World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Story Title: The Dragons - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Story Title: The Dragons (/Thread-Story-Title-The-Dragons)

Story Title: The Dragons - Dr. Peace - Nov. 03, 2011

This is only an introduction to my story and my first creation for this website...XD

This is only to gain a feedback from the members whether or not you want me continue my writing and also to hear any suggestion or improvement that needs to be done.

Spoiler (Click to View)



thank you for taking your time to read this and please do leave some suggestions or comment. hope you guys like it..Joyful_2
the first chapter of this story will be up in next week or so... XD

RE: Story Title: The Dragons - RowDog - Nov. 03, 2011

It's alright. Nothing special. The speech seems a bit cliche and they speak so obviously. Like this:
(Nov. 03, 2011  9:25 AM)Dr. Peace Wrote: “By disposed of, you mean killed.”
Nah carp.
And there are also a few flaws like this one:
(Nov. 03, 2011  9:25 AM)Dr. Peace Wrote: “The Blue Dragon was a unique dragon that has a unique power depends on the person’s personality, and the skills that their descendant
doesn't make sense, I think there was a missing word.

I would like you to continue writing this though. I don't think I can truly judge the story just on that small amount of text. Good luck with this.


RE: Story Title: The Dragons - Dr. Peace - Nov. 03, 2011

thanks...i want the lines make it more dramatic like the person is in terror...can't even think the simple things...scared..like that... XD

well,, if go along the stories, actually, it will make sense...i don't want to spill the beans yet..look out for the first chapter...btw thanks...it really helped..XD