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+---- Thread: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt (/Thread-Ray-Unicorno-D125CS-Article-Attempt)
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Auska - Jan. 27, 2011
(Jul. 07, 2010 3:45 AM)ShadowPegasis Wrote: ...
Metal Wheel: Ray
Ray consists of three separated protrusions for providing Smash Attack. Ray has slight gaps between the protrusions on the outer part of the wheel for Smash Attack.
....
Isn't this basically the same thing? or form this into one complete thought in a sentance
"Ray consists of three separated protrusions; the slight gaps between the protrusions on the outer part of the wheel provide it with Smash Attack."
or something like that. just doesn't sound quite right side by side
other than that i really like this!
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 27, 2011
(Jan. 27, 2011 10:16 PM)Ultrablader Wrote: To you have both mold though? If so then it should be said that the performance difference is like nothing.
It probably isn't necessary if the difference is nothing.
(Jan. 27, 2011 10:34 PM)Auska Wrote:(Jul. 07, 2010 3:45 AM)ShadowPegasis Wrote: ...
Metal Wheel: Ray
Ray consists of three separated protrusions for providing Smash Attack. Ray has slight gaps between the protrusions on the outer part of the wheel for Smash Attack.
....
Isn't this basically the same thing? or form this into one complete thought in a sentance
"Ray consists of three separated protrusions; the slight gaps between the protrusions on the outer part of the wheel provide it with Smash Attack."
or something like that. just doesn't sound quite right side by side
other than that i really like this!
Kk. I'll fix it. Just a moment please.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
I just finished making some minor edits to the article.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
I think you should start the beginning of CS like:
"CS, as the name implies, derives from it being a..."
That's my opinion, though.
Also,
(Jul. 07, 2010 3:45 AM)ShadowPegasis Wrote: Although, like RSF, it has been outclassed to the likes of RS.
I think you should change it to "by", as it doesn't sound right to me. But again, my opinion.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
Fixed. Anything else?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
Quote: Another thing adding to CS' cons, is that when Bladers use CS right out of the box, they struggle to use its aggressiveness.
Get rid of the first comma.
Quote: Reason being that the plastic segment extends too far from the rubber coat.
You need to add a "the" at the being or it ends up being a subordinate clause. (IIRC)
Quote:Because of this, it's suggested that owners of CS use practice battles to wear down the plastic segment of the tip before using it in any competitive situation.
Change "use" to "perform". Make sure to tell Bladers to launch straight when trying to make CS aggressive, to wear down the plastic, and if they want to make it more Defensive, use a banking/sliding shoot to wear down the rubber.
Italicize all the combos mentioned in the Use in Attack/Stamina/Defense sections.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
Fixed. Anything else?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
Get rid of the "Therefore" at the last sentence and bold it.
So basically:
Every Blader should at least own one of this Beyblade.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
Fixed. Anything else?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
Well, that's all I can think of.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ga' - Jan. 29, 2011
(Jul. 07, 2010 3:45 AM)ShadowPegasis Wrote: Although, like RSF, it has been outclassed by the likes of RS. Another thing adding to CS' cons is that when Bladers use CS right out of the box, they struggle to use its aggressiveness. Reason being the plastic segment extending too far from the rubber coat. Because of this, it's suggested that owners of CS perform practice battles to wear down the plastic segment of the tip by shooting at a straight angle before using it in any competitive situation. Alternatively if a Blader would like the bottom to be more defensive, they can shoot it while banking.
How about this:
However, CS, like RSF, has been outclassed by RS. One of the downsides of CS is that when bladers use the CS tip in mint condition, it is difficult to control because of it's aggressiveness. This is because the plastic sharp tip will extend too far from the rubber coat, and owners of a CS tip are recommended to have practice battles to wear down the plastic sharp tip. If a blader wants an offensive CS, they should shoot the beyblade with CS at a straight angle, but if they want a defensive tip, they should shoot the beyblade at an angle to the stadium. This should be done prior to any competitive situation.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
That seems pretty good, Ga! This article looks pretty good now.
(Off Topic) W00t! My thousandth post! Hopefully I can get that black face.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
Fixed. Thanks Ga. Anything else?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ga' - Jan. 29, 2011
I don't think the description of clear wheels in the other versions section is necessary. Oh, and I just noticed a mistake in my own draft. XD A small punctuation mistake:
GaHooleone Wrote:It is difficult to control because of it's aggressiveness.
should be its. But I don't see anything else wrong with this. Good effort!
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 29, 2011
(Jan. 29, 2011 10:59 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: I don't think the description of clear wheels in the other versions section is necessary.
I think it is, as I see it on articles that are already on Beywiki.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 29, 2011
I think it's worth mentioning the BB-92 Clear Ver. of Unicorno.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 30, 2011
The booster's CW is clear? Well, alright. I'm trusting that this information is correct, hah.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ray Joker - Jan. 30, 2011
The Booster's Track and Bottom, are also clear, iirc.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 30, 2011
Fixed. Anything else?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Dan - Jan. 30, 2011
Too lazy to quote:
'A)One of the downsides of CS is that when bladers use the CS tip in mint condition, it is difficult to control because of it's aggressiveness. B) This is because the plastic sharp tip will extend too far from the rubber coat, and owners of a CS tip are recommended to have practice battles to wear down the plastic sharp tip. If a blader wants an offensive CS, they should shoot the beyblade with CS at a straight angle, but if they want a defensive tip, they should shoot the beyblade at an angle to the stadium. '
A) I speak for TT booster when I say that there is absolutely no aggressiveness when it is mint. In fact, I think it is best defensively when mint.. :U
B) So you're saying it is aggressive because the Sharp part extends too far.. meaning less contact with rubber supporting my A)..
It sort of seems like your skipping into many different states of CS too quickly and not chronologically.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 30, 2011
I think Ga'Hooleone meant to say "because it's not agressive". Okay, I'll fixe it. Uno momento.
Fixed. Except the thing where you said it's not in chronological order. It seems pretty chronological to me
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Ga' - Jan. 30, 2011
Oh. Whoops. No wonder I thought it was odd I made that mistake. I never really confuse its with it's. So yeah, it would be because it's not aggressive.
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Dan - Jan. 30, 2011
Ah, its fine chronologically..
It just looked really wonky. Good enough, I suppose?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - ShadowPegasis - Jan. 30, 2011
Thanks for the positive feedback. Any more edits need to be made?
RE: Ray Unicorno D125CS Article Attempt - Dan - Jan. 30, 2011
Yeah, nothing wrong from what I can see.
Though mention that Unicorno CW is probably the best attack CW. (Excluding specialized ones.)