Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [100% Completed. Just needs Approval] - Printable Version +- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org) +-- Forum: Beyblade Discussion (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Beyblade-Discussion) +--- Forum: Beyblade Wiki (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Beyblade-Wiki) +--- Thread: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [100% Completed. Just needs Approval] (/Thread-Poison-Serpent-SW145SD-Article-Rough-Draft-100-Completed-Just-needs-Approval) |
RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - BeyPhilosopher - Feb. 15, 2011 What you need to do is reword the Poison section. It mentions Dark too much. Actually explain more about it's performance, why it has bad defense, why it has recoil, why it has bad stamina etc. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Ultra - Feb. 15, 2011 He already mentioned it. It loses enormous amount of spin when hit due to it's bad recoil and design. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - BeyPhilosopher - Feb. 15, 2011 Well is it the multple protrusions that causes the recoil? the multiple contct points? the very thin design? Explain. Also, the wording isn't good enough. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Ultra - Feb. 15, 2011 Does it really matter that much? Do we really need to go into detail on why one of the worst wheel is that bad RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Wizard - Feb. 16, 2011 (Feb. 15, 2011 11:59 PM)Ultrablader Wrote: Does it really matter that much? Do we really need to go into detail on why one of the worst wheel is that badObviously not... @Sequoia - The wording is fine. I have read Articles that have been approved and gotten confused by the way they were worded. I had to read a sentence like twice to understand it. While, in my Article Rough Draft, It's pretty self explanatory. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Kai-V - Feb. 26, 2011 I finally had time to do some tests with SW145. From what I have observed, the reasons it does so poor is because the wings are very thin, compared to GB145 for instance, and there is a considerable gap between them and the Metal Wheel (I used Earth). As soon as I took off the wings part from the core of the Track for the first time, the wings started to 'rattle' on the Track, which might also ruin some of its Defense. Moreover, the shape is just "random" : it seems that circular shapes work much better. To me the following should not be mentioned : Quote:Although, if Takara Tomy made it so the Wings could rotate, it would solve it's it's massive Stamina problem.It does not even seem like it would really be remarkably better. It would still be a bad Track in my opinion, just because of its shape. There are some grammatical mistakes too. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Shabalabadoo - Feb. 26, 2011 To me, it seems like the wings are not what makes it 4.2 grams. I think the core is quite a bit heavier than the wings. Like you said, they're very thin. Most of the weight is in the centre of the beyblade. And, switching from defense to attack mode seems to do absolutely nothing. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Wizard - Feb. 26, 2011 Bump Thank you Kai-V for the testing on SW145. It is greatly appreciated. I apologize if I was becoming an annoyance to you. I will go through the article and try to find some Grammatical Errors that I can fix. (Kai-V mentioned that there were some...) But, I'm obviously not a Grammatical Superior type dude. I might make some of it worse. (Don't want that to happen) So I won't get to heavily involved in fixing them. But, if anybody is willing to fix those Grammatical errors, it would be greatly appreciated. (Please) (I beg you) RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Shabalabadoo - Feb. 26, 2011 (Dec. 18, 2010 2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Clear Wheel: Serpentjust reworded it -------------------------- (Dec. 18, 2010 2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Metal Wheel: PoisonReworded this: SSJfisherman Wrote:Poison was first released with Poison Serpent SW145SD. Each spike curves in a Counter Clock-Wise direction, and produce a significant amount of recoil. Unlike traditional signs of recoil, Poison loses an extensive amount of Stamina from being hit, similar to the Dark Metal Wheel. Poison is relatively thin throughout, due to a raised perimeter, similar to the Flame Metal Wheel. Poison suffers from many flaws and performs badly in all aspects of Beyblade.------------------------------ (Dec. 18, 2010 2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Track: Switch 145reworded parts in here --------------------------------- (Dec. 18, 2010 2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote: Bottom: Semi-Defensethis whole section needs to be updated(I realize that you copied it from dark bull): SSJfisherman Wrote:SD is of the "Defense" series of bottoms. It is the smallest of SD, D, and WD, and has exceptional stamina properties. Although the name suggests it is a Defense bottom, it is oriented from the "Sharp" series bottoms, and the little contact it has with the stadium is only useful for Stamina. ----------------- Bam. I think I cleaned it up quite a bit Some of my parts may have some slight punctuation Mistakes; I'm on an IPad. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Wizard - Feb. 26, 2011 (Feb. 26, 2011 9:49 PM)SSJfisherman Wrote: Bam.Your amazing man! You have helped me a lot with this article. I really appreciate that! It's really great to know who your friends are. Bump RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [LET'S FINISH THIS!!] [ALMOST COMPLETE!!] - Shabalabadoo - Feb. 26, 2011 Glad I could help RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 03, 2011 This thread is still waiting to be approved. I have received no information at all whatsoever about if it will be approved or not. But, I guess the Committee Members will get around to reading the article when they can. I'm just reminding that I am still waiting for approval. Also, here is the reason why I'm even posting in this thread right now. ---> I'm jsut reminding you all. Even though this article is waiting for approval, feel free to tell me about any mistakes, miss-spellings, Grammatical Errors, Etc. that you see. It would be helpful and hopefully help get the article done faster. So, feel free to let me know. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Nocto - Mar. 03, 2011 Quote:Poison was first released with Poison Serpent SW145SD (Most Articles don't mention it). Fifteen spikes circle/surround the Poison metal wheel. Each spike/of them curves in a Counter Clock-Wise direction, and produces a significant amount of recoil. Unlike traditional(Traditional just doesn't fit here, use usual/general, if nobody can find a better synonym) signs of recoil, Poison loses an extensive amount of Stamina from being hit, similar to the Dark Metal Wheel. Poison is relatively thin throughout, due to a raised perimeter, similar to the Flame Metal Wheel. Poison suffers from many flaws and performs badly in all aspects of Beyblade. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Shabalabadoo - Mar. 03, 2011 Oops, ahah, looks like I missed the 15 spikes part when I reworded it! Edit: actually, I like how bey-heart had the fifteen spikes part, before I edited it. I like it better than the way you wrote. It also goes with the first sentence he had. I think the first sentence if actually fine, it kinda gives it better flow IMO. I like "usual" better than traditional RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Aquilaz112 - Mar. 05, 2011 Nobody noticed this but you din't say about Medusa being one of the 88 constellation in the face part RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Ultra - Mar. 05, 2011 Even though it may look like medusa it's still the serpent constellation. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 05, 2011 (Mar. 05, 2011 10:40 AM)Aquilaz112 Wrote: Nobody noticed this but you din't say about Medusa being one of the 88 constellation in the face partHere's the thing: It's not Medusa. It's Serpens. Take a look at the Face... ------------------------------------- Bump Thanks Nocto. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Aquilaz112 - Mar. 06, 2011 You didn't even mention the face. You started with the clear wheel RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 06, 2011 (Mar. 06, 2011 4:31 PM)Aquilaz112 Wrote: You didn't even mention the face.Bump I had it on there... I must have deleted it by mistake when I was putting in Nocto's update. Thanks for the heads up! RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - BeyPhilosopher - Mar. 06, 2011 This is done in my opinion. Just be patient for it to be approved. Also, I love how you are keep on putting "bump" in most of your post in bold letters, heh. RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 06, 2011 (Mar. 06, 2011 9:37 PM)Sequoia Wrote: This is done in my opinion. Just be patient for it to be approved. Also, I love how you are keep on putting "bump" in most of your post in bold letters, heh.Yeah it's getting kinda tedious to keep typing that... I was pretty much thinking the same thing. Now I just gotta wait for approval to put it in BeyWiki... RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Nocto - Mar. 06, 2011 Last thing (you doubled the CW section and forgot to make the Face section) Quote:Clear Wheel: Serpent RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 06, 2011 Bump I think it's done now... RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - HorogiumX - Mar. 06, 2011 (Dec. 18, 2010 2:59 AM)Bey-Heart Wrote:I edited a few things.Quote:Face: Serpent RE: Poison Serpent SW145SD Article Rough Draft [WAITING TO BE APPROVED!!] - Wizard - Mar. 07, 2011 (Mar. 06, 2011 11:30 PM)L-Drago rules Wrote: I edited a few things.Where did you get "Eighteen Spikes" from? The Poison Metal Wheel only has fifteen spikes. Are you blind? |