HEY DELETE THIS THREAD - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 24, 2022
HEY DELETE THIS THREAD
and all my other threads
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Super A - Jan. 24, 2022
Cool dude you might want to keep adding to this thread
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 24, 2022
Its rewritten, I don't want to add things that was wasn't planned in the thread before
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Super A - Jan. 24, 2022
Oh maybe you should make a thread about the weirdest things in beyblade
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 24, 2022
Episode 1 Preview
Aelius: Yeah First Episode (Kiyomi at junior high receiving)
Kiyomi: Its Just a Flashback episode (Aelius Spiking)
Aelius: No its not, Yomi (They see Teraka Academy at the same time)
Kiyomi: Yes it is and dont call me that (Kiyomi Serving)
Aelius: Whatever (Aelius spiking on Junior High)
Kiyomi: Next on Barreball no Tsuki: Moonrise
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Super A - Jan. 24, 2022
Wow you are good at this
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 24, 2022
Theme Song Based on Hikari Are
"Ace Serve"
Im gonna fly high, jumping, shining so bright
All the elements are combined
Were a Meteor, lets go - Flying, Blinding through the sky
Like the sun and moon combined
Acing this one Serve
Going to Jump, Flying high, then spike and shine
Acing this one Serve, right to the sky, fly, cant be received
Next, received then go to the setter, its a dump shot.
Acing this one Serve, a quick attack with blinding speed.
You cant Handle our teams power attack
(Acing this one serve) You cant Handle this one serve for sure.
(Acing this one serve) Attack and Block, Defend and Spike you cant beat this.
(Acing this one serve) Receive it like fire, burning igniting
Meteor attack, the moon and sun combined
You can not win without a team besides you
The moon is shining at the sky (Ace Serve)
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Super A - Jan. 24, 2022
Dude!!!you are good at this whole thing
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 24, 2022
THANKS !
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - xros - Jan. 24, 2022
(Jan. 24, 2022 4:06 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: Theme Song Based on Hikari Are
"Ace Serve"
Im gonna fly high, jumping, shining so bright
All the elements are combined
Were a Meteor, lets go - Flying, Blinding through the sky
Like the sun and moon combined
Acing this one Serve
Going to Jump, Flying high, then spike and shine
Acing this one Serve, right to the sky, fly, cant be received
Next, received then go to the setter, its a dump shot.
Acing this one Serve, a quick attack with blinding speed.
You cant Handle our teams power attack
(Acing this one serve) You cant Handle this one serve for sure.
(Acing this one serve) Attack and Block, Defend and Spike you cant beat this.
(Acing this one serve) Receive it like fire, burning igniting
Meteor attack, the moon and sun combined
You can not win without a team besides you
The moon is shining at the sky (Ace Serve)
pog
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 25, 2022
Fun facts about the team
1. Tsukiyomi has a pet grasshopper named Slice (fun fact to I myself WILL have a pet grasshopper named Slice DeMantis)
2. Hiro is an Avid Gamer
3. Daedalus's name is based on the father of Icarus which will be planned to be Daedalus half younger brother.
4. Sora is the last revealed member of the team
5. Aelius has a pet grasshopper named Annabela
6. Chikara and Bo's name etymology is Chikara which means power and Bokuasa which I got from Boku meaning I and Asa meaning Dynasty or Morning so it means I am the Morning but when combined is also like the Indonesian word Berkuasa which means Rule and in Malay it means Power
7. Gai and Cho's is formely a member of the soccer, ping pong and antology club
8. The Seniors never got a grade below 80
Back to the Slice fact I can get it if I do my chores, make his house and take care of it Alone so dont ask any pics
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - xros - Jan. 25, 2022
(Jan. 25, 2022 2:35 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: Fun facts about the team
1. Tsukiyomi has a pet grasshopper named Slice (fun fact to I myself WILL have a pet grasshopper named Slice DeMantis)
2. Hiro is an Avid Gamer
3. Daedalus's name is based on the father of Icarus which will be planned to be Daedalus half younger brother.
4. Sora is the last revealed member of the team
5. Aelius has a pet grasshopper named Annabela
6. Chikara and Bo's name etymology is Chikara which means power and Bokuasa which I got from Boku meaning I and Asa meaning Dynasty or Morning so it means I am the Morning but when combined is also like the Indonesian word Berkuasa which means Rule and in Malay it means Power
7. Gai and Cho's is formely a member of the soccer, ping pong and antology club
8. The Seniors never got a grade below 80
Back to the Slice fact I can get it if I do my chores, make his house and take care of it Alone so dont ask any pics
Wow! Nice!
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 26, 2022
First Episode!
Season 1 Episode 1: Moonrise
Kiyomi: Finally, I'm here
Aelius: Welcome to Teraka Academy
Kiyomi: Yeah
[Ace Serve Plays]
Kiyomi, ??? and ???: Yes, the Teraka Academy volleyball gymnasium
Kiyomi: [Wait is these 2 people], Daedalus, Hiro long time no see
Hiro: Yeah
Daedalus: Hi
Aelius: Lets come in
Kiyomi: Where were you from
Aelius: I buyed some soda
Kiyomi: Ok
Aelius Lets go
[The seniors come from the other doors]
Aelius: These are your seniors, before we introduce ourselves, introduce your self
Kiyomi: Ok, I'm Tsukiyomi Tenmogaku, I used to play as setter, I'm from Hebiko Private Junior High
Hiro: I'm Hiro Chinen, I played as setter for Sameko junior high, gaming division
Dae: I am Daedalus Chokosobiru, I played as Middle Blocker for Sameko junior high, sports division
Daigo: Good enough, I'm Captain Riku Daigo
Ishizaki: I'm Setter Kageyam Ishizaki
Bo: I'm Bokuasa Chokosobiru
Chikara: And I'm Chikara
Twins: And were the middle blockers of the team
Aelius: I'm Aelius Tenmogaku, Pinch Server
Gai and Cho: Were the Outside Hitters
Gai: I'm Kuwagai
Cho: and I'm Cho
Kiyomi: Ok, who's the two others
Chikara: What do you mean
Kiyomi: Where's the Ace and Libero
Aelius: Don't mention it, please, at least until your first practice match
Kiyomi: Ok, sure I guess
Daigo: Ok freshmen let me ask you some questions.
Freshmen: Sure.
Daigo: Do you want to be standing on the court?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be in the starting lineup?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be champions?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: That's never gonna hapen : )
[The freshmens give a "Whaaat" Stare]
Daigo: If you cant beat your seniors.
Freshmen YES LETS DO IT
Daigo: Then Chikara, Bo and Aelius go to your places
[The Battle Starts]
Dae: Do that killer serve, Kiyomi
Kiyomi: Ok, Daedalus
[Kiyomi Jump Serves]
Chikara: Aelius, get it.
Aelius: Bo, right [receiving the ball to Bo]
Bo: Chi, last [Tossing to Chikara]
Chikara: 2 Blockers
Dae: Hiro lets do it
Hiro: Sure Dae
[They jump as Chikara spikes]
Aelius: back on. Woah that was strong
Hiro: Chance ball, Dae spike
[Dae Spikes]
Aelius: Quick attack
Bo: Chi Last [Bo tosses to Chikara]
Chikara: No Prob [Spiking]
Kiyomi: Plan on
Dae: No Prob
Hiro: No complaints
Dae: If I cant do a kill block, I'll do a soft one[Dae Blocks]
Kiyomi: And if we cant win in our own ways [Receiving to Hiro]
Hiro: We'll do together [Spiking]
[The Freshmen's score one points with the scoreboard turns Moon: 1 - Sun: 0]
Freshmen's: Yeah a Point
[The two teams give a competitive grin, ending the episode]
Ratings/Reviews super Appreciated
@Hollowmind8 Super A BeybladeManiac0 reshiwum xros
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - xros - Jan. 26, 2022
(Jan. 26, 2022 12:17 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: First Episode!
Season 1 Episode 1: Moonrise
Kiyomi: Finally, I'm here
Aelius: Welcome to Teraka Academy
Kiyomi: Yeah
[Ace Serve Plays]
Kiyomi, ??? and ???: Yes, the Teraka Academy volleyball gymnasium
Kiyomi: [Wait is these 2 people], Daedalus, Hiro long time no see
Hiro: Yeah
Daedalus: Hi
Aelius: Lets come in
Kiyomi: Where were you from
Aelius: I buyed some soda
Kiyomi: Ok
Aelius Lets go
[The seniors come from the other doors]
Aelius: These are your seniors, before we introduce ourselves, introduce your self
Kiyomi: Ok, I'm Tsukiyomi Tenmogaku, I used to play as setter, I'm from Hebiko Private Junior High
Hiro: I'm Hiro Chinen, I played as setter for Sameko junior high, gaming division
Dae: I am Daedalus Chokosobiru, I played as Middle Blocker for Sameko junior high, sports division
Daigo: Good enough, I'm Captain Riku Daigo
Ishizaki: I'm Setter Kageyam Ishizaki
Bo: I'm Bokuasa Chokosobiru
Chikara: And I'm Chikara
Twins: And were the middle blockers of the team
Aelius: I'm Aelius Tenmogaku, Pinch Server
Gai and Cho: Were the Outside Hitters
Gai: I'm Kuwagai
Cho: and I'm Cho
Kiyomi: Ok, who's the two others
Chikara: What do you mean
Kiyomi: Where's the Ace and Libero
Aelius: Don't mention it, please, at least until your first practice match
Kiyomi: Ok, sure I guess
Daigo: Ok freshmen let me ask you some questions.
Freshmen: Sure.
Daigo: Do you want to be standing on the court?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be in the starting lineup?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be champions?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: That's never gonna hapen : )
[The freshmens give a "Whaaat" Stare]
Daigo: If you cant beat your seniors.
Freshmen YES LETS DO IT
Daigo: Then Chikara, Bo and Aelius go to your places
[The Battle Starts]
Dae: Do that killer serve, Kiyomi
Kiyomi: Ok, Daedalus
[Kiyomi Jump Serves]
Chikara: Aelius, get it.
Aelius: Bo, right [receiving the ball to Bo]
Bo: Chi, last [Tossing to Chikara]
Chikara: 2 Blockers
Dae: Hiro lets do it
Hiro: Sure Dae
[They jump as Chikara spikes]
Aelius: back on. Woah that was strong
Hiro: Chance ball, Dae spike
[Dae Spikes]
Aelius: Quick attack
Bo: Chi Last [Bo tosses to Chikara]
Chikara: No Prob [Spiking]
Kiyomi: Plan on
Dae: No Prob
Hiro: No complaints
Dae: If I cant do a kill block, I'll do a soft one[Dae Blocks]
Kiyomi: And if we cant win in our own ways [Receiving to Hiro]
Hiro: We'll do together [Spiking]
[The Freshmen's score one points with the scoreboard turns Moon: 1 - Sun: 0]
Freshmen's: Yeah a Point
[The two teams give a competitive grin, ending the episode]
Ratings/Reviews super Appreciated
@Hollowmind8 Super A BeybladeManiac0 reshiwum xros
Wow! It's great! 9.3/10
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 26, 2022
If I guess correctly its because of the grammar making it 9.3
Anyway some Character Bio's coming soon
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Hollowmind13 - Jan. 26, 2022
(Jan. 26, 2022 12:17 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: First Episode!
Season 1 Episode 1: Moonrise
Kiyomi: Finally, I'm here
Aelius: Welcome to Teraka Academy
Kiyomi: Yeah
[Ace Serve Plays]
Kiyomi, ??? and ???: Yes, the Teraka Academy volleyball gymnasium
Kiyomi: [Wait is these 2 people], Daedalus, Hiro long time no see
Hiro: Yeah
Daedalus: Hi
Aelius: Lets come in
Kiyomi: Where were you from
Aelius: I buyed some soda
Kiyomi: Ok
Aelius Lets go
[The seniors come from the other doors]
Aelius: These are your seniors, before we introduce ourselves, introduce your self
Kiyomi: Ok, I'm Tsukiyomi Tenmogaku, I used to play as setter, I'm from Hebiko Private Junior High
Hiro: I'm Hiro Chinen, I played as setter for Sameko junior high, gaming division
Dae: I am Daedalus Chokosobiru, I played as Middle Blocker for Sameko junior high, sports division
Daigo: Good enough, I'm Captain Riku Daigo
Ishizaki: I'm Setter Kageyam Ishizaki
Bo: I'm Bokuasa Chokosobiru
Chikara: And I'm Chikara
Twins: And were the middle blockers of the team
Aelius: I'm Aelius Tenmogaku, Pinch Server
Gai and Cho: Were the Outside Hitters
Gai: I'm Kuwagai
Cho: and I'm Cho
Kiyomi: Ok, who's the two others
Chikara: What do you mean
Kiyomi: Where's the Ace and Libero
Aelius: Don't mention it, please, at least until your first practice match
Kiyomi: Ok, sure I guess
Daigo: Ok freshmen let me ask you some questions.
Freshmen: Sure.
Daigo: Do you want to be standing on the court?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be in the starting lineup?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be champions?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: That's never gonna hapen : )
[The freshmens give a "Whaaat" Stare]
Daigo: If you cant beat your seniors.
Freshmen YES LETS DO IT
Daigo: Then Chikara, Bo and Aelius go to your places
[The Battle Starts]
Dae: Do that killer serve, Kiyomi
Kiyomi: Ok, Daedalus
[Kiyomi Jump Serves]
Chikara: Aelius, get it.
Aelius: Bo, right [receiving the ball to Bo]
Bo: Chi, last [Tossing to Chikara]
Chikara: 2 Blockers
Dae: Hiro lets do it
Hiro: Sure Dae
[They jump as Chikara spikes]
Aelius: back on. Woah that was strong
Hiro: Chance ball, Dae spike
[Dae Spikes]
Aelius: Quick attack
Bo: Chi Last [Bo tosses to Chikara]
Chikara: No Prob [Spiking]
Kiyomi: Plan on
Dae: No Prob
Hiro: No complaints
Dae: If I cant do a kill block, I'll do a soft one[Dae Blocks]
Kiyomi: And if we cant win in our own ways [Receiving to Hiro]
Hiro: We'll do together [Spiking]
[The Freshmen's score one points with the scoreboard turns Moon: 1 - Sun: 0]
Freshmen's: Yeah a Point
[The two teams give a competitive grin, ending the episode]
Ratings/Reviews super Appreciated
Hollowmind8 "Super A" BeybladeManiac0 reshiwum xros .
7.8928/10
.
It is only the beginning, so normally the grades are lower.
Grammar wise you could use Google docs and/or Grammarly.
Dialog can be polished for sure, and maybe add a little more emotion.
Overall not bad, but not excellent either
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Jan. 29, 2022
(Jan. 26, 2022 8:14 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: (Jan. 26, 2022 12:17 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: First Episode!
Season 1 Episode 1: Moonrise
Kiyomi: Finally, I'm here
Aelius: Welcome to Teraka Academy
Kiyomi: Yeah
[Ace Serve Plays]
Kiyomi, ??? and ???: Yes, the Teraka Academy volleyball gymnasium
Kiyomi: [Wait is these 2 people], Daedalus, Hiro long time no see
Hiro: Yeah
Daedalus: Hi
Aelius: Lets come in
Kiyomi: Where were you from
Aelius: I buyed some soda
Kiyomi: Ok
Aelius Lets go
[The seniors come from the other doors]
Aelius: These are your seniors, before we introduce ourselves, introduce your self
Kiyomi: Ok, I'm Tsukiyomi Tenmogaku, I used to play as setter, I'm from Hebiko Private Junior High
Hiro: I'm Hiro Chinen, I played as setter for Sameko junior high, gaming division
Dae: I am Daedalus Chokosobiru, I played as Middle Blocker for Sameko junior high, sports division
Daigo: Good enough, I'm Captain Riku Daigo
Ishizaki: I'm Setter Kageyam Ishizaki
Bo: I'm Bokuasa Chokosobiru
Chikara: And I'm Chikara
Twins: And were the middle blockers of the team
Aelius: I'm Aelius Tenmogaku, Pinch Server
Gai and Cho: Were the Outside Hitters
Gai: I'm Kuwagai
Cho: and I'm Cho
Kiyomi: Ok, who's the two others
Chikara: What do you mean
Kiyomi: Where's the Ace and Libero
Aelius: Don't mention it, please, at least until your first practice match
Kiyomi: Ok, sure I guess
Daigo: Ok freshmen let me ask you some questions.
Freshmen: Sure.
Daigo: Do you want to be standing on the court?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be in the starting lineup?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: Do you want to be champions?
Freshmen: Yes
Daigo: That's never gonna hapen : )
[The freshmens give a "Whaaat" Stare]
Daigo: If you cant beat your seniors.
Freshmen YES LETS DO IT
Daigo: Then Chikara, Bo and Aelius go to your places
[The Battle Starts]
Dae: Do that killer serve, Kiyomi
Kiyomi: Ok, Daedalus
[Kiyomi Jump Serves]
Chikara: Aelius, get it.
Aelius: Bo, right [receiving the ball to Bo]
Bo: Chi, last [Tossing to Chikara]
Chikara: 2 Blockers
Dae: Hiro lets do it
Hiro: Sure Dae
[They jump as Chikara spikes]
Aelius: back on. Woah that was strong
Hiro: Chance ball, Dae spike
[Dae Spikes]
Aelius: Quick attack
Bo: Chi Last [Bo tosses to Chikara]
Chikara: No Prob [Spiking]
Kiyomi: Plan on
Dae: No Prob
Hiro: No complaints
Dae: If I cant do a kill block, I'll do a soft one[Dae Blocks]
Kiyomi: And if we cant win in our own ways [Receiving to Hiro]
Hiro: We'll do together [Spiking]
[The Freshmen's score one points with the scoreboard turns Moon: 1 - Sun: 0]
Freshmen's: Yeah a Point
[The two teams give a competitive grin, ending the episode]
Ratings/Reviews super Appreciated
Hollowmind8 "Super A" BeybladeManiac0 reshiwum xros .
7.8928/10
.
It is only the beginning, so normally the grades are lower.
Grammar wise you could use Google docs and/or Grammarly.
Dialog can be polished for sure, and maybe add a little more emotion.
Overall not bad, but not excellent either
Its still the first episode also i still wanna rewrite for some reason
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - Hollowmind13 - Jan. 29, 2022
(Jan. 29, 2022 7:46 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: (Jan. 26, 2022 8:14 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: .
7.8928/10
.
It is only the beginning, so normally the grades are lower.
Grammar wise you could use Google docs and/or Grammarly.
Dialog can be polished for sure, and maybe add a little more emotion.
Overall not bad, but not excellent either
Its still the first episode also i still wanna rewrite for some reason .
Well, you can rewrite it, just don't create yet another thread lo. Just edit it and send again? or announce that it is edited
RE: Barreball no Tsuki/Moon of Volleyball [Rewritten] - CelBeyBlade - Feb. 14, 2022
(Jan. 25, 2022 2:35 AM)CelBeyBlade Wrote: Fun facts about the team
1. Tsukiyomi has a pet grasshopper named Slice (fun fact to I myself WILL have a pet grasshopper named Slice DeMantis)
2. Hiro is an Avid Gamer
3. Daedalus's name is based on the father of Icarus which will be planned to be Daedalus half younger brother.
4. Sora is the last revealed member of the team
5. Aelius has a pet grasshopper named Annabela
6. Chikara and Bo's name etymology is Chikara which means power and Bokuasa which I got from Boku meaning I and Asa meaning Dynasty or Morning so it means I am the Morning but when combined is also like the Indonesian word Berkuasa which means Rule and in Malay it means Power
7. Gai and Cho's is formely a member of the soccer, ping pong and antology club
8. The Seniors never got a grade below 80
Back to the Slice fact I can get it if I do my chores, make his house and take care of it Alone so dont ask any pics
I got my another Grasshopper and renamed it Samurai when Slice Died
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