World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: (Story) Beyblade: The Relief of Living
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This is my next story, enjoy:

Prologue:
Chapter 1: Relief
I saw a lot of grammar mistakes but the storyline is pretty good. Keep it up!
Many grammar mistakes, otherwise good story line.
And is it me or did the whole grouping so many sentances in one paragraph mess me up.
It should be like this:

"Hey!" Sam exclaimed.
"Hey man!" Ted replied.

I hope this helps.
Good luck!
I will take these under consideration. Thank you for the advice.