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+--- Thread: Coil (/Thread-Coil)
Coil - Roan - Aug. 22, 2011
Yet another one.
Twisted and gnarled is the path that leads
Deep into the center of the forest;
Yet a light pierces through the tangled weeds
And into our lives, where it is harnessed.
Suddenly our trails are illuminated;
No longer do we feel a need to pray
Or move toward what we are told is fated,
Because now there exists no other way.
In such a way our faith can be blinding,
Obfuscating the truth as if it were lies.
Yet the path of life is truly winding,
And limiting oneself would be unwise.
It is easier to move when one can see
Nothing but what is in front of their eyes;
But we have many doors to try our keys,
From which a more lucid route may arise.
RE: Coil - Sparta - Aug. 22, 2011
(Aug. 22, 2011 6:50 PM)Roan Poetically Wrote: In such a way our faith can be blinding,The 2nd line has 11 syllables, while every single other line has 10 (If I counted right). Except for that one, it was perfect
Obfuscating the truth as if it were lies.
Yet the path of life is truly winding,
And limiting oneself would be unwise.
.I would get rid of "Obfuscating". It's a good word but it messes up the line. Good, though!
RE: Coil - Roan - Aug. 23, 2011
I broke the syllables in that line on purpose; I wanted it to stand out.