World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: [Story] Kujikato's Writing Showcase
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Prompt: My First Day at a New School (Click to View)


CnC is appreciated
I'm not a fan of romantic stuff, but obviously there's more to the story than that. This is very good! The detail is incredible, it's the perfect amount, only saw one spelling error (tough as opposed to touch), and it kept me thoroughly intrigued the whole way through.

Amazing job!
Great work Kujikato! I like the fact that you have been able to include a lot of detail, which is key for what you've written. Also, great length. I don't know what to say, apart from awesome.

Ehehehehehhee, I didn't catch that one, ahha. I haven't proof-read this yet, so thanks for pointing that out Wink
This was actually an experiment, literally - my first romance related story. I've never written one before, so this was a first.


Thanks Smile

Thanks for all the positive comments! Much appreciated!
Right More!

As much as I like adventure and action this really brightened up my day!

I love it!

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BROFIST ...........
Ah, time to critique...

Well, it's obviously got a good topic to go on. Very nice writing ability on display. However, Space it out a bit. It's kinda hard to read. With a lot of content there, you may want to shorten down some of it (unless there's details that you feel are important), because the spacing in that 1st part will make a long part look even longer.

Other than spacing, this is well on its way to being one of the best stories I've seen.
Hahaha, dude this was a one-shot really. No intention of drawing it out. At least, not yet.

Thanks though!
You're awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEeeEee[/align][/i][/b][/color][/size][/font]