World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Monsterology - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Monsterology (/Thread-Monsterology)



Monsterology - Sparta - Apr. 30, 2011

Yeah, I know this is the 3rd story I've created, but I get lots of good ideas everyday and I need to write them down! I want to be an author (and a teacher so I have a stable career) when I grow up so I really value good feedback. None of that "Hate it." or "Great story" stuff. I appreciate that, but I what I like the most is real constructive criticism.

Aberrant to my usual tactic of starting with a teaser trailer, I'm just going to start!
Monsterology (Click to View)


Feedback is golden, dudes!


RE: Monsterology - Light Yagami - Apr. 30, 2011

good story. i will give feed back and critism when more is written. as there is really not much to go on by one chapter


RE: Monsterology - Deikailo - Apr. 30, 2011

Your writing has improved. Smile

I really like the character development - it shows that you've been working on that. We can already get an idea of the protagonist's personality based on the contrast of his bunkmate. You've also been paying more attention to details. You might want to include any odors since smell is the number one sense to trigger memories. Talk about his sheets, too.

Since that's day one, you should get into names of main characters. I'd look into posting more details about the walls and have your protagonist rant/vent about his environment so we get a feel for his current situation since the setting is going to change with the advent of the plot.


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 01, 2011

(Apr. 30, 2011  11:47 PM)Deikailo Wrote: Your writing has improved. Smile

I really like the character development - it shows that you've been working on that. We can already get an idea of the protagonist's personality based on the contrast of his bunkmate. You've also been paying more attention to details. You might want to include any odors since smell is the number one sense to trigger memories. Talk about his sheets, too.

Since that's day one, you should get into names of main characters. I'd look into posting more details about the walls and have your protagonist rant/vent about his environment so we get a feel for his current situation since the setting is going to change with the advent of the plot.

Wow, great! Thank you, and I'm glad you like it.


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 01, 2011

Chapter two is up! As always, please comment and rate!


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 03, 2011

Chapter 3 will be up sometime today since I'm home from school (lyme disease relapse)


RE: Monsterology - Janstarblast - May. 03, 2011

Why are you so good!? Its awesome! I always love reading your stories. Also, the new style of poll is great! At least I saw such a poll for the first time around WBO!


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 03, 2011

(May. 03, 2011  3:01 PM)Janstarblast Wrote: Why are you so good!? Its awesome! I always love reading your stories. Also, the new style of poll is great! At least I saw such a poll for the first time around WBO!

Haha ty.

Btw the I've never seen this kind of poll either, but I like it better than random quotes


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 03, 2011

Chapter 3 is up! Please comment and rate!


RE: Monsterology - Ga' - May. 03, 2011

Very, very nice! Hats off to you! Too bad everyone stopped reading my story since I was unable to write stuff. I've finished Chapter 1 now too! But no one reads it...

Err, sorry about that. But yeah, awesome story. And if you intended to have an image for Behemoth, the link is broken, just saying.


RE: Monsterology - Sparta - May. 03, 2011

(May. 03, 2011  8:46 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: Very, very nice! Hats off to you! Too bad everyone stopped reading my story since I was unable to write stuff. I've finished Chapter 1 now too! But no one reads it...

Err, sorry about that. But yeah, awesome story. And if you intended to have an image for Behemoth, the link is broken, just saying.

Yah, I noticed Unhappy....but thank you!

Yah, I'll fix the image.