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Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 5 is up! Review Please! - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 5 is up! Review Please! (/Thread-Bey-Series-The-Four-Pillars-Chapter-5-is-up-Review-Please)

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RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - Ryukiba - Sep. 21, 2013

(Sep. 21, 2013  12:38 PM)jacolal Wrote: Haha, I was hoping that, considering she's your character, I was a bit nervous to take that risk. I may post chapter 4 tomorrow.

Yeah! It's so much better than them being a couple!XD can't wait for the next chapter!!Grin


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 21, 2013

Yeah... there'll be plenty of surprises in that chapter.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - Ryukiba - Sep. 21, 2013

(Sep. 21, 2013  1:04 PM)jacolal Wrote: Yeah... there'll be plenty of surprises in that chapter.

Great!Grin can't wait!Wink


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 21, 2013

Okay... I will not be taking any more characters till chapter 6. Sorry glaxy blade. I will not be able to use yours. Sorablader took the last spot.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - Kaneki - Sep. 21, 2013

It's ok, the story is really great!


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 21, 2013

Thanks a lot galaxy blade!


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 23, 2013

I am temporarily putting this story to a halt because I am going tob start writing a non beybladesorry guys... story.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Sep. 27, 2013

Wow This is a bit strange because Ace and Ryu where XD like dating but now brother and sister I'm just A bit disturbed


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 27, 2013

(Sep. 27, 2013  9:32 PM)XKai_DranzerX Wrote: Wow This is a bit strange because Ace and Ryu where XD like dating but now brother and sister I'm just A bit disturbed

Well... that's just how it is... Pinching_eyes_2



RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Sep. 27, 2013

Xd really ooh my goodness XD


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 27, 2013

Please don't spam the thread with like one word as this really isn't gonna be updated for months. And yeah, I had to...


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - Ryukiba - Sep. 27, 2013

So your not going to post any more chapters for awhile?Uncertain


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 01, 2013

I'm actually going to make one chapter for a story every week, at least I hope so. So on friday, maybe saturday, I'll post chapter 4 for this, then the week after, I'll post chapter 2 for Lambent Scale.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 26, 2013

Okay... Chapter four is up. Extremely short, but I'll make the next one long. I promise. Please comment on hoe this is, would love to see if people are still reading this.

EDIT: dragon KING: So I just checked, and on the poll, you've voted my story as bad. Could you please tell me why, so that I can improve on this.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! - Ryukiba - Oct. 27, 2013

Cool 4th chapter!Smile looking forward to chapter 5!Grin


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 3 is up! - DRAGON KING - Oct. 27, 2013

(Oct. 26, 2013  9:08 PM)jacolal Wrote: Okay... Chapter four is up. Extremely short, but I'll make the next one long. I promise. Please comment on hoe this is, would love to see if people are still reading this.

EDIT: dragon KING: So I just checked, and on the poll, you've voted my story as bad. Could you please tell me why, so that I can improve on this.

U told me PM u, do u want me to post it to?


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Oct. 27, 2013

Awesome 4 chapter I missed your writing


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 27, 2013

Wow! I can't believe that people still read this. . And enjoy it! Chapter 5 should be up later today... I will edit thos post. .. so stay turned!

Sent from phone zo please excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes.


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! - DefStamina88 - Oct. 27, 2013

I'm really liking the Four Pillars so far. Content, length, and spacing are great, but a thing on Chapter 4...

You split the dialogue with a line, which is common for most story writers, but to me, the second line splitting the dialogue seems like it would make somebody reading this for the first time a little lost. I can detect that it means that you separated two different situations, but some others may not catch that.

What I would do, is continue it without a splitting line, and add to the beginning, "Meanwhile..." or something along the lines of that, so it can make it a bit more obvious that it is two different situations.

For example:

Quote:"I wonder who that was..." wondered the boy.

Meanwhile, Jack was running to meet up with Ace and Ryu.

It's a bit more difficult to organize it that way, but it's a bit easier to follow...

However, it's a great story. Keep it up!


RE: Beyblade Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 27, 2013

No new chapter sorry. Thanks for that defy, I will work on it for the next chapter, promise. I have, however, updated chapter 4 a bit, along with the title. Please do read, and if someone has the time, review my story/stories/a chapter. Thanks in advance.


RE: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! Review Please! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 28, 2013

Well... I was tired, so I was only able to post part of chapter 5. I will update within 8 hours. Sorry guys.


RE: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! Review Please! - Ryukiba - Oct. 28, 2013

Awesome chapter so far!Smile you should've had Ace battle Kai!XD anyway looking forest to more!!Smile


RE: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 4 is up! Review Please! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 28, 2013

(Oct. 28, 2013  1:15 PM)ryukiba Wrote: Awesome chapter so far!Smile you should've had Ace battle Kai!XD anyway looking forest to more!!Smile
Haha. Thanks! I will post chapter 5 soon. My half-term holidays have started, so I'm at home for the whole of this week now.


RE: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 5 is up! Review Please! - ★WindStarElite★ - Oct. 28, 2013

LOL I'm jealous of Ryukiba She got to battle Kai Lol XD


RE: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 5 is up! Review Please! - LimiTTrickster - Oct. 29, 2013

So... I've updated chapter 5 a bit more. Sorry, I've been really busy, which is why I haven't been able to do much.