WBO Official Writing Battle: NooDoo Soup wins! Another 5-0... - Temporal - Jul. 24, 2011
Okay, same rules as usual.
Entry One Quote:I stood overlooking the stadium, with the wind rushing through my hair.
“3, 2, 1! Let it Rip!†shouted my opponent and I.
“Welcome everybody to the exciting final of The Bladers of Tomorrow! The tournament for children! Today we have Shadow versus Yuuki.†shouted the commentator. Both Beys were circling the stadium at full speed as they both were attack types. My opponent, Yuuki, was a tall blonde girl with glowing blue eyes. She wore an orange oversized jumper with two red pockets in the sides. She wore skintight jeans and orange boots with red bottoms. Her Bey was Storm Leone 105XF. It was circling around the stadium at full speed. My Bey, Burn Pegasis AD145F, was also circling the stadium.
“Special Move! OV Drive!†I shouted. Pegasis started to speed up and it rapidly attacked Leone at full power.
“C’mon Pegasis,†I shouted, “One last attack!†Pegasis circled around the stadium once again and started charging towards Leone. It only took one more attack to knock Leone out of the stadium.
“And today’s winner is... Shadow.†announced the commentator. I took a bow and walked towards my prize... a Galaxy Pegasis W105R2F! My Burn Pegasis and I have been through a lot and it was worn down, so I might just have a new partner Bey. As I walked to the stand, I thought to myself. Burn Pegasis and I have been through a lot and I have won many of my battles with him. He was a great Bey. Would I take a chance and use Galaxy Pegasis or would I continue using Burn Pegasis. I decided I would have to take that chance.
“Thank you everyone for taking the time to view this exciting tournament. As many of you know the winner today was Shadow.†said the commentator. The commentator wore a red baseball cap with the letter B in black. He wore a black T-Shirt with BeyBlade written across the middle. He then wore loose jeans with blue and black runners. I was handed my Galaxy Pegasis followed by hundreds of clapping. I felt excited and happy.
I was walking home with my Galaxy Pegasis tucked safe in my pocket when I was approached slowly by a shadowed figure. I could make out a small Bey in his hands. He suddenly grabbed his launcher and launched his Bey straight at me. It was Fang Orso 105WB. I grabbed Galaxy Pegasis and launched straight at the Bey. They collided in mid air and Galaxy Pegasis knocked Fang Orso up into the air. Fang Orso had stopped spinning and had won and only in one collision. I then knew I had made the right choice in changing my Bey. But I still couldn’t make out my shadowed opponent. He then came out of the dark and into the light. He was wearing a large red baseball cap that was covering his eyes. His skin was very pale. His T-Shirt was dark blue with one red stripe down the middle. He wore shorts that were green and red. He wore no shoes. A plane flew right above my head but when I tried to look back at the figure he was gone, but there was a note in his place. It said: Meet me tomorrow at noon at the stadium in the park.
The next day at noon, I stood at the stadium waiting. He approached the stadium carefully and slowly with his launcher and Bey in his hand ready to launch. He was wearing the same clothes but he was wearing sandals. He grabbed Bey and started to count down.
“3, 2, 1!†I quickly grabbed my bey and launcher and shouted:
“Let it Rip!†Both Beys spun around the stadium and collided but this time Fang Orso didn’t take any damage. It was pushing Galaxy Pegasis back but Galaxy Pegasis quickly turned around and started pushing Fang Orso back.
“Go Pegasis! Galaxy Nova!†I yelled. Pegasis started to spin faster and circled the stadium really fast.
Success or failure? The great unknown!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Entry 2
Quote:"Don’t you think it’s about time to get rid of the childish toys?†my mother said, folding her arms in concern.
“What do you mean?†I said, not paying attention to her. I pulled back the string from my launcher and the two tops clashed with eachother.
“That,†she said pointing at the tops, her tone showing clear disgust.
Not again. Not this conversation again. I’ve had this conversation too many times. Stopping the two tops with my hand, I picked them up, staring sadly at the shining metal. She walked out before saying one last thing to me.
“You need to grow up, Shoji.†Then she shut the door and I was left in silence.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, I continued staring at my “toysâ€, as my mom considered them. Her words echoed in my head, hitting me like a bullet. Maybe she’s right, I’m fourteen and maybe I do need to grow up. Maybe after a million times of her saying it, it’d get through to my head.
But what about dad? He always used to tell me to never let the “Blader-Spirit†die off. Or when he told me to become the champion, and he’d be eternally proud. The memory brought tears to my eyes; ones I couldn’t hold back.
What am I saying? Dad’s gone. He’s not coming back. It’s time for me to grow up.
Grabbing a bag out from under my bed, and my box of tops, I took one last look at them.
“Goodbye, friends,†I whispered, placing each one in the bag. After each one was in, I tied the knot securely.
As I choked back the tears and rush of nostalgia, I stood up and grabbed the bag. The tatami mat crinkled under my feet as I walked down the hallway and to the door.
The trash bags were laid neatly to the left, my dog Koko inspecting them carefully. His reddish-brown tail wagged happily as he turned and saw me coming. He was a Shiba-Inu, with a wolf like snout and a thick, fluffy coat of fur. I petted him on the head before dropping the bag, the metal clanging on the pavement. As I walked away back into the house, I could hear him whimper softly. I turned slightly, and I could see him picking at the bags.
I sat cross legged on the pavement, my arms at my sides. I looked up at the sky, occasionally glancing at Koko nibbling on the trash. The clouds were nice and fluffy; fending off my sadness. Such a relaxing sight.
I tried to make out figures in the clouds, but all I could make out were two circular shapes right besides each other. Kind of like two Beyblades dishing it out. I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. But then I remembered, I no longer had Beyblades. I had to rely on cars, girls, and parties to make me happy. Like a regular teenager.
Sighing, I stood up and walked to the front door. I opened it and walked back into the house. What to do, what to do…
Throwing myself on the red, suede couch, I reached for the television remote.
“Guess I’ll just watch TV,†I said under my breath, pressing the ‘on’ button. The television flickered to life, colors bursting through the screen and into my eyes.
“Beyblade! Vari Ares! Delta Drive changes to three different bottoms!†an announcer yelled through the speakers. He was wearing a red bandana and a blue jacket, holding a top in his hand. Apparently its name was Vari Ares. “Next big hit!†he said. Clips of the Beyblade spinning around the stadium repeatedly showed for what seemed like an hour. I sighed a sigh of relief, thankful that the commercial was over, and my urge to go get my Beys from the trash subsided. But they only grew worse when they started showing battles.
In frustration, I turned the television off and stormed towards the direction of my room.
“What’s wrong, Shoji?†my mother asked.
“I’m going to grow up okay? Okay? I’m going to come home late and worry you, and I’m going to screw up my life. That’s what teens do, right mom? Well that’s what I’ll do, and you’re going to regret it.†I said before shutting the door behind me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, the rules are simple
First to Five votes wins.
Voting lasts until July 26th
Participants may NOT vote
Try to Elaborate, please.
Okay, let's get this thing underway!
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - Sparta - Jul. 24, 2011
Entry 2 had a dark ending, but it was definitely a great change. Besides, whoever the author was did a great job of describing the average life of teens
Entry 2.
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - KCPJ - Jul. 24, 2011
Both are good,but Entry 2 is more interesting with lot of description.Entry 2
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - Temporal - Jul. 24, 2011
I'd agree, but I don't think I'm allowed to vote... Ah, well. 0-2, Entry 2.
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - SwiftShadow - Jul. 25, 2011
I like the way that the author of entry 2 described the characters life and really let us understand the character. I also really liked the ending of it. I vote for entry 2!
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - CyberBlader27 - Jul. 25, 2011
Entry 2.
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - TenshouTsubasa - Jul. 25, 2011
Entry 2.
Entry 2 leaves a clue behind, and thus become interesting.
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: Round 1, BurnBlader vs. NooDoo Soup! - Temporal - Jul. 25, 2011
Game. Entry 2 wins. Entry two was...NooDoo Soup! Congratulations! Now, go vote on Katsuya and my battle, it's been dead for a while now.
RE: WBO Official Writing Battle: NooDoo Soup wins! Another 5-0... - Cygnus - Jul. 25, 2011
Well done NooDoo Soup. Congratulations.
|