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+--- Thread: New story. (/Thread-New-story)
New story. - Hope - Jun. 28, 2011
Chapter one;
Lightning fell from the sky like raindrops, setting people alight. Even the best runners couldn’t save their families from their fate. The castle erupted in flames as a single bolt of lightning staked the watchtower. Guards fell off the wall trying to save themselves, but nothing could stop this. The temple was packed with families and soldiers praying for this storm to be over. Then as a small boy knelt down to pray the storm stopped. Complete and utter silence. Cheers erupted from the temple as people flocked to see who had stopped the storm. But the small kid had left without a trace. As he rushed to escape the crowd he found something, on the floor. It was round and circular. He placed it in his pocket and ran home. Little did he know that he was holding something far more precious than a toy.
RE: New story. - Iakou - Jun. 28, 2011
I like the concept of this
RE: New story. - Hope - Jun. 28, 2011
Ok thanks Iakou,next chapter up today sorry but i'm going to New Zealand tomorow so you'll just have to wait for chapter 3.
RE: New story. - Iakou - Jun. 28, 2011
Coolff
RE: New story. - Sparta - Jun. 28, 2011
Your writing is a lot better than practically every person on this site.
You describe well, but you often forget to use commas. It will make your writing more fluent.
PM me if you want a more detailed review, because right now I'm going to sleep (even though it is 1:46 in the afternoon).
RE: New story. - Hope - Jun. 29, 2011
Oh thanks Sparta!
Next chapter up soon.By the way my NZ trip was postponed.
RE: New story. - Iakou - Jun. 29, 2011
To bad, for you, but not for me cause now i get more story