World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Bus Stops - Printable Version

+- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org)
+-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations)
+--- Thread: Bus Stops (/Thread-Bus-Stops)



Bus Stops - Sparta - Jul. 14, 2011

Hey all, I'm back to doing what I love most-writing! A few times I said I was done but it seems I keep relapsing. My mom is thinking about having an intervention, but really I'm not addicted to writing!

All joking aside, this is a story idea I've been saving up and developing for quite a while.
NOTICE: Just so I'm clear, although this has nothing to do with TMoHS, I got the idea for a book about a slider because that's the one being Kyon has yet to have seen. So no copy write.

DISCLAIMER: Don't worry, this isn't about bus stops...mostly...

Prologue-As Usual... (Click to View)
Chapter 1-Too Young To Die! (Click to View)
Chapter 2-Kidnapped (Click to View)
R+C! (Rate and comment)


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Imperial - Jul. 14, 2011

I think the story is really good with lots of details. Good Job!


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Temporal - Jul. 14, 2011

Hah, banish the driver! Nice, Sparta. I hate running late too, so we can relate on that part. Anyways, nice spin on Earth's name.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 15, 2011

(Jul. 14, 2011  6:35 PM)LibraEagle Wrote: I think the story is really good with lots of details. Good Job!
Thanks. Any spelling mistakes, grammar?
(Jul. 14, 2011  8:53 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: Hah, banish the driver! Nice, Sparta. I hate running late too, so we can relate on that part. Anyways, nice spin on Earth's name.

Hah, he's not allowed to...

Thanks for the comment. Any suggestions?


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Imperial - Jul. 15, 2011

(Jul. 15, 2011  3:02 AM)Sparta Wrote:
(Jul. 14, 2011  6:35 PM)LibraEagle Wrote: I think the story is really good with lots of details. Good Job!
Thanks. Any spelling mistakes, grammar?
I Didn't find any. So like what is the plot of the story or will u reveal it later


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 15, 2011

(Jul. 15, 2011  3:14 AM)LibraEagle Wrote:
(Jul. 15, 2011  3:02 AM)Sparta Wrote:
(Jul. 14, 2011  6:35 PM)LibraEagle Wrote: I think the story is really good with lots of details. Good Job!
Thanks. Any spelling mistakes, grammar?
I Didn't find any. So like what is the plot of the story or will u reveal it later

It will be revealed pretty soon, so there's no point in me telling you. Besides, it'll keep you reading the story Joyful_2


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Temporal - Jul. 15, 2011

Later reveal. Prologues NEVER give much away. Anyway, impeccable grammar, I'll scan it again to double-check.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 15, 2011

(Jul. 15, 2011  3:30 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: Later reveal. Prologues NEVER give much away. Anyway, impeccable grammar, I'll scan it again to double-check.

Yeah, true. Keeps the reader interested. And cool, thanks.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 15, 2011

Next chapter! Ole!

Chapter 1-Too Young To Die! (Click to View)



RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 16, 2011

Any comments or suggestions for this chapter?

Anywhoozles, I'm not going to be here for about 2 weeks, starting wednesday. I'll try to post the next chapter before I leave so it's not 3 weeks until chapter 2.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Temporal - Jul. 16, 2011

Hah, very nice. Still no issues as of now. I'd just prefer that either Ok was spelled Okay, or OK. That's just me, and the story is great regardless.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - MaximumX - Jul. 17, 2011

Pretty good so far. Just don't ditch it halfway through (don't even try to say you've never done that).


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 17, 2011

(Jul. 17, 2011  10:46 PM)DrigerMV Wrote: Pretty good so far. Just don't ditch it halfway through (don't even try to say you've never done that).

??? I never dit-

You know, this might be a good point...

To prove you wrong, I'm writing the next chapter! I'll post it later on tonight when I, for the first time in my life, go back and edit+revise my chapter.

Amazing, right?!


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - TITAN - Jul. 17, 2011

Am I the only one who noticed the Beyblade reference? Anywho, I really like it! You've always had beasty spelling and grammar.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 18, 2011

(Jul. 17, 2011  10:56 PM)Titan Blader Wrote: Am I the only one who noticed the Beyblade reference? Anywho, I really like it! You've always had beasty spelling and grammar.

Thanks, and yeah, so far. Anything besides the grammar you liked or disliked?


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - TITAN - Jul. 19, 2011

I'm not really sure what I like about this so much. It's just really good.


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 19, 2011

(Jul. 19, 2011  1:39 AM)Titan Blader Wrote: I'm not really sure what I like about this so much. It's just really good.

...Cool XD. Any misspellings, grammar, things you'd like me to change...?


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 20, 2011

Alright, I really owe you guys an update before I leave for the next 2 weeks. So here.

Chapter 2-Kidnapped (Click to View)
Sorry, but I won't be updating for some time now. If you want to know why, check the going away/coming back forums.

...Reviews?


RE: Bus Stops-Book 1 - Sparta - Jul. 24, 2011

WIFi has saved me from tech withdrawal, so I'll start working on the next chapter. Expect it sometime within the week.


RE: Bus Stops - Temporal - Jul. 24, 2011

Win WiFi is win. Nice to know, Sparta.