Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - DynaZord - Jul. 10, 2011
In a WBO writing battle, participants will decide on a scene or event, and will have to write a short paragraph or 2 describing the specified scene or event.
The rules:
1. Each battle must have its' own thread, and participants cannot vote
2. battles will be won by the most amount of votes for an entry.
3. Each battle cannot involve more than 10 people, as more would get messy
4. Each battle must specify in the opening post what the challenge is, and the entries.
5. Voters will vote in the thread (duh)
6. Participants cannot post the entries
7. When the entries are posted, usernames will not be given. They will be labeled by the entry number.
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(Jul. 09, 2011 2:31 AM)Sparta Wrote: Alright, I know the tourney is in full swing, but I can't wait any longer. Since I won't compete in the tourney, I won't get to face Megablader! So here, we're battling, like it or not:
Topic: A boy having flash backs before he leaves-you decide where 
Specifications: No longer than 1 page on Microsoft word. Single spacing, size 12 font.
Due: July 15th Entries:
Entry 1
I stood at the end of my block, looking at the neighborhood I had called home for years. Could it be possible? Was it really over? Moving Day couldn’t have come this fast, it’s impossible. But I knew better. This was totally possible. Dan Grady Jr., son of Daniel Grady Sr., the quarterback of the Division 1 champion Utah Knights of the United States Gridiron League, had to leave. My father had demanded a free agent contract for money, of all things. “…†“Ugh, you’ve got ten minutes, then we’re getting out of here!†My father had already packed, as did I reluctantly. A figure stood behind a light post. She stepped out from behind the post, and walked closer.
“You’re leaving today?†I looked away. “Yeah…†Cynthia, one of my best friends, looked at the truck solemnly. “We had some good times, didn’t we?†“I want those times to come back. Why did it have to be today? Why do I have to leave in the first place? It’s not fair! I liked it in Utah! Hell, I don’t want to go to Cincinnati!†My father had signed with the Cincinnati Wolves, a Division 4 team that had deep pockets, but NO talent. Whatsoever. Of course, when my dad saw the eight 0s, his eyes bulged. “We’re moving! I accept the deal!†I tried to plead, explained that he couldn’t leave the fans, the same people that supported him when he won the Champion’s Cup last year, but he scoffed, saying his pay check was more important. I remembered the best days of my life in that stadium. Throughout all of it, two people were truly proud, and neither of them shared my first name. And then it dawned on me.
“…We’re going to leave Mom. Her grave is still here!†Cynthia’s eyes expanded. “My God, you can’t leave it here and leave! That’s… Oh, God, you’re really leaving…†I remembered the days long gone. Days where I played football after school, following in my father’s long shadow. My mother saying “You would make your father proud if he didn’t have to go to practice today.†Or “I wish your father was here to see today’s game.†Cynthia laid a hand on my shoulder. “Well, at least we have the memories… Remember the championship game this year?†I shuddered, remembering how much fun the Amateur Bowl, a national championship for high school teams. That day was by far the greatest time of my life.
(Four Months earlier…)
“Heh, you made it!†I was already suited up to play when Sheila Grady, my mother, and Cynthia strolled onto the benched marked for “familyâ€. Cynthia slapped my pads, laughing. “Of course we did, Dan! This is your big day! All the college scouts are watching, so go win, and don’t forget to have fun!†My mother wiped a bit of dirt off of my face. “And be safe, I worry about you…†I groaned. “Mom, you’re the one I’m worried about! Did you take your insulin today? All of it?†My mom rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dad. Go on and have fun. I’ll be fine.†I watched her warily. “Okay… Oh! Is Dad coming?†“No, your father has important contract issues to work out. I’m sorry.†I made myself look dejected, but inside I was jumping for joy. Today, I wasn’t gonna imitate my father. I was going to play MY way. And, I had been asked to come out last for a special introduction, which is kinda implied when you are a pro QB’s only son. “Okay! I’ve got to go, I’ll see you later, guys!†I ran into the UtahDome building, awaiting the introductions.
“Now… Put your hands together for the Utah Sabers!†My team jammed their helmets on their heads and ran outside, yelling and cheering. “Next, introducing one of the best teams in America! Get on your feet for the ILLINOOOOOIS RAILCAAATS!†The other team charged out of the other tunnel, leaving me alone, awaiting my introduction, which was supposed to be playing up on the JumboTron. “And now… The player that’s taken Utah by storm! The leading passer in the US Amateur Football League, and son of legendary quarterback Daniel Grady, and the first sophomore to get to this game! GET ON YOUR FEET!†A clip of my passing and previous performances played on the JumboTron, comparing them to my fathers’. Next, it showed my last-ditch pass in the Western Conference Championships to get here being caught easily, and my dad’s failure to do the same when he was a child. Replaying the dropped pass that haunted him for years. On national television. And I loved every second of it. “Here he is! DAAAAN GRAAAAAADYYY JUUUNIOOOR!†I heard a song play on the PA, a song made by a local band; it was called “Stepping from the Shadowâ€. Fitting.
I grinned, appreciating the choice, and ran outside, fist in the air. The crowd went nuts. I was feeling good, the Sabers were feeling good, and the RailCats were VERY intimidated. I set four records on our way to the biggest rout in Amateur Bowl history, winning 93-6. I was unanimously named MVP, another first. Afterwards, I hugged my mother, hoisting the only trophies I had that my father didn’t. After letting go, I turned to see Cynthia waiting for me, like she always did after games, win or lose. (As if we did that often…) On a whim, I grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. Of course, the crowd loved it, and I was on a total high. It wasn’t to last.
Three days later, all of that came to a crashing halt. I was told that we were moving to Cincinnati, and to make matters worse, Two weeks later, my mother died because of a diabetes-related heart attack. The reverie stopped, and I noticed that I was crying. “You miss her, don’t you?†I nodded. “I…was just thinking about the Amateur Bowl. And what happened afterwards.†“Dan! Come on!†I looked at Cynthia, for what I thought to be the last time. She took on a serious look. “You can stay with me, my parents always say that they wouldn’t mind.†I blinked, and my father clomped over angrily. “You better come on, you ain’t ‘bout to cost me no big money!†I was fed up. “Stuff it.†He froze. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?â€
I exploded, tired of his snide comments. “You don’t care about me, nor did you care about Mom! You never helped pay for her insulin, you never reminded her to take it, and were too busy to even GO TO HER FUNERAL! You’re just selfish, that’s what you are! You’re just pissed that you couldn’t hack it as a kid; you’re mad because I did something you couldn’t. You want to go to Cincinnati, and it’s because if the people here knew something I knew, they’d trade you to some bottom-of-the-barrel Division 5 team! And I KNOW what happened with Mom. I know about the lies and the mistresses. I know. Now, how would the press handle that info? You think I’m stupid? I have photos, you know. I didn’t say anything because it would break Mom’s heart. But now…It’s over. You can kiss your career goodbye!†“Don’t you ever talk to your father like that! Sheila was an annoying cripple, always with the ‘I got it!’ and the ‘I think we should check on Dan. I hope he’s okay’ and worst of all, the ‘I’m saving money for Dan in case something happens’!†I was sick and tired of this idiot. “YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER! JUST TAKE YOUR MONEY AND GO AWAY!†Daniel Grady scoffed. “Whatever, I’ve got a plane to catch, I’m gone. Idiot. Why did I even have kids anyway?†He mumbled as he walked away. I sighed, exhausted. “Give me a week. I need to sort some things out, and then I’ll take you up on your offer.†I hugged Cynthia, gripping her hand tight. “I’ll be back. Meet me at the one place where you feel we should meet. I’ll figure it out.†I headed off in the opposite direction as my father, who drove away, headed to Cincinnati.
Exactly a week later, I returned to the UtahDome to see Cynthia already there, waiting at the exit as she normally did. “Dan! You’re back!†“I said I’d come back, right?†I laughed. By going to the press with the photos, and showing them recordings of our little spat, I had ruined my dad’s career, and he was forced to retire. In the end, I lived on the money my mom had saved up from the pensions that was denied to my father because of his temperament and contract. Over twenty million dollars, which I spent according to a notebook left by Mom before she died. She knew the whole time, but she didn’t want to let me hear of it. She foresaw this, and spent three pages assuring me that he wasn’t always like this, and that I had to be careful not to become him. I was happy, and I got to stay in Utah. Everything worked out, but I can never forget what happened Moving Day. Or the Amateur Bowl, for that matter. I keep all four plaques, and both trophies on the mantle near the fireplace. Yeah, I was NOTHING like my dad. Now, I’m contemplating changing my name, but that would mean that I’m just changing history to suit ME, which is just like him. Instead, I have dedicated myself to being better than Daniel Grady Sr. Hah; I guess I won’t be getting Dad’s approval. Sorry, Mom. Entry 2
It was starting.
My destiny, my life’s dream, my escape from this planet; was finally ready. Ahead, loomed a vessel more beautiful than anything I had envisioned on the T.V. screen. It’s smooth, white paint glossed in the sun, and the sticker on the side told my entire story:
“NASA-Mars Mission #15: Ready for inhabitation†I broke through the gathering crowd and jumped over the fence. Of course, I was too young to join NASA. I had tried, but they wouldn’t accept me, saying something about “liability†and “safetyâ€. It didn’t matter though, because one way or another, I was going to leave this godforsaken planet-and my previous life with it. “Ladies and gentleman†The loudspeaker boomed in Russian. “Ignition has been delayed due to a break in on security.†carp! I’m screwed! My forehead began to sweat and I looked for a place to hide. I saw the guards charging at me to the left, and to the right was the tower for the rocket. Guards-whom scare me-or rocket ship-the reason why I was hear. Was it even a choice? Of course I went for the ship! Thankfully, I was a track runner-in my old life-and easily beat them to the tower. Besides, the guards weren’t too in-shape themselves if you know where I’m going. Once inside, I politely inched my way through the crowd towards the elevator. I ran up to it, looked for a button, and instead found a keyhole. Damn! Having no other choice, I sprinted up the spiraling stairs. Man, what a workout! I had no idea where the guards were anymore, but all I knew was that I was going straight to the rocket ship-and sweet, sweet freedom. It took all of my steam to reach the top, and when I did I had to stop for a second. For me, everything I did was a win, and beating the guards to the top was no exception. Unfortunately, my victory was short lived as I heard shouts and yelling from the stairs down below. I took a cliché gulp and sprinted towards the ship. Inside, a man was sitting-well, facing straight up-and clicking controls. His space suit-oh man, I forgot about a suit! Guess I didn’t think that part through. It was way too late for regrets, because right as the guards made it up the stairs I slipped into the ship-completely unnoticed, may I remind you. The loudspeaker got started up again. “False alarm†It voiced. “Resume the launch sequenceâ€. I crawled around the ship, trying to see what my home for the next few weeks looked like. It was small more cramped than I’d expected-and everything was color coated for easy storage and finding. Everywhere I looked, buttons were blinking and flashing in different patterns. I ready to see more, but my stomach grumbled, so I went back to the food storage. Sitting down on the floor, I nibbled on a freeze-dried sandwich and thought about my old life.
It happened exactly 3 years to the date. I remember it well. Mother and I were making cookies for the annual Denver festival. Each street was assigned something to make, and ours was assigned cookies. Mother had always been famous her strawberry jam crisps, so she was teaching me to make them. We had just finished the first batch when suddenly, the bright sunny sky turned unexpectedly dark. Mother told me to stay inside and not move, while she went outside to see what was happening.
That was when the first round of Russian nuclear warheads hit.
After that, America became engaged in nuclear war with Russia-it was WWIII, and we were loosing. Life was so different during that time. Food was scarce, and suicides and murders became frequent. It was the darkest time of my life, but one year after the war started, it ended. And Russia had won. Not only had it completely taken over the US and all of its’ territories, but it claimed Germany, France, all of the UK, Italy, Spain, and Mexico. Now, the only two countries in the world that mattered now were China and Russia, which was why the NASA program was continued-whoever inhabited Mars first would control the universe.
All of this was what pushed me over the edge-to have the ability to start a new life, and forget about the countries back on Earth. I finished my sandwich and smiled. It was a new life, time to forget about the old one. Just as threw the wrapper, the countdown began.
“10,†It was time for a new life. “9,†I crawled over to a compartment-and found a small space suit! “8,†I put it on. It fit well. “7,†I strapped my self into a chair near the back. I would have to make sure the pilot didn’t find me until we were launched. Then the Russians would not want to pull the shuttle down, so they would just let me stay. “6,†I pulled my buckle tight. “5,†I listened to the roars of people outside, who wished they could escape, too. “4,†I thought of my mother, who was somewhere among the stars. “3,â€
“Don’t worry, mother.†I whispered.
“2,â€
“I’m coming to see you.â€
“1!†I closed my eyes, and smiled. “Ignition!†First to 8 votes wins!
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 10, 2011
Wait, you need to include the voting at least in the OP
EDIT: Never mind, you made the poll.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - sonicsora123 - Jul. 10, 2011
they were both stunning pieces of writing. but i think entry one really got the emotion of the character well.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
Hm? Someone besides me, Sparta or Coasters "R" Us voted "Only Coasters, Sparta, and Megablader9 should choose this". Anyways, this should be fun.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - ƛnubis - Jul. 11, 2011
One was great. Whoever wrote it has a great vocabulary.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 11, 2011
Ha, I think I went waaay overboard with my entry. I can't specify in what way, because that would which one is mine.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
I don't think so. I think mine may have been a bit over-dramatic myself. Anyway, I would have preferred the poll be public, so that way, we know who voted for who, and make sure that nobody just voted for themselves (Theoretically. I trust everyone involved enough so that they play by the rules.) Mainly, I'm peeved by whoever voted for the third choice for no reason.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 11, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 6:20 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: I don't think so. I think mine may have been a bit over-dramatic myself. Anyway, I would have preferred the poll be public, so that way, we know who voted for who, and make sure that nobody just voted for themselves (Theoretically. I trust everyone involved enough so that they play by the rules.) Mainly, I'm peeved by whoever voted for the third choice for no reason.
Yeah, that was kinda weird...unless it was another coasters megablader or Sparta :0
Honestly, this was NOT my best work. I started it at 12:15 and finished at 12:20. NOT a lot of effort...
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
Meh, mine took about three hours to finish. Editing was a PAIN. Maybe my ending was a bit abrupt?
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - sonicsora123 - Jul. 11, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 8:00 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: Meh, mine took about three hours to finish. Editing was a PAIN. Maybe my ending was a bit abrupt?
I know your one now. heh. my vote stays
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
Meh. I wish people would at least post WHY they voted for someone. That would be best. You don't have to, but it's recommended.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 11, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 8:42 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: Meh. I wish people would at least post WHY they voted for someone. That would be best. You don't have to, but it's recommended.
EDIT: Apparently, my post was illegal
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - The Fire Wyrm - Jul. 11, 2011
you sorta copied mine....
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
Ah! Edit that, Sparta! It's not illegal, I don't think, but it may make some people vote for or against you depending on who wrote what.
Copied what, TFW?
And please, NO MORE VOTING FOR THE THIRD CHOICE! It's a wasted vote.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 11, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 9:28 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: Ah! Edit that, Sparta! It's not illegal, I don't think, but it may make some people vote for or against you depending on who wrote what.
Copied what, TFW?
And please, NO MORE VOTING FOR THE THIRD CHOICE! It's a wasted vote.
Haha, two more people...
Really, we should have just made it a public poll
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 11, 2011
...You people are ignoring me to annoy us, aren't you? It's not hard. Pick choice ONE or TWO. The third one is OFF LIMITS. Geez, I really want to know who's doin' this stuff.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 11, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 11:13 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: ...You people are ignoring me to annoy us, aren't you? It's not hard. Pick choice ONE or TWO. The third one is OFF LIMITS. Geez, I really want to know who's doin' this stuff.
Haha, 2 more! I shouldn't encourage them, but I have to admit it's kind of funny that we're all getting TO'd and they keep ignoring us.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - DynaZord - Jul. 11, 2011
But it is starting to annoy me like crazy. Ignorant users...
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 12, 2011
Just close the poll so people will have to vote in person. It is very annoying.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 12, 2011
(Jul. 11, 2011 11:59 PM)Coasters "R" Us Wrote: But it is starting to annoy me like crazy. Ignorant users...
People these days tisk tisk tisk....
Wait, I forget. Is it the first to 8 or is there a date (rhyme)
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 12, 2011
We may have to start over. All these non-votes skew data. (Yeah, I said "data". Technically, it is.) We should have a date, though.
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 12, 2011
(Jul. 12, 2011 12:04 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: We may have to start over. All these non-votes skew data. (Yeah, I said "data". Technically, it is.) We should have a date, though. Ok, your right; and sure, how about the 16th?
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Temporal - Jul. 12, 2011
I like the 15th better, but why not?
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - Sparta - Jul. 12, 2011
(Jul. 12, 2011 12:10 AM)Megablader9 Wrote: I like the 15th better, but why not?
Oh, does that not work for you? We can change it if you'd like...
To avoid SPAM, let's continue this through PM's. For now, maybe we should just have this thread closed...
RE: Writing Battle- Sparta vs. Megablader9- A Boy Leaving - DynaZord - Jul. 12, 2011
It was supposed to be first to 8, read the very bottom of the OP. I can't close the poll, only mods can.
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