World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: Poems: Post, or Criticize positively.
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Mine:
Her eyes are as black as coal, almost as dark as her soul.

Brown hair that of a goddess, with an attitude that is quite modest.

I am partly sure that I‘ve insisted, that her mind is quite twisted.

Some people think she's a little hinky, but from stories I’ve heard, she's downright kinky.

She thinks I am a stalker, to that thought I’d just mock her.

I imagine her standing on a castle’s veranda, the young, beautiful, and sweet Miranda.




What do you think, criticize nicely
you sound like a stalker
(May. 07, 2010  9:10 PM)Bey Brad Wrote: [ -> ]you sound like a stalker
lol I agree. i mean it is nice and all but if someone wrote this kind of stuff to me i'd turn it in to the principal.....and if you know that she thinks you are a stalker then why the heck are you writing poems about her.....?
i haven't seen her in like 6 months and i can't get her out of my mind...
Does not sound persistently stalker but it does not sound all that age appropriate if you catch my drift. (Some here might be 12)
Yeah, Im 12. I find it alright, but it has that awkward feeling, if you know what i mean. I can't explain, maybe it's just me because poems that i listen to seem much different. To sum this all up, it seems the way you're expressing her personality, it all appears very detailed..I'm going to agree lol, and say that it just has a partial stalker sort of thing in it.