+- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org)
+-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations)
+--- Thread: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story)-Re-Editing And Finishing At Long Last (/Thread-A-Brave-New-World-Beyblade-Story-Re-Editing-And-Finishing-At-Long-Last)
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 16, 2011
Lucky, you got post 200.............
part 2 will be up VERY SOON
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 17, 2011
Alright! Part 2: Goodbye Dranzer
It exploded. The building flat out exploded. It was a mushroom shape, with a ring around the middle. It shook the ground and popped my eardrums. We all dove to the ground, expecting shrapnel, but instead my ringing ears detected something that sounded close to laughing. "Kai!" I shouted, slowly getting up. When I turned around, the sight I saw scarred me. I saw Kai, barely standing, a purple ghost-like structure taking a nosedive through his chest. It swooped through, and Kai Hiwatari fell to the ground, dead. Something snapped in me right then and there that has never fully healed. I was mad- beyond that, furious!- at Kelvin, who had just returned to his body. I screamed like an axe murderer and charged at Kelvin who stood there, waiting for me. He smiled. "So you wanna play?" He mocked, pulling out his bey. He laughed. "Ok!" And with that, he launched. I quickly pulled out Dranzer, took a deep breath, and launched. Dranzer soared out to meet his counterpart in mid-air. The contact created a huge explosion, and both beys were sent flying backwards. This is it, I thought. This is where I can finally finish off The Black Sun. This is where it happens. I could feel the energy pulsating from Dranzer. But would it be enough. I raised my hand. "Special move!" I shouted. "Meteor shower ultima!!" Dranzer went up as commanded, a black hole opened, and the comets poured out. Dranzer was ready to finish off the seemingly weakened Black Dranzer, but he smiled. I was taken aback. "Whaa?" I started. But I didn't finish, because right when Dranzer was coming down in the final meteor, Black Dranzer began to radiate dark energy. Dranzer finally came down, and that was when Black Dranzer struck, hitting Dranzer with tentacles of Dark energy. "I will now begin my Dark move" He said calmly. I gasped. "What? Dark move? You have a dark move?" He chuckled menacingly. "Of course I do. And you have earned the right to see it in action! Congratulations!" His body swayed back and forth, becoming nothing but a shadow, two red eyes peering out at us from the darkness. "Dark move," He hissed. "Black Dranzer! Fading darkness explosion turbine destruction!" Black Dranzer appeared in front of the two piercing eyes, seemingly floating in the darkness. Then, the darkness around him began to swirl in a clockwise pattern, the swirl widening and widening until the entire ground as far as we could see was part of the attack. The energy suddenly arose from the earth, like mist on a steamy road. It gathered around Black Dranzer, flashed once in a brilliant white light, then.............an explosion. Big, no, massive, rippling through entire universe, completely disintegrating the ground around us.......and me. I felt like my insides were burning, like I was being torched from the inside out. "AAAAAHHHHH!" I shrieked out in pain. But it was for nought, because for some reason no one could hear me. I was sure this was the end.........I was.........fading..........no, I thought weakly. This........I can't die........but it was to no avail. I faded.......faster.........faster.........my vision blurred, and the pain began to cease. This is it, I thought. I die now.............goodbye.........I failed.
*Now from third person*
When the explosion finally ceased, they saw nothing was left. They were on a single plateau, the drop around them leading to molten lava-the earths core. They gasped. Ethan was down. And Dranzer.....was stopped. Suddenly the spirit of Dranzer appeared, gave one last cry, and faded, the bey turning to dust. Zeo Cristian and Jin all ran towards Ethan. He wasn't moving. His body destroyed and battered. His clothes were in rags, but that was the least of their worries. Zeo pressed against his chest, waited, then sat up, tears streaming down his chest. Ethan was not breathing. "No!" Cristian cried. "This can't be!" Kelvin appeared again, looking satisfied. Teary eyed, they looked up at him with rage. He simply laughed. "This isn't over yet!" He said, and with that, he went for Ethan's soul. It seemed to go in slow motion. The spirit of Kelvin left his body, and made a nose dive towards Ethan. Cristian screamed and went to protect him. But Kelvin tossed him aside and kept going. Then Jin tried. Then Zeo. But he went right through them all and was close to Ethan. Time really slowed now. He entered Ethan's body. Out of nowhere, Pegasus arrived at the scene and dove for Kelvins empty body. Kelvin was halfway through Ethan's body, and had located his soul. He went to grab for it. Pegasus tackled Kelvin's body, and suddenly, the spirit of Kelvin retreated back. The slow motion ended, and Pegasus's mask suddenly fell off. It revealed a face that looked really similar to Ethan's. He got off of Kelvin, who looked furious. "There's no time to explain!" Pegasus shouted, his voice sounding like an older version of Ethan's. "Get Ethan and let's go! Kelvin will try again if we don't get his body out of here!" They nodded. Jin threw the limp body over his shoulder, and they ran. Kelvin chuckled. "Oh well" He said. "They'll be back. But next time, pegasus won't interfere!" He walked back to what was left of the base he nearly destroyed.
In the distance, the moon went in front of the sun, as commanded by Kelvin. The eternal eclipse has begun he thought. And soon the Black Sun will rule! He laughed. "AND THE WORLD!!!! IS ALMOST MINE!!!!!!!!"
Well, that would end part two. The last and final installment, Part Three: The Blade Revolutions, will start soon. Be sure to stay tuned and find out: What will become of the team? Who is Pegasus? Can they save Dranzer and Ethan? Will the Black Sun triumph? And more! Comment and rate Por Favor!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - LordCepheusIII - Feb. 18, 2011
So is Draco excepted at all?
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 18, 2011
HOLY CARP!!!!!!!!!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - C-Dub - Feb. 18, 2011
so when does he fall off the cliff?oh yeah good chapter!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Ga' - Feb. 18, 2011
Wow, that was talented. Great job, that part was short, but definitely sweet. Amazing story.
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 18, 2011
Haha thanks guys! Part 3: The Blade Revolutions will be up soon.
(Feb. 18, 2011 12:19 AM)darkangelkaieru Wrote: HOLY CARP!!!!!!!!!LOL
(Feb. 18, 2011 1:03 AM)C-Dub Wrote: so when does he fall off the cliff?oh yeah good chapter!He doesn't....that was to see if people liked my style of writing. Besides Ethan is dead.
(Feb. 18, 2011 1:36 AM)GaHooleone Wrote: Wow, that was talented. Great job, that part was short, but definitely sweet. Amazing story.
Thank you!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 18, 2011
what ethans dead noooooooooooo
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - C-Dub - Feb. 18, 2011
that sucks...x2!well, it's still a good story!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 18, 2011
Yaahhh!!! Look here!
(Feb. 17, 2011 11:55 PM)Sparta Wrote: Alright! Part 2: Goodbye Dranzer
Zeo Cristian and Jin all ran towards Ethan. He wasn't moving. His body destroyed and battered. His clothes were in rags, but that was the least of their worries. Zeo pressed against his chest, waited, then sat up, tears streaming down his chest. Ethan was not breathing.
He wasn't breathing!!!! So yah he's dead!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 18, 2011
oh well i just thought that there was a slim chance that he was alive
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 18, 2011
DW stuff will happen in part 3.....but good or bad stuff??? You will find out! And also in case I made this unclear as well, Dranzer is gone too.
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 18, 2011
aw i CANT wait
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - LordCepheusIII - Feb. 18, 2011
Does that make pegasus the main character?
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Janstarblast - Feb. 18, 2011
awesome!!!! Finally, I managed to stop myself from reading your Season 2- Black Sun!! And almost after a month, I am back!!!You see, I read the whole season 2 at once, and therefore there was not much anticipation abt next chapter...... Though am waiting for season 3 now.... Your stories are greatly descriptive!!! I am now trying to make my own story, The awesome blader from India. I am trying to keep it as descriptive and interesting as yours, lets see what is the response from other WBO members......
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 18, 2011
I'll check it out for you. Thanks for the complement.
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 19, 2011
Ok guys! Are you ready for the final installment of the tale of Ethan Nightly, part 3: The Blade Revolutions???
Hope so! Heeeeeeeeeeeere you go!!!!
Chapter 1: A Storm Brews
*From Pegasus's POV*
The cavern of sacrifice. That was the only way to save Ethan. It was his only chance.
We had been on the road for weeks now. I still was amazed at how quickly Ethan's group excepted me and forgave me for being involved with The Black Sun. Which, mind you, had now become a reality. The eclipse loomed overhead like a pack of vultures, waiting for us to die. We were hungry and tired, but we couldn't be seen in public, or else we would be caught. Ever since Kelvin defeated Ethan, The Black Sun had been on the move. They had stolen the souls of almost everyone in the world. Only a little few remained. And those who did had agreed to join them, else they would be killed. These new recruits were stationed everywhere to find and capture any rebel found. So we had to stay hidden. We were currently taking shelter in an old, abandoned gas station somewhere in Arizona, back in the US of A. The tall, loner one called Jin had gone down to the basement to raid the food supply, and we waited upstairs and talked quietly, about things we missed, cherish ones who had been lost, and other grim things. The shorter one with the hoodie, Christian, brought up Ethan. After a long pause I broke the silence, cleverly avoiding what Christian mentioned. One of my awesome skills. "Do you guys remember weekends?" I asked. They nodded, dreamily remembering the thought. "Sleeping in late, eating good, greasy foods, and watching sports on TV." We all clung to the thought, like bees to honey. Slowly, the warm memory slipped away as Jin came back upstairs. All he had was a bunch of old, musty, dried up bananas and 2 or 3 stale chocolate bars. How did we react? Like hungry wolves to a flock of sheep. We tore through it, eating as much as we could. These days our little gang was always hungry. We rarely got any food at all. But today was a lucky break, and we savored every stale and moldy taste that we experienced. When the food had been completely drained, we all sat back, wishing now for a cold glass of iced water and AC. For a while no one talked. A tumbleweed rolled past outside. Zeo shifted his position. Christian wiped his nose. Jin coughed. Ok, I thought. It was time to lift their spirit's. I hoped. "Hey, guys" I said. They all looked up at me. "I haven't told you yet, but we came to Arizona for a reason." They seemed interested. Cristian's eyes lit up. "Not to far from this gas station is a cave, called the cavern of sacrifice. A passage in an ancient language states that those sacrificed in battle may be reborn in their healing waters. Since Ethan was sacrificing himself for our world, I believe there is a small chance that...." I trailed of, because already the gang had begun to pack their things. Zeo looked up at me. "One question before we go" He said. The rest of the team stood up. "Yah," Cristian agreed. Jin nodded. Zeo's expression hardened. "Who are you exactly?" I sighed. "If you really want to know, but I fear it will only confuse you further." The all nodded. "It doesn't matter" Said Jin. "We want to know!" I looked down. "Ok, f you insist. I....." I looked up at them. "Am Ethan Nightly."
They all gasped. "No!" Zeo shouted. "That's not possible!" I hardened my expression. "But I am. I am from a future where The Black Sun really takes over the world, and Kelvin morphs it into a dark and desolate wasteland. And I lose Dranzer. In a battle against him, I lose." I sat down. "After I lost, I found a bey, my pegasus, and used its' incredible powers to blast myself back in time. In order to prevent that from happening." I stood up. "And that's why I joined them. I needed to get insider information, and I learned Kelvin is vulnerable when he is stealing the soul." I picked up my sack and looked around at them. "Well, are we all ready to go?" They nodded, still pondering what I had said. I smiled. "Let's go save me."
When we arrived at the cavern, the water fountain was as beautiful as always, glistening like a light, the water crystal clear. The base a smooth and cleansed rocky base. I walked up to the water, and spoke "Ethan Nightly has sacrificed himself for the world." I knelt. "Please accept my poor offering and bring him down from the heavens." For a while nothing happened. We all held our breath. No one spoke. Then the water began to gurgle, like mouthwash. We all ran towards the water, and suddenly, materializing over the water, hovering like an angel, was Ethan. He was different though. His scarf was now white, and his hair was a much lighter blond. His jeans were more of a lighter blue, and in his hand was a Dranzer face-bolt. "Ethan!" Cristian gasped. We all ran up to him. As the materialization finished, he blinked his blue eyes. "What.." He asked, disoriented. "What happened?" He looked at us. "G-gu-guys?" He managed.
Well? I think you guys know the drill by now. So do it!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - C-Dub - Feb. 19, 2011
wow that was quiete the story mystery,depression,awesomeness!!You've got everything!(EXEPT romance)
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 19, 2011
(Feb. 19, 2011 6:20 PM)C-Dub Wrote: wow that was quiete the story mystery,depression,awesomeness!!You've got everything!(EXEPT romance)
Lol. I was thinking I might add romance.......
EDIT: Speaking of romance, check your story! I posted everything you need! Plz write the next chapteer
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - ('.') - Feb. 19, 2011
my mind just went poof. totally awesome ! oz my god that is good writing !! so Pegasus is Ethan in future form ?
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 19, 2011
(Feb. 19, 2011 6:59 PM)death unicorn Wrote: my mind just went poof. totally awesome ! oz my god that is good writing !! so Pegasus is Ethan in future form ?
From a future where they loose indefinitely to Kelvin and he turns the world into a nothingness wasteland. Yah.
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 19, 2011
YOU BLEW MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 19, 2011
(Feb. 19, 2011 7:16 PM)darkangelkaieru Wrote: YOU BLEW MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ROTFL.
Told you Ethan did not just come back to life! He was reborn, as a new Ethan!
However, Dranzer is still gone....
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Light Yagami - Feb. 19, 2011
yes i know but still YOU BLEW MY MIND!!!!!!!!!thanks alot.now i have to clean it up.and find a way to put back in my mind.i mean its everywhere splattered across the walls.
RE: A Brave New World (Beyblade Story) - Sparta - Feb. 20, 2011
LOL.
next chapter very soon.