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+--- Thread: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? (/Thread-W-B-B-A-A-The-Lost-Files-of-Agent-Otori-My-Last-Story-Here)
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 12, 2011
(Jun. 11, 2011 12:45 AM)SDamonCronous Wrote: Great story, like all the others I have read by you. I like how you describe the surroundings as well (that is something that many stories here fail to do well). I feel proud to have made you that sig, and if you ever want a knew one come back. Sad to see you may now write any new stories, they are all fantastic...Haha, ok thank you
.(Jun. 11, 2011 7:05 AM)xlr8 Wrote: dude i m sad because it's ur last but i like this story and loved ur stories too hope u change ur mind soonYeah, sorry about that guys. It's not like I'm going to stop updating my current stories on here, but I need a break for a while to rest and take it easy-and that means no new stories for at least a year or so
. I apologize if I'm letting you all down...
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Light Yagami - Jun. 12, 2011
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
a whole year before you write another story
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 12, 2011
I posted some of the next chapter to hold you guys off for now. Read and review, if it pleases you.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Light Yagami - Jun. 12, 2011
good chapter but you might what to describe the new chacter that has appeaared. like what he looks like and the same for the 2 chacter in chapter 1
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 12, 2011
Ok, finished the first chapter. Critique tastes good, and I'm really hungry, so please review!
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - sonicsora123 - Jun. 12, 2011
Okay. I have a lot of things to say:
1. Thank you for all your great stories on the WBO. I think you've honored every reader on this site. It is a pleasure reading your stories. Thanks a lot.
2. I love how you describe. It's so vivid. Almost perfect word choice. You have the force, my son.
3. Writing from a point of view you've never done before. It's...... well...... good
4. I'm not happy or sad. Well I'm both. Disappointing that you're leaving but great you are going off to a better place. Good luck in the real world as a professional. You'll go far.
EDIT: Read my BeyStory. I need tips on description
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 12, 2011
(Jun. 12, 2011 7:15 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote: Okay. I have a lot of things to say:
1. Thank you for all your great stories on the WBO. I think you've honored every reader on this site. It is a pleasure reading your stories. Thanks a lot.
2. I love how you describe. It's so vivid. Almost perfect word choice. You have the force, my son.
3. Writing from a point of view you've never done before. It's...... well...... good
4. I'm not happy or sad. Well I'm both. Disappointing that you're leaving but great you are going off to a better place. Good luck in the real world as a professional. You'll go far.
EDIT: Read my BeyStory. I need tips on description
Haha, ok. I'll check it out, and thanks for the advice.
Any errors? Something I should fix?
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Ga' - Jun. 12, 2011
There were my edits!..... Er, yeah. The only one you used was the tuna-smelling one.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Light Yagami - Jun. 13, 2011
again like i said before describe what they look like but other then that its amazing
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 13, 2011
(Jun. 12, 2011 10:48 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: There were my edits!..... Er, yeah. The only one you used was the tuna-smelling one.
And the line spacing. I stopped being lazy
hooray for actually getting off my lazy bum and doing something with my life!
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 16, 2011
School ends tuesday (as in a week from today) and homework has calmed down, so once I finish my next few finals (I.E. Honors English 1, Honors World History, and Geometry) I can update. Hooray!
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - sonicsora123 - Jun. 18, 2011
(Jun. 12, 2011 10:45 PM)Sparta Wrote:(Jun. 12, 2011 7:15 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote: Okay. I have a lot of things to say:
1. Thank you for all your great stories on the WBO. I think you've honored every reader on this site. It is a pleasure reading your stories. Thanks a lot.
2. I love how you describe. It's so vivid. Almost perfect word choice. You have the force, my son.
3. Writing from a point of view you've never done before. It's...... well...... good
4. I'm not happy or sad. Well I'm both. Disappointing that you're leaving but great you are going off to a better place. Good luck in the real world as a professional. You'll go far.
EDIT: Read my BeyStory. I need tips on description
Haha, ok. I'll check it out, and thanks for the advice.
Any errors? Something I should fix?
ga'hooleone took all mine. XD but i think you need to add a few short scentences for effect
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 18, 2011
(Jun. 18, 2011 4:30 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:(Jun. 12, 2011 10:45 PM)Sparta Wrote:(Jun. 12, 2011 7:15 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote: Okay. I have a lot of things to say:
1. Thank you for all your great stories on the WBO. I think you've honored every reader on this site. It is a pleasure reading your stories. Thanks a lot.
2. I love how you describe. It's so vivid. Almost perfect word choice. You have the force, my son.
3. Writing from a point of view you've never done before. It's...... well...... good
4. I'm not happy or sad. Well I'm both. Disappointing that you're leaving but great you are going off to a better place. Good luck in the real world as a professional. You'll go far.
EDIT: Read my BeyStory. I need tips on description
Haha, ok. I'll check it out, and thanks for the advice.
Any errors? Something I should fix?
ga'hooleone took all mine. XD but i think you need to add a few short scentences* for effect
*Sentences
But yeah, ok. I see where you're coming from. I'll do that.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 22, 2011
Today is officially the first day of summer for me, and because of that I'm in a great mood! To kick my summer off write (get it?) I'm going to write the next chapter today!
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sin-hunter - Jun. 23, 2011
Hooray! I can't wait. I really liked the first chapter and I do hope Tsubasa finds his best friend.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - sum 472 - Jun. 23, 2011
Um just a question... Will Tsubasa take part in Beybattles with Earth Aquila or will it only be Tsubasa doing
agent activities??
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - sonicsora123 - Jun. 23, 2011
(Jun. 22, 2011 2:46 PM)Sparta Wrote: Today is officially the first day of summer for me, and because of that I'm in a great mood! To kick my summer off write (get it?) I'm going to write the next chapter today!
lucky you. up here summer is ages away
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 23, 2011
(Jun. 23, 2011 8:05 AM)Sin-hunter Wrote: Hooray! I can't wait. I really liked the first chapter and I do hope Tsubasa finds his best friend......I don't mean to burst your bubble, but Aquilla is dead....
(Jun. 23, 2011 8:27 AM)sum 472 Wrote: Um just a question... Will Tsubasa take part in Beybattles with Earth Aquila or will it only be Tsubasa doingBoth, at the same time. His missions will involve beybattles
agent activities??
(Jun. 23, 2011 1:56 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:(Jun. 22, 2011 2:46 PM)Sparta Wrote: Today is officially the first day of summer for me, and because of that I'm in a great mood! To kick my summer off write (get it?) I'm going to write the next chapter today!
lucky you. up here summer is ages away
are you in canada, with year round school or something?
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Ga' - Jun. 23, 2011
-Looks at first part of comment-
WHAT?!RXDCFTGVBHJNKLM
Guess that helps create his personality during MFB season 1, and those flashbacks during season 2, huh?
Oh boy, Sin-hunter (insert facebook-style tags here) will be crying in her room somewhere...
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sin-hunter - Jun. 24, 2011
(Jun. 23, 2011 6:48 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: -Looks at first part of comment-
WHAT?!RXDCFTGVBHJNKLM
Guess that helps create his personality during MFB season 1, and those flashbacks during season 2, huh?
Oh boy, Sin-hunter (insert facebook-style tags here) will be crying in his room somewhere...
You mean her room ^^"
(Jun. 23, 2011 4:26 PM)Sparta Wrote: .....I don't mean to burst your bubble, but Aquilla is dead....Awwww, poor Aquilla. Tsubasa is alone now with no best friend. I wonder what happened now I really can't wait for the next chapter.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 24, 2011
2nd chapter is up!
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 24, 2011
(Jun. 24, 2011 8:33 AM)Sin-hunter Wrote:(Jun. 23, 2011 6:48 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: -Looks at first part of comment-
WHAT?!RXDCFTGVBHJNKLM
Guess that helps create his personality during MFB season 1, and those flashbacks during season 2, huh?
Oh boy, Sin-hunter (insert facebook-style tags here) will be crying in his room somewhere...
You mean her room ^^"
(Jun. 23, 2011 4:26 PM)Sparta Wrote: .....I don't mean to burst your bubble, but Aquilla is dead....Awwww, poor Aquilla. Tsubasa is alone now with no best friend. I wonder what happened now I really can't wait for the next chapter.
Haha, sorry. There is good news, but it comes in file 3. For now, you'll just have to mourn...
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Manicben - Jun. 24, 2011
Erm, just one correction for the 2nd chapter...
All I noticed is that you wrote "nothing exited me"
while it should be "nothing excited me". Just a typo on your part I guess.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - the_Zephinator - Jun. 24, 2011
It's a brilliant story, it grabbed my attention straight away, 10/10. I can't wait for Part:3. Keep up the good work dude.
RE: W.B.B.A.A-The Lost Files of Agent Otori...My Last Story Here? - Sparta - Jun. 24, 2011
(Jun. 24, 2011 7:34 PM)Manicben Wrote: Erm, just one correction for the 2nd chapter...Fixed that and a few other things.
All I noticed is that you wrote "nothing exited me"
while it should be "nothing excited me". Just a typo on your part I guess.
(Jun. 24, 2011 7:44 PM)TheBestPegasus Wrote: It's a brilliant story, it grabbed my attention straight away, 10/10. I can't wait for Part:3. Keep up the good work dude.
Thank you
. Any suggestions?