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+--- Thread: Beyblade: Legends (/Thread-Beyblade-Legends)
RE: Beyblade: Legends - Ga' - Jan. 18, 2012
Masterful as always, NightWolf. Well, you asked for some good feedback, so shall it be written so shall it be done.
A quick space error, should be:
Quote:clicked his blade into place, ready for the next matchYou had a double space around the comma.
You use plenty of antecedents, I see. Sometimes, however, especially in paragraph 7, they are overused, mainly 'his'. Maybe reference the object (ie launcher, and whatever else you reference) more to cut down the confusion?
Blatant product placement would be better worded as 'brand advertisement' IMO, especially since you are advertising a shop.
Quick physics question: If Reiji's blade has a sharp tip, why is it orbiting the stadium?
That's it for now, expect a full review of the chapter(s? I'll see if I have time to get a 'full' full review done) later.
PS. Is the person in your sig Falkner, or simply a fan-made character?
RE: Beyblade: Legends - NightWolf7919 - Jan. 18, 2012
When enough spin is imparted on a sharp tip, it moves much more in comparison to a defensive tip(as Ryouma's has)
And yes it's Falkner(flying types ftw)
RE: Beyblade: Legends - Infinite Blader - Jun. 21, 2012
That story is AMAZING!!!
RE: Beyblade: Legends - bennettcarroll - Jun. 22, 2012
Charcter: Dason Kenyu
Bey: Grand Anubis 130 PD
Appearance: Grayish brown hair brown eyes White vest with blue stirp in the middle with baggy jeans and Red vans sneakers
Personality: trusting, amazing blader and friend
RE: Beyblade: Legends - NightWolf7919 - Jul. 23, 2013
I have an announcement to make. Beyblade : Legends will indeed be continuing despite the midseason hiatus. Also, I've begun redoing some of the older episodes. I will be redoing all of the old episodes as well as completing new ones so be weary for updates! Episode 13 is coming up on Thursday!
Oh and when I say Redo, I mean refurbish. As in, correcting grammar, improving syntax, adding motifs, all that good stuff. Just stuff that bothered me upon rereading them! As you know this work is over 2 years old so definitely subject to improvement.
Redone Episodes:
Episode 1
Episode 2 part 1
Episode 2 part 2
Episode 3