World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: Story Of Lane's Sister: Athena (BBB OC Story) (Completed Until Further Notice)
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(May. 31, 2021  3:10 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ][Image: 2ea1bc867408a4f0bc4d46572dc22ecfe7579c68...8v2-hq.jpg]

Adeona Heaven/Royal

That's cool, way better than my bey drawings
-_- 

Aaanyway, Cool drawing. As for Adeona|| chip, I really hope that grey is actually silver. (I'll confess that i didn't read much of your story but from what I read, it's nice)
(Jun. 01, 2021  9:57 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ]
(May. 31, 2021  3:10 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ][Image: 2ea1bc867408a4f0bc4d46572dc22ecfe7579c68...8v2-hq.jpg]

Adeona Heaven/Royal

That's cool, way better than my bey drawings
Tired 

Aaanyway, Cool drawing. As for Adeona|| chip, I really hope that grey is actually silver. (I'll confess that i didn't read much of your story but from what I read, it's nice)

Its supposed to be Clear, idk why it came out super grey.
(Jun. 01, 2021  5:42 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]
(Jun. 01, 2021  9:57 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ]That's cool, way better than my bey drawings
Tired 

Aaanyway, Cool drawing. As for Adeona|| chip, I really hope that grey is actually silver. (I'll confess that i didn't read much of your story but from what I read, it's nice)

Its supposed to be Clear, idk why it came out super grey.
Maybe it's the ink overshadowing itself, making it darker idk
(Jun. 01, 2021  5:42 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]
(Jun. 01, 2021  9:57 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ]That's cool, way better than my bey drawings
Tired 

Aaanyway, Cool drawing. As for Adeona|| chip, I really hope that grey is actually silver. (I'll confess that i didn't read much of your story but from what I read, it's nice)

Its supposed to be Clear, idk why it came out super grey.

You might have colored the same spot twice? It happens a lot to me when using colored markers.
(Jun. 03, 2021  6:45 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 38
https://www.wattpad.com/1073735346-story...lade-burst

Adeona's back in action, hooray! Sadly I can't give a detailed review this time, but I suppose I could still put in a rating:

Plot: 5/5.
Dialogue: 4.5/5.
Characterization: 5/5.
Grammar: 4.5/5.
Battle: 4.5/5.

Final Rating: 23.5/25. Sweet chapter, now let's see what this whole special training is about..
Upcoming chapters
Chapter 39: Training! Master The Limit Break!
Chapter 40: New Friend, New Rival! Lunatic Cthulhu!
Chapter 41: The Black And Evil Lucifer The End!!
Chapter 42: Visit To Valhalla Manor!
(Jun. 03, 2021  11:13 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 40: New Friend, New Rival! Lunatic Cthulhu!
This gives me Terraria vibes
(Jun. 04, 2021  8:21 AM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: [ -> ]
(Jun. 03, 2021  11:13 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 40: New Friend, New Rival! Lunatic Cthulhu!
This gives me Terraria vibes

Fun fact: Lunatic Cthulhu is the Bey I designed for the Bey contest, and I actually based it off of the Lunatic Cultist and the Cthulhu from Terraria, so yes, you're right.
New Chapter has been changed to Rematch From Heaven And Hell! Athena Takes Her Revenge!

(Still has some training moments but it's kind of a side plot)
cool i just read 29 chapters in 1 hour beause i never read this fan fic and now im jut noticing it keep up the good work
Sneak peek of what im currently working on
[Image: 20210612-001717.jpg]


(also don't question why im writing on an XBOX, its not practical nor ideal but it gets the job done. Im just built different)
(Jun. 03, 2021  6:45 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 38
https://www.wattpad.com/1073735346-story...lade-burst

I expected none less than Athena.

Athena's now going to master limit break, and then beat the living daylights out of Lucifer. Perfect end.
(Jun. 12, 2021  10:18 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Sneak peek of what im currently working on
[Image: 20210612-001717.jpg]


(also don't question why im writing on an XBOX, its not practical nor ideal but it gets the job done. Im just built different)

+ Respect
(Jun. 12, 2021  10:18 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Sneak peek of what im currently working on
[Image: 20210612-001717.jpg]


(also don't question why im writing on an XBOX, its not practical nor ideal but it gets the job done. Im just built different)

Ayyyye, I see another WBO member who types on Xbox. RESPECT 100
New Chapter soon. Stay tuned.
(Sep. 30, 2020  4:01 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Athena, a 10 year old girl who happens to be the younger sister of Lane Valhalla. Once obtaining Lucifer, Lane abandoned everything, his mentor Shu and his little sister Athena. Worried that his flare would eventually destroy him, Athena takes it upon herself to bring an end to the Black Sun that is her brother, Lane. A new tournament begins and Lane was confirmed to enter but with Destruction on his mind. Now trying to prevent him from wreaking havoc in the tournament, Lane's life is now in Athenas hands. 
Note: This is a Sparking AU!


Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Episode Count - 51 + 2 Bonus Chapters (PM me saying OOF to get all 51 chapter titles)

all beys

Guide/Angelic Adeona Ch' 4A -> Adeona Heaven/Royal 王 Cm'+C
Variant Lucifer Mb 2D -> Flare Lucifer Dr 2D
Super Hyperion Xc 1A
King Helios Zn 1B
Brave Valkyrie Ev' 2A
World Spriggan U' 2B
Infinite Achilles Dm' 1B
Tempest Dragon Cm 1A
Glide Ragnaruk Wh R 1S
Curse Satan Hr Un 1D
Rage Longinus Ds' 3A
Mirage Fafnir Nt 2S
Death/Abyss Diabolos Gn' 3B
Zone Xcalibur 1'D Ir' 5A  
Utopia Genesis Hy 1D
Pulse Wyvern Om 3D
Lunatic Cthulhu Wh Pm' 1S

Episodes


Story Of Lanes Sister: Athena - Paths Of Dreams And Fire

4 years later, Athena continues her journey to bring Lane to his senses.

Bey List

1. Solar Adeona Lv 6A
2. Panic Bahamut Om 2D  
3. Emperor Lucifer Bc 4D
4. Smash Dragren X' 7A

S2 Chapters

Season 3 Stuff (Dont click spoiler unless you WANT to be spoiled)

This was so good like 10/10 keep it up
Hey I might be getting back to reading this fic! Haven't read it in a while because I had troubles keeping up.
I already said how good this book was but I love it even more I'm on chapter 9 and it just keeps on getting better (Wonder if Athena will turn evil like Lane) I might make something like this when DB ends for DB
So excited for Chapter 39 feel bad for Athen tho because she's been through a lot at this point.
Chapter 39
https://www.wattpad.com/1081594885-story...lade-burst



what did you think of your beys first battle.
(Jun. 19, 2021  7:39 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 39
https://www.wattpad.com/1081594885-story...lade-burst

what did you think of your beys first battle.

Dang, that battle really does Cthulhu justice! Best chapter yet!
(Jun. 19, 2021  7:39 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 39
https://www.wattpad.com/1081594885-story...lade-burst

what did you think of your beys first battle.

OMG I'M SO EXITED TO READ THIS!!!

(Jun. 19, 2021  7:39 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: [ -> ]Chapter 39
https://www.wattpad.com/1081594885-story...lade-burst

what did you think of your beys first battle.

I'm starting to feel bad for Lane he keeps getting recked
Coming Chapters

Chapter 40: New Friend, New Rival! Lunatic Cthulhu!
Chapter 41: The Jet Black Sun! Lucifer The End!!
Chapter 42: Visit To Valhalla Manor!
Chapter 43: Swirling Flames! Lane Vs Shu!
Chapter 44: Burning Bright! Athena Vs Hikaru And Hyuga!!
Chapter 40: New Friend, New Rival! Lunatic Cthulhu! Summary: Athena takes on Cthulhus supernatural power..

Chapter 41: The Jet Black Sun! Lucifer The End!! Summary: Tears will fall... Lane returns and with a new bey in hand..

Chapter 42: Visit To Valhalla Manor! Summary: Training for a now decided final battle, Athena takes a select few of her friends to her birthplace: Valhalla Manor!
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