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A few weeks ago I promised to do a few of the Metal System Beyblades. I have written one of them and I want to know if you think my writing is up to scratch so I don't end up having wasted my time because I am not at a high enough level. I have used the DF145 section from the Virgo article

Gemios DF145FS

Face: Gemios

The Face depicts Gemini, the third astrological sign of the Zodiac.

Wheel: Gemios

Weight: 36 grams
Gemios is a largely circular wheel with two winged protrusions from the side. It's circular shape is composed of two large, wings that end in an abrupt drop with a pointed edge. At the opposite edge of these apexes there are arched banks which give the wheel a slight bit of smash attack, however it is fairly ineffective. All in all there are many superior alternatives for smash such as Storm.

Use in Attack Customization
If alternatives such as Storm, Sagittario and Leone are not available, you can get a small degree of effective smash attack in the combo Gemios 100RF.

Track: Down Force 145

Weight: 3 grams
DF145 has four upward facing wings protruding from the top of the Track, which aside from giving it extra weight are meant to push air downwards. While the effects of the wings themselves may be negligible, they likely do help stabilize the Beyblade they are being used on to some capacity. This capability makes it quite useful for Stamina customs, where staying balanced and retaining spin is of utmost importance. The wings can also help protect from low, 90 or 100 based Attackers, but to a much lesser extent than something like C145.
Use in Stamina Customization
DF145 can be put to good use in the customs, Virgo DF145SD, Earth Aquila DF145SD, Flame Sagittario DF145SD and Libra DF145SD

Bottom: Flat Sharp

Weight: 1 gram
Weight: 0.6g
FS features a flat tip with a smaller, sharper tip in the centre. As a result, when launched at a straight angle, the Beyblade spins on this sharp tip, with very little movement. However, when tilted, either from the contact of an opposing Beyblade or from the launch, the Bottom moves in an offensive pattern. However, it suffers from the same problems as other Balance Bottoms, in that the two qualities are compromised, resulting in mediocre performance in both fields.

Overall

Gemios DF145FS has almost no competitive value and the only acceptable part it contains is DF145, which is easily available though other means. This Beyblade should only be bought for collection purposes.


Any corrections/advice is welcome.
In the Bottom section, you switch from calling it Flat Sharp to Sharp Flat.
Thank you, edited.
Actually, there are several more typos in that paragraph now I look closer. "...its poor balance beans..." and "There are fare better options..."
I appreciate it. I evidently did not proof read well enough.
I'd lean against mentioning price, because it is subject to change all the time. Otherwise good article Smile
OK, point taken.
If there are no further comments from the committee or anyone else, I will write the rest of them.
I've read over the article and do have a few comments/suggestions; I'll post them later when I get some time.
(Feb. 27, 2010  8:19 PM)Benkei Wrote: [ -> ]Wheel: Gemios

Weight: 36 grams
Gemios is a largely circular wheel with two winged protrusions from the side. It's circular shape is composed of two large, wings that end in an abrupt drop with a pointed edge. These points give Gemios a slight bit of smash attack, however it is fairly ineffective. All in all there are many superior alternatives for smash such as Storm.

Use in Attack Customization
If alternatives such as Storm, Sagittario and Leone are not available, you can get a small degree of effective smash attack in the combo Gemios 100RF.

You make it sound as if it is those points that give Gemios it's Smash Attack, but, how is that possible with it being right-spin? I did some testing with Gemios after reading this, and it indeed does have some Attack potential, which is surprising! Nobody really gave it any thought when it was released, and like L Drago, it was quickly dismissed. It's certainly not a Quetz by any means, but it isn't horrible.

(Feb. 27, 2010  8:19 PM)Benkei Wrote: [ -> ]Bottom: Flat Sharp

Weight: 1 gram
Flat Sharp is shaped almost entirely like a Flat Bottom apart from a slight projection from the tip’s bottom. This protrusion gives FS a fair amount of stamina, however its poor balance means that the Beyblade is offset and the remainder of the bottom grinds against the stadium floor causing a significant decrease in stamina. There are far better options for stamina that are as easily obtainable such as SD, D, WD and B.

Your FS description is decent, but I find ♥'s to be better:
♥ Wrote:Weight: 0.6g
FS features a flat tip with a smaller, sharper tip in the centre. As a result, when launched at a straight angle, the Beyblade spins on this sharp tip, with very little movement. However, when tilted, either from the contact of an opposing Beyblade or from the launch, the Bottom moves in an offensive pattern. However, it suffers from the same problems as other Balance Bottoms, in that the two qualities are compromised, resulting in mediocre performance in both fields.

Feel free to post this, with ♥'s FS description, and I will make some edits to the Gemios and Overall sections. For a first attempt though, good job! I can see you improving in the future. Smile
I have made some small edits my self. I did not realise how ambiguous that part was. I have also used ♥'s FS description.
I've actually noticed that Gemios has a very violent smash attack. However it needs to be spinning at a high RPM and needs to make direct contact with the opponents Metal Wheel.