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+--- Thread: Bey Series - The Four Pillars, Chapter 5 is up! Review Please! (/Thread-Bey-Series-The-Four-Pillars-Chapter-5-is-up-Review-Please)
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge (accepting character requests) - ★WindStarElite★ - Aug. 26, 2013
You should drag the battle into Chapter 5 for suspense. And chapter 4 should be called Ambush or something close to that.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge (accepting character requests) - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 26, 2013
Chapter 4 will be the tag battle. Not giving any more spoilers ;-)
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge (accepting character requests) - ★WindStarElite★ - Aug. 26, 2013
Lol ok nite.great spolier so far.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge (accepting character requests) - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 26, 2013
I have added chapter 4, I hope you guys like it. Please give feedback to help me improve my writing... I want to make it as good as I can.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge Chapter 4 is up! - Ryukiba - Aug. 27, 2013
I love the story so far, read chapter 4! Pretty cool!!
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge Chapter 4 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 28, 2013
Okay guys, I have added chapter 5. Please let me know what you think of it. And major credit goes to Xkai_DranzerX, ryukiba, B-DABLADER. These people helped me in making the characters. And a special thanks to Xkai_DranzerX for giving the story of chapter 3 and chapter 4. I appreciate the help.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - Rnold201 - Aug. 28, 2013
I like it, and I'm excited about the next series that you've put. Can't wait for chapter 6.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 28, 2013
Thanks, and just so people know, I made this chapter short because there are going to be two very big battles in the next chapter.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - Rnold201 - Aug. 29, 2013
Okay, also I have a character request -
Name: Giri Jane
Age: 14
Appearance: He has black hair, green eyes, and pale skin. He wears a blue shirt, normally, blue jeans as well, and black shoes.
Beyblade: Dark Riptide MS
Parts:
Attack Ring: Shared metal frame with advance averazer
Weight Disk: Extreme defense (17g)
Running Core: Metal Change Core
Special Moves:
Ghost Tsunami
Dark Aqua Dome
Death Striking Shield
Ghost Tsunami: Dark Riptide starts to move around really quickly, and then summons a tsunami to ride on and attack the beyblades.
Dark Aqua Dome: They beyblade starts to create a dome of water to block any attack. But it is covered in darkness, so the bey that hits aqua dome SHOULD, lose half of its speed.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 29, 2013
Okay, I will put him in chapter 7 - 9. Also, please tell me what death striking shield is.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - Rnold201 - Aug. 29, 2013
I was going to leave that to you. Also, I changed my character a bit.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 29, 2013
Yeah, I got your pm. But... I will not use him in this story but another one I'm making after this one. I hope this is OK with you.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - DefStamina88 - Aug. 29, 2013
This is pretty good, but I think you need to space out your dialogue and paragraphs. It makes it easier to read and lengthens the chapter.
Looks cool though!
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 29, 2013
Thanks for the help, I'll make sure to do that in my next 5 chapters... *spoiler*.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - Rnold201 - Aug. 29, 2013
Thanks for the spoiler... and when exactly will we get to see chapter 6. I want to see Ryu battle Jake(she's my favourite character!"
EDIT: I just saw you've already posted chapter six. SOS
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 5 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 29, 2013
Oh yeah, I should've posted that... I've posted chapter six, please tell me how it is.
Sorry guys I just realised that I forgot to write the second battle. I'll start on it right now.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 6 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - ★WindStarElite★ - Aug. 30, 2013
Great it was a quick battle the bey evolution made it better but when you said cried as eyu said you should of put Scream or something like she let out a tremendous scream vocabulary use. So interesting ,complicated words and Can't wait for my battle.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 6 is up! NEED CHARACTERS - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 30, 2013
Okay,I've posted chapter 7.Chapter 8 won't have mcuh detail, but expect exciting stuff in nine and the final chapter, 10.Do you think I should continue the series, and make a new story, the fall after this.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Aug. 30, 2013
WHats my new Bey name can it be Ninja Phoenix MS and can the gears be like ninja stars on my attack wheel.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Aug. 30, 2013
The gears are for spin steel,and yes, it is now ninja pheonix, and I've come up with a special move, ehich will be used in the tournament. Goodnight, going to sleep.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Aug. 30, 2013
Ok awesome ttyl
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 01, 2013
Should I continue this story as q series or not? I would like that.people tell me as soon as possible.
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - Ryukiba - Sep. 01, 2013
(Sep. 01, 2013 2:09 PM)jacolal Wrote: Should I continue this story as q series or not? I would like that.people tell me as soon as possible.
Yeah
it's pretty good so far. Why would you want to stop?
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - ★WindStarElite★ - Sep. 01, 2013
Don't just abandon the damn story it awesome don't care what people say do what your hand and heart says to write or not to write. You have a wonderful passion. For this writing
RE: (Beyblade Story) The Edge, Chapter 7 is up! - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 01, 2013
I will finish this story and then will write the next one. Thank you xkaidranzerx and ryukiba, you have been great friends and wonderful supporters to me.