The Change of hearts - DeltaFate - Nov. 26, 2011
Chapter 1 part one In 1998 , a boy named James Scott was crying in his attic. James was not crying because his father hit him, as his father did usually. He was crying because no one gave him a birthday present. This was James' ninth birthday, and everyone showed up with no gifts for him. The stupid party went on for hours without anyone noticing he was gone.The boy cried ll night until around 9:36. The next day, the boy opened the door it was a parcel from Japan where his uncle Jim lived. For some reason James couldn't open the parcel. " Carppppp! Why cant I get this parcel open?", cried James. "James sweetie you know your uncle Jim is always sending packages with a twist." His mother said. Just last year his uncle Jim sent him a package where he had to learn a lesson about some sharing carp. James kept the package in his room, trying to open it everyday before and after school. He tried sharing, caring, teamwork , and so much other carp . He deeply desired to open the parcel. The days passed by as James tried to open the parcel day by day, the parcel would not open for months. On July 15 2002, nearly 5 years passed since he had gotten the parcel it came open. "Gasp! It opened , James sent a letter to his uncle saying after nearly five years the parcel opened. Out of the parcel fell a .........
Stay tuned for part two of chapter one
Cnc For an upcoming writer
RE: The Change of hearts - Nano - Nov. 26, 2011
Just a tip, make a new line for dialog from a different person.
Example:
"This is boring" exclaimed John
"I know, it is" Alex agreed
Or somethign like that.
for i iz pro http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-a-bey-story
RE: The Change of hearts - DeltaFate - Nov. 26, 2011
Thx i will get on that in part two
RE: The Change of hearts - Cygnus - Nov. 26, 2011
(Nov. 26, 2011 5:00 AM)Fathom Wrote: In the year of 1998, James Scott was crying in his attic. James was not crying because his father hit him, as his father usually did. He was crying because no one had given him a birthday present. This was James' ninth birthday, and everyone showed up with no gifts. The stupid party went on for hours without anyone noticing he was gone.The boy cried until nightfall. The next day, James opened the door. It was a parcel from Japan where his uncle, Jim, lived. For some reason James couldn't open the parcel.
"Carppppp! Why cant I get this parcel open?" cried James.
"James sweetie you know your uncle Jim is always sending packages with a twist,"
his mother said.
Just last year his uncle Jim sent him a package where he had to learn a lesson about some sharing carp. James kept the package in his room, trying to open it everyday before and after school. He tried sharing, caring, teamwork, and so much other carp. He deeply desired to open the parcel. The days passed by as James tried to open the parcel day by day, the parcel would not open for months. On July 15 2002, nearly 5 years passed since he had gotten the parcel it came open.
"Gasp!"
It had opened. James sent a letter to his uncle saying after nearly five years the parcel opened. Out of the parcel fell a...
I did the best I could to fix it.
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