World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: A New Beginning (chapter 1)
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prologue
Chapter 1:An Old Friend
Some grammar mistakes, as you forgot the comma for the beginning of the dialogue. You also need a space after sentences.
(Oct. 19, 2012  1:55 AM)Shirayuki Wrote: [ -> ]Some grammar mistakes, as you forgot the comma for the beginning of the dialogue. You also need a space after sentences.

Yeah I kind of did left some spaces on some sentences...was the story good?
(Oct. 19, 2012  1:59 AM)sparkman321lir Wrote: [ -> ]
(Oct. 19, 2012  1:55 AM)Shirayuki Wrote: [ -> ]Some grammar mistakes, as you forgot the comma for the beginning of the dialogue. You also need a space after sentences.

Yeah I kind of did left some spaces on some sentences...was the story good?
I generally don't say things like that, but I guess XD

anyways, conversation ends here


Interesting story keep it up
Guys I Will start another story I think this one might be better! The new chapter is going up today!
I am sorry if I am double posting,but I just did the first chapter and sorry if I haven't been on lately!. I 've just been very busy,but not anymore! hope you like this story like my other one! and vote on the pole and leave comments of your opinion.