World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: Beyblade Evil Descends
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Hello guys! If you could check control panel,you would find out that I love writing stories. I was planning a story and I would love to post it on WBO.Reply to say if it is a good story or vote in the poll.

CHAPTER ONE

'Hey!Give me your money!'shouted one of the bullies.
The boy held by thier hands struggled, and punched one the bullies in his groin. The bully yelled in pain and let go of the boy. The boy starting sprinting through the alley. The bullies ran after him. Waterdrops fell from the sky.

'' Help!" shouted the boy.[/i]

The boy slipped and knocked his head on the concrete floor. His eye's immedietaly closed. Suddenly,out of nowhere, a bey came flying. It shrouded the whole alley with black mist.
The bullies never saw what was coming. There was a scream.
A bully's head got smacked by the bey,and blood oozed out of his wound. No one knew whether he survived. He fell on the floor and didn't move a muscle.

Every other bully recieved the same treatment, and after finishing them off, the black mist dissapeared. A figure in a silhoutte jumped from the alley's roof and landed beside the boy.
The figure was going to pick him up but stopped when he saw the beyblade in his bag.
A Variaries....he could become a worthy companion.

He picked him up and started running away ,hiding himself in the silhoutte.

Chapter two

The boy opened his eyes. He realized he was in a bed. He stood up and saw a PERSON using a computer. ''Hello...who are you? When did I come here?" asked the boy. He had a flash what was happenning at the alley.
The person using the computer turned around and looked at the boy.The person had jet black hair,a bit messed up like Kyoya's?! He wore a blue colour jacket and black pants.
" My name is Sean lucci. And this is Morpheus." Sean said.
''Uh,I'm Matthew...and this is Variaries!"Said Matt.
''okay,I want to know what was going on there in the alley?"asked Sean.
'It's a long story..you are welcome if you can be patient,"said Matt.
"Yup,just go ahead.."said sean.
" Okay,here it goes. DO you know about the incident aobut the revival of nemesis a few years ago?There were 10 legendary bladers who were supposed to stop the revival of the Diablo nemesis and they succeeded. One of the legendary bladers was my brother. His name was King. He owned the bey I showed you.
He was killed by a madman named Arnold who wanted the power of all the beys. Since the tournament of King of the Beyblade world is coming, he is on his attempt to make the best Beyblade ever. Because the price is a mouth watering Hundred million Dollars. King gave the Beyblad eto me and told me to make a run for it before he died. Now the people who chasing me in the alley were his minions...but he doesn't know the danger in it. He will awaken a evil beyblade after crossing the limits. It's name Ripper Krakken. You have to help us, Sean...You have to defeat him once and for all..."
TO BE Continued...
I will write again...
First, you should probably put your chapters in spoilers.

It's alright, but the grammar needs a lot of work, and you should try to space it out more.
Thanks for the advice Dual and I will work on the grammar. But I don't know how to put spoilers since I am just new....(I joined day before yesterday..)

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 2- Squid the killer

Chapter three

Rain drops beat on the ground. A heavy rain was going on. Suddenly, Sean broke through, sweating, and scared. Behind him ran Matt shouting directions to the Arnobladers HQ. There were cameras outside the building, seeking intruders who did not belong to Arnobladers even before they arrived. Matt's Variaries broke every camera in a flash. Sean walked through the auto-doors
and entered the HQ.
''Hey! Where are you going!" shouted one of the Men inside.
''To make your Boss Seaside food!" replied Sean.
Sean launched his Bey. The guy launched a Death Quetzelcoatl at his Shattered Morpheus. Quetzelcoatl started attacking his Shattered Morpheus on the facebolt. The Morpheus moved back and let the Quetzelcoatl fall. Then Morpheus attacked the Quetzelcoatl's Tip and suddenly it happenned so abruptly. Morpheus suddenly turned into a Transparent figure and went through Quetzelcoatl.Then Quetzelcoatl fell and each of the parts flew off. Then more men came to stop him.
'' I don't have any time for this, you Idiots!"Shouted Sean.
"STOOP HIIIM!!!"shouted one of the men.
"SHUT UPPP!!! Shattered Morpheus! Use your special move! Shattering Darkness Explosion!"
Shattered Morpheus's Bit-Beast, a fog which turned into Ninja with a glowing staff whacked the roof of the area. There was a large explosion of darkness that filled the area. A few minutes later, the darkness resided and there was only dust.
And then there were footsteps.
"Now who did this mess?" said a figure.
"I did. I hope you are Arnold! 'cause I'm here to kill ya'!"shouted Sean.
" What the heck are you talking about?" said the figure.
All of a sudden, a beyblade flew out and hit his chest. Arnold ripped his blade and smashed his bey back. " Killer Squid! Destroy him!"
Squid started attacking Morpheus and Morpheus dodged it. Morpheus went in a circle and atttacked him from under. Squid and Morpheus hit each other again and there was a large blast of recoil. Fog filled the place again. Suddenly, Morpheus went super fast and it was back to it's original power.
"My Morpheus absorbed the impact with it's rubber! Now it's 4D bottom has turned to it's second mode-superspeed mode!It's gonna deliver the same damage doubled..."said Sean.
'Let's just see! Use your special move... Squid-Ink strangling Suffocation!"
"You carp!!!What have you done!" screamed Sean.
The wires broke and there was a large explosion of air and heat.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"shouted Matt, who was lying in the rubble of the roof.

To be continued...
Next part is coming soon...

Post your comments!
And someone tell me how to do a spoiler!
You can do a spoiler by typing this: [spoiler] Write whatever you want in spoilers here. [/ spoiler]
Just don't put the space between the / and the "s".
Not a bad story. Is this weekly or daily? Just want to know if there is a schedule.
Thanks for telling me how to put the spoilers Dual and thanks for asking RagerBlade, it is daily and maybe multiple times a day.

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 3- We are Team dungeon!

Chapter four
Chapter five

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 4- Kenta's sacrifice



To be continued...
Looks like Dual beat me to the punch on this one. Dammit Dual (Jk XD).

But yeah, chapters in spoilers, grammar, spacing definitely needs to be added. However, this does have a great storyline and good descriptions in it.

Still needs a lot of touch-ups, but i think this could be a really good story. Smile
Thanks for giving your comments guys, It makes me feel really happy. I hope this becomes more popular.

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 5- Rise of the Monster

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

TO BE CONTINUED...
Thanks for the links!Now I know what a dragon den stadium is!Great story but the chapters could be a little longer.
Hello guys! I knew that Links would help and I will try to make the chapters bigger.

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 6-Sean's past


Chapter ten
Chapter eleven

Chapter twelve

TO. BE. CONTINUED.
Chapter 11 and 12 are way too short. I think you should add to them.
I am trying actually, but I have to finish it as quick as possible since school is gonna start in a few days.
Besides, I want to make it short like the episodes.
Anyway, I know it is too quick to ask this, but which is your favorite chapter\part.Eee
Chapter 10 is my favorite!
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 7- Hattori THE Ninja!

Chapter Thirteen


TO BE CONTINUED...
Ninja Hattori, as in the show?
Nope...one of the most famous ninjas in the history of ninjas-That Hattori.
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 8- Welcome to the wild

Chapter fourteen

TO BE CONTINUED...
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 9-Vanishing expert

Chapter fifteen
Nice story and concept! Keep going!
Sorry for the delay,didn't have Internet due to some problem for 3 weeks.

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 10-Need more Teammates!

Chapter sixteen
Chapter seventeen
To be continued...
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-Moonlight Lupius

Chapter eighteen
TO BE CONTINUED...
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-Moonlight Lupius

Chapter eighteen
TO BE CONTINUED...

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-Moonlight Lupius

Chapter eighteen
TO BE CONTINUED...

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-Moonlight Lupius

Chapter eighteen
TO BE CONTINUED...
Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-The nightmare of the Wolf

Chapter nineteen
Sorry guys but now the schedule will be changed to every Sat and Fri or every Sat or Sun since school is starting for me.
See ya next time.

Beyblade Evil Descends
Part 11-The nightmare of the Wolf

Chapter nineteen
Sorry guys but now the schedule will be changed to every Sat and Fri or every Sat or Sun since school is starting for me.
See ya next time.
Now those are some ok sized chapters. Keep up the good work!