ, from Takara. Fixed, except for the bolded sentence. The sentence was too confusing, you definitely need some commas in it. Quote:This set includes extremely useful parts for the HMS system. Dragoon MS is essential for HMS attack customizations and the Tornado Balance Stadium is one of the most used of the HMS period. However, the other pieces of the set have almost no use competitively. Also, Gaia Dragoon MS and Driger MS are very common. This set is now almost impossible to find only coming around incredible rarely with the individual pieces from it being just as rare. If you are able to find one you should definitely purchase it. What bothers me is you didn't use a single comma in your article. I know it is short, but commas are essential. You should probably also reword the last sentence. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 13, 2012 For the first one I missed out a word which screws it up. I fail to understand what you find confusing about the bolded sentence. Yes it does need commas, I wrote it in about 20 minutes and didn't check it. I'll make all these edits tomorrow. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Shabalabadoo - Jan. 13, 2012 Yeah the bolded sentence isn't too well written. I'd change it to this: "This set is incredibly rare and nearly impossible to find. The parts inside are rarely found elsewhere as well." Though I'm not really fond of the word choices in that sentence, I just rearranged them and split it into two sentences that are easier to take in. I'd also change the last sentence, as Imperial suggested already. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Kei - Jan. 14, 2012 (Jan. 12, 2012 11:49 PM)Ultrablader Wrote: Boom! The first of my articles on HMS and Plastics Sets. I've made a few edits. This is good to go now. What picture(s) do you have? RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 20, 2012 Found the official names of the recolours: Dragoon MS Blue Dragon Ver. Gaia Dragoon MS Yellow Dragon Ver. Driger MS White Tiger Ver. Also the article is up. The reason there's no pics is cause Kei was going to do that bit. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Imperial - Jan. 21, 2012 It still has a couple of errors, though. Spoiler (Click to View) RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 21, 2012 Kei edited it and said it was good to go so I put it up. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Imperial - Jan. 21, 2012 But if it still has errors and can be improved, ex. it's should be its, the article should be edited. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - th!nk - Jan. 21, 2012 One issue with your version there Imperial, despite the fact they are common, Gaia Dragoon MS and Driger MS do not reduce the need for this set, as it comes with other uncommon/useful beyblades and a very hard to find stadium, and they're also recolours so they are more valuable than the starter set ones that are everywhere Other than the "reducing the need for this set" bit, I'd think you could make your modifications to the beywiki article, as your version reads much better and you haven't changed anything factual (again, toher than the reducing the need part, just lop that off ) Also go check my updated griffolyon draft, seeing as you do a much better job than me and microsoft's combined spelling and grammar checking powers. When you have time, of course RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Imperial - Jan. 21, 2012 Yeah, I was looking for something good to put after that, so I thought something common isn't too good, right? I'll change that and edit the article. I'll check out your draft as well. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Ultra - Jan. 21, 2012 What? Don't change the article if you have no idea what you're talking about! The summary was the perfect truth! RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Hazel - Jan. 21, 2012 It seems someone here needs a reminder that unauthorized and unverified edits to Beywiki warrant reprimand. I undid his changes. Let me make this perfectly clear, while I'm at it: If you are making edits to a wiki article that have not been verified by people or at least agreed upon by staff members, you will have your edits undone and you will be warned. There is a reason we have an "Errors on the Beywiki" thread, and why we get Kei's approval before posting things. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Kei - Jan. 22, 2012 (Jan. 21, 2012 7:37 PM)Hazel Wrote: Let me make this perfectly clear, while I'm at it: If you are making edits to a wiki article that have not been verified by people or at least agreed upon by staff members, you will have your edits undone and you will be warned. There is a reason we have an "Errors on the Beywiki" thread, and why we get Kei's approval before posting things. Yeah ... if you're making any sort of significant change to an article (ie. not fixing a spelling mistake, re-wording a poorly written sentence, or updating combo suggestions), it should be posted in the article's thread (or "Errors on the Wiki" thread) first. Anyways, I've gone ahead and added images to the article. I also re-worded the end of the Overall section slightly. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - th!nk - Jan. 22, 2012 Yo guys, that was my bad: his changes were merely grammatical and I saw no problem with that. I didn't think there was any issue making grammatical fixes to beywiki, as long as someone has a good grasp of it, which imperial does. He didn't alter any facts and made the edits based on my advice, so if anyone deserves a warning here, it's me. However, hazel, did you even look at his edits before reverting them? They were entirely grammatical fixes, which, as Kei just pointed out, is perfectly okay. He didn't change the meaning of the article at all. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Hazel - Jan. 22, 2012 I did check his edits before reverting them, yes. I wasn't sure to what extent we allowed editing without permission, essentially. I will be happy to undo the warning if what he did was, in fact, permitted. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - th!nk - Jan. 22, 2012 As I said, I looked over his changes and figured there was no reason to not just add them (given it takes ages to get things approved and it was, again, merely semantic), so if it was too big, he did it on my advice, and the warning should be changed appropriately, though, I still don't see how it was necessary. RE: A-130 HMS Twin Battle Bey Double Shooter Set article - Hazel - Jan. 22, 2012 I was looking at the wrong ones when I originally composed that post, haha. The edited version reflects what actually took place, though. The warning was technically still for unauthorized edits to the Beywiki, but as I said before, I am perfectly fine with revoking it. |