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+--- Thread: Tuggie's Poems (/Thread-Tuggie-s-Poems)
Tuggie's Poems - TheUnkownGod - Dec. 19, 2008
Well, I used to have tons of poems, but I have not written a poem for maybe a year now. Oh well, here are two. If I make or find more, I'll post them for you.
"Empty"
As the Gypsy played his fiddle,
his dirty hands began to twiddle.
His coin pot was empty inside,
he the Gypsy inside had died.
No one ever listened to him,
no person ever had the whim.
All of his dreams were put to shelf,
that one day he shattered himself.
The pot, the fiddle, had meant nothing,
Deep inside he was missing something
His empty pot, his empty heart,
His dreams were lost, this day they depart
'Sandstorm'
The sandstorm fumed,
And the winds prolonged,
Mingling the colors of sand and sky
Making it a wonder to behold.
Yet causing a fierce destruction
With the wrath of hell.
The sand was a swarm of locusts,
And as furious as Satan’s pride.
Creating that land void,
That Barren land of the empty heart.
RE: Tuggie's Poems - Rocky - Dec. 19, 2008
Hmm....I think I prefer the second one. They're both good though.
RE: Tuggie's Poems - TheUnkownGod - Dec. 20, 2008
(Dec. 19, 2008 7:45 PM)yruahippo Wrote: Hmm....I think I prefer the second one. They're both good though.
Thank you
RE: Tuggie's Poems - Roan - Dec. 20, 2008
The second one is definitely better.
The first sounds pretty juvenile, which isn't exactly a bad thing all the time, but it sounds trite and a little cliche here.
RE: Tuggie's Poems - TheUnkownGod - Dec. 20, 2008
(Dec. 20, 2008 4:32 AM)Roan Wrote: The second one is definitely better.
The first sounds pretty juvenile, which isn't exactly a bad thing all the time, but it sounds trite and a little cliche here.
Thanks, I appreciate the input