+- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org)
+-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums)
+--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations)
+--- Thread: Fan Fiction Beyblade Sun and Moon (/Thread-Fan-Fiction-Beyblade-Sun-and-Moon)
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - MidnightSky231 - Jan. 10, 2020
why couldn't you take my word for it.
(-.-)
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Jan. 22, 2020
(Content deleted)
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - #Fafnir - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 3:44 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Since this is disconntinued, before I request this thread to be closed, I summon the story critic. Also, here were some planned beys and key for current names before the critic arrives,
Name key
Dread Pheonix (aka Dead pheonix)
Glyph (Gran)
Lord Spryzen (Axe Spryzen)
Sword Valtryek (Slash valtryek)
Zone Luinor (Slash/Sword Luinor)
Beys planned before discontinuation (aka plenty of months ago) (in the order of appearance)
Union Achillies
Imperial Dragon
Perfect Pheonix
Wizard Fafnir
Master Devolos
And lastly,
Zone Luinor (bey made of full metal)
After the story critic reviews this, close this, thank you.
If your talking about Dt20000, he left the WBO.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 3:47 AM)#Fafnir Wrote:(Jan. 22, 2020 3:44 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Since this is disconntinued, before I request this thread to be closed, I summon the story critic. Also, here were some planned beys and key for current names before the critic arrives,
Name key
Dread Pheonix (aka Dead pheonix)
Glyph (Gran)
Lord Spryzen (Axe Spryzen)
Sword Valtryek (Slash valtryek)
Zone Luinor (Slash/Sword Luinor)
Beys planned before discontinuation (aka plenty of months ago) (in the order of appearance)
Union Achillies
Imperial Dragon
Perfect Pheonix
Wizard Fafnir
Master Devolos
And lastly,
Zone Luinor (bey made of full metal)
After the story critic reviews this, close this, thank you.
If your talking about Dt20000, he left the WBO.
Oh,
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - #Fafnir - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 3:47 AM)lilphilyb Wrote:(Jan. 22, 2020 3:47 AM)#Fafnir Wrote: If your talking about Dt20000, he left the WBO.
Oh,
You might want to add a few more words to that post, as you aren't supposed to make a one word post.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 3:50 AM)#Fafnir Wrote:(Jan. 22, 2020 3:47 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Oh,
You might want to add a few more words to that post, as you aren't supposed to make a one word post.
My bad dude.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - #Fafnir - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 3:52 AM)lilphilyb Wrote:(Jan. 22, 2020 3:50 AM)#Fafnir Wrote: You might want to add a few more words to that post, as you aren't supposed to make a one word post.
My bad dude.
I'm not mad or anything, I'm just trying to help you out.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Jan. 22, 2020
(Content deleted)
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - #Fafnir - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 4:02 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Here were the planned events for ark 3
UA vs A, R, and GD (Achillies Breaks Dragon)
WF vs UA (0-3)
pP vs. UA (1-3)
Imperial Dragon is made
UA vs. SV (3-1)
LS vs. UA (2-3 with 3 ties)
Imperial Dragon Crash is made and perfected
ZL vs UA (10-9 with 139 ties)
Luinor gets cracked
MD vs ID (3-5)
ZL vs ID (Luinor breaks)
27 years pass
ZL (Full Metal) vs. ID (4-0)
The end.
Wait a Minute, Idea! Instead of disconntinuing the story, #Fafnir, will you finish ark 3?
I would like to, but I have a lot of school stuff going on.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Jan. 22, 2020
(Jan. 22, 2020 4:29 AM)#Fafnir Wrote:(Jan. 22, 2020 4:02 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Here were the planned events for ark 3
UA vs A, R, and GD (Achillies Breaks Dragon)
WF vs UA (0-3)
pP vs. UA (1-3)
Imperial Dragon is made
UA vs. SV (3-1)
LS vs. UA (2-3 with 3 ties)
Imperial Dragon Crash is made and perfected
ZL vs UA (10-9 with 139 ties)
Luinor gets cracked
MD vs ID (3-5)
ZL vs ID (Luinor breaks)
27 years pass
ZL (Full Metal) vs. ID (4-0)
The end.
Wait a Minute, Idea! Instead of disconntinuing the story, #Fafnir, will you finish ark 3?
I would like to, but I have a lot of school stuff going on.
School does matter more, I was messing around anyway.
RE: Beyblade Sun and Moon - lilphilyb - Feb. 02, 2020
Since I took the place of new Story critic, I decided to grade my own story. Don't worry, it won't be Biased.
Character Development: C-
Diologue: B-
Grammar: A-
Exciting moments: B-
Chapter Length: C+
Story Juiciness: B
Opinion: I made an ok-ish fan fict, crossing over 2 famous shows. There was little character development, a little diologue, the grammar was great though, few exciting moments, some very short chapters, and medeocre Juiciness. So, I give this a 42/100.
Overall score: 42